A sexual violation in an analytic treatment and its personal and theoretical aftermath



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SEXUAL VIOLATION  IN AN ANALYTIC TREATMENT 

75

like parents and other caretakers, might want to sacrifice the inevitable 



urge to enact the forbidden. Analysts have called on each other to be-

have like (good) parents, to abstain from sexual action. But better than 

exhortation would be, in my view, a redefinition of abstinence as the 

pleasure one takes in another’s desire, which would afford a way to ap-

preciate the conflicts analysts inevitably undergo relative to patients’—

and their own—desire.

Dr. O’s lapse was a perfect storm, a disastrous meeting of technical er-

ror, intellectual vacuum, and moral failure. I hoped to tell of it without 

singing a song of victimization in the key of good and bad, and using my 

shame to tarnish him and burnish myself. I sought a voice to speak the 

unsayable, words that would help me think through the unthinkable. 

Now I see the problem inhabits an additional register: psychoanalysis 

deserves to be construed beyond idealization and demonization, a task 

to which a judicious skepticism (Harris 1996) is well suited. Let us ac-

knowledge our collective lapse: psychoanalysis did not protect me, and 

it has not protected others, from an all too common betrayal, and this 

failure is very sad. In grieving, of course, I am also claiming psychoanaly-

sis can do better. There is a worst, there is a best, and then there is the 

mundane middle, in which, despite our shame about our personal and 

collective errors and failings, we can and should maintain our self-critical 

stance and keep on thinking.

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Muriel Dimen, Ph.D., is Adjunct Clinical Professor of Psychology at New 

York University Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psycho-

analysis. A Fellow at the New York Institute for the Humanities, New 

York University, Muriel Dimen practices in Manhattan and supervises 

nationally.



3 East 10th Street, Suite 181

New York, NY 10003 

murieldimen@nyu.edu

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