SEXUAL VIOLATION IN AN ANALYTIC TREATMENT
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like parents and other caretakers, might want to sacrifice the inevitable
urge to enact the forbidden. Analysts have called on each other to be-
have like (good) parents, to abstain from sexual action. But better than
exhortation would be, in my view, a redefinition of abstinence as the
pleasure one takes in another’s desire, which would afford a way to ap-
preciate the conflicts analysts inevitably undergo relative to patients’—
and their own—desire.
Dr. O’s lapse was a perfect storm, a disastrous meeting of technical er-
ror, intellectual vacuum, and moral failure. I hoped to tell of it without
singing a song of victimization in the key of good and bad, and using my
shame to tarnish him and burnish myself. I sought a voice to speak the
unsayable, words that would help me think through the unthinkable.
Now I see the problem inhabits an additional register: psychoanalysis
deserves to be construed beyond idealization and demonization, a task
to which a judicious skepticism (Harris 1996) is well suited. Let us ac-
knowledge our collective lapse: psychoanalysis did not protect me, and
it has not protected others, from an all too common betrayal, and this
failure is very sad. In grieving, of course, I am also claiming psychoanaly-
sis can do better. There is a worst, there is a best, and then there is the
mundane middle, in which, despite our shame about our personal and
collective errors and failings, we can and should maintain our self-critical
stance and keep on thinking.
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Muriel Dimen, Ph.D., is Adjunct Clinical Professor of Psychology at New
York University Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psycho-
analysis. A Fellow at the New York Institute for the Humanities, New
York University, Muriel Dimen practices in Manhattan and supervises
nationally.
3 East 10th Street, Suite 181
New York, NY 10003
murieldimen@nyu.edu
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