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rogor fiqrob, ras mogvitans 27 ivlisi?

ana
paraskevi, 30 ivnisi, 1944

Zvirfaso kiwi!

amindi cudia, anu: bad weather at a stretch to the 30-th of Juno3. (3 30 ivnisamde cudi amindia (ingl.).) sworia ara? o, me ukve sakmaod kargad vici inglisuri. magaliTad, vkiTxulob `An udeal Husbend~4 (4 `idealuri qmari~) (leqsikonis daxmarebiT). saomari operaciebi brwyinvaled mimdinareobs! aiRes bobruiski, mogilevi, orSa, uamravi tyve Caigdes xelT. CvenTan yvelaferi ol rait, ganwyobilebac ki. Cveni hiperoptimistebi zeimoben. eli Tmas sxvanairad ivarcxnis, mipma erTi kviris Svebuleba aiRo. axali sxva araferia.

ana
xuTSabaTi, 6 ivlisi, 1944

Zvirfaso kiwi!

guli mikvdeba, roca peteri ambobs, rodisme an borotmoqmedi gavxdebi, anda spekulantio. marTalia, amas xumrobiT ambobs, magram iseTi grZnoba maqvs, rom mas TviTon eSinia sakuTari unebisyofobis. waramara mesmis xan margosagan, xan ki peterisagan: `me rom iseTi Zlieri da gabeduli viyo, rogorc Sen, me rom iseTive daJinebiT SemeZlos gavitano Cemi, rogorc Sen, me rom SensaviT amtani viyo, eh, maSin...!~.

nuTu marTla sanaqebo Tvisebaa rom sxvisi gavlenis qveS ar veqcevi? gana sworia, rom mxolod Cemi sindisis karnaxs vemorCilebi? marTali giTxra, verc ki warmomidgenia, rogor SeiZleba kacma Tqvas: `me susti var~ da mainc susti darCes. ki magram, Tu kacma icis, rom sustia, ratom ar ebrZvis sisustes, ratom ar cdilobs nebisyofa gamoiwrTos? peterma mipasuxa: `ase bevrad ufro advilia~. amgvarma pasuxma, cota ar iyos, damanaRvliana. advili! gana uqnaroba, mudam sakuTari Tavis motyueba, advilia? o, ara, ar SeiZleba ase iyos, marTali araa, ar SeiZleba, rom sizarmacem da... fulma ase swrafad garyvnas adamiani.

me didxans vfiqrobdi, ra pasuxi gameca, rogor STamenerga peterisaTvis sakuTari Tavisadmi rwmena da, rac mTavaria, gamomesworebina. ar vici, SevZleb Tu ara amas.

xSirad miocnebia, ra kargi iqneboda vinme rom bolomde gulaxdili yofiliyo CemTan, magram mxolod axla mivxvdi, ra Znelia bolomde Cawvde vinmes da amave dros rame urCio, miT umetes, roca cnebebi `fuli~ da `advili~ CemTvis sruliad ucxo da axalia. peteri ukve cdilobs me dameyrdnos, magram es araviTar SemTxvevaSi ar unda moxdes. iseT adamianebs, rogoric peteria, sakuTar fexebze dgoma uWirT, xolo Tu Segnebulad cxovroben, kidev ufro uZneldebaT gzis gakvleva auracxel problemebs Soris. me axla ratomRac erT adgilas vtrialeb. guliT ki minda Cavwvde am sazizRari cnebis Sinaarss — `advilia~. rogor gavagebino peters, rom rac axla advili da mSvenieri Cans, mas iseT ufskrulSi CaiTrevs, sadac arc megobrebia, arc silamaze, arc sayrdeni da saidanac verasodes veRar amoxval.

Cven yvelani vcxovrobT am qveyanaze, magram ar viciT, ratom da risTvis. vcxovrobT im mizniT, rom bednierni viyoT, vcxovrobT sxvadasxvanairad da mainc erTnairad. Cven samni karg pirobebSi gavizardeT, SegviZlia viswavloT, mivaRwieT raRacas, samives gvaqvs safuZveli, ukeTesi cxovrebis imedi viqonioT, magram... amis ufleba Cven TviTonve unda movipovoT; es ki arc ise advili da ioli mosaxerxebelia. bednierebis mosapoveblad Sroma da sikeTisaken swrafvaa saWiro da ara spekulantoba da sizarmace. es SeiZleba sasiamovno geCvenebodes, magram kmayofilebas mxolod Sroma ganiWebs.

me ar mesmis im xalxis, romelTac Sroma ar uyvarT, magram peteri arc aseTia. mas ubralod garkveuli mizani ara aqvs. Tavs sulel adamianad, araraobad Tvlis da ar hgonia, rom rames miaRwevs. sabralo biWi, misTvis ucnobia is sixaruli, rasac sxvisi gabedniereba iwvevs, magram me amas ver vaswavli. mas araferi swams. RimiliT laparakobs qristeze, gmobs RmerTs. marTalia, didi orTodoqsi arc me var, magram guli mtkiva, roca vxedav, ra martosuli, urwmuno da Ratakia.

adamianebs, romelTac religia aqvT, unda uxarodeT, radgan yvelas rodi aqvs unari iwamos zebunebrivi Zala. adamians ar unda aSinebdes sikvdilis Semdeg sasjeli. salxinebeli, samoTxe da jojoxeTi iseTi cnebebia, romelTa arsebobaSi bevrs epareba eWvi, magram miuxedavad amisa, esa Tu is religia, sul erTia romeli, WeSmariti gzidan acdenis saSualebas ar aZlevs adamians. umTavresi aq RvTis winaSe SiSi ki araa, aramed is, rom ar dasce sakuTari Rirseba da sindisi. ra kargi iqneboda, yvela adamiani dawolis win gaixsenebdes, rac mTeli dRis ganmavlobaSi moimoqmeda da awon-dawonides, ra iyo kargi da ra cudi!

Tavisda uneburad ecdebodnen dRiTi dRe ukeTesni gamxdariyvnen. am saSualebis gamoyeneba yvelas SeuZlia, radgan araferi Rirs da yvelasaTvis xelmisawvdomia. xolo vinc ar icis, unda icodes, rom `sufTa sindisi adamians Zalas matebs!~

ana
SabaTi, 8 ivlisi, 1944

Zvirfaso kiwi!

firmis mTavari warmomadgeneli, batoni b. bevervikSi iyo da xendro iSova. Camoitana daaxloebiT ocdaoTxi yuTi rogorc CvenTvis, aseve mTeli kontorisaTvis, xendro sul dasvrili iyo da qviSiT avsebuli. Cven maSinve davakonserveT rva qila da Svidi qila jemi movxarSeT. mipi xval mTeli kontorisaTvis jems moxarSavs.

pirvelis naxevarze saxlSi ucxo aRaravin iyo: quCis kari daketes da yuTebi amoitanes. peteri, mama da van daani kibeze daaboteben. anes moaqvs Tbili wyali titanidan, margo vedroebs moaTrevs, erTi sityviT, yvela saqmianobs. roca dabla, kontoris samzareuloSi Cavedi, mucelSi TiTqos raRaca Camwyda. mipi, eli, koophoisi, henki, mama, peteri — erTi sityviT, yvelas aq moeyara Tavi, ltolvilebsac da maT mfarvelebsac, da isic dRisiT-mzisiT.

quCidan veravin dagvinaxavda, radgan fanjrebze fardebia Camofarebuli, magram roca xmamaRali laparaki da karebis jaxuni mesmoda, vkankalebdi. nuTu isev vimalebiT, vkiTxe Cems Tavs. albaT, aseTi grZnoba aqvs adamians, roca kvlav dRis sinaTleze gamodis. qvabi gaivso, aba Cqara, zeviT, ojaxis danarCeni wevrebi Cvens samzareuloSi idgnen magidasTan da xendros recxavdnen. ufro mets pirSi iyridnen, vidre vedroSi. dagvWirda kidev erTi vedro da peteri isev qveda samzareuloSi Cavida. uecrad viRacam orjer dareka. peterma vedro dabla dadga. da mbrunavi karis dasaxurad zeviT amovarda. mouTmenlad vcqmutavdiT adgilze, radgan naxevrad garecxili xendro banaobas eloda, Cven ki onkani davketeT; mudam mtkiced vicavT Sinaganawess: `Tu saxlSi ucxo piria, onkani dakete, wylis xmauri saxifaToa~. pirvel saaTze movida henki da gviTxra, fostalionma darekao. peteri imwamsve Cavarda qveviT. wkrr, dareka zarma. marjvnisaken, zurgisaken! me jer mbrunav karTan gavCerdi, vinme xom ar modis-meTqi, mere ki Cumad avedi zeviT. bolos me da peteri qurdebiviT gavisuseT moajirTan da yurs vugdebdiT xmaurs, romelic qvevidan modioda. araviTari ucxo xma. peteri Cumad Cadis kibeze, da naxevar gzaze gaCerebuli iZaxis: `eli~! pasuxi ar ismis. kidev erTxel: `eli~! magram samzareuloSi iseTi xmauria, rom peteris xma ikargeba. bolos igi samzareuloSi Cadis, me ki daZabuli vdgavar kibeze da qveviT vicqirebi.

`peter, aba Cqara adi zeviT, revizori movida~, mesmis koophoisis xma. peteri oxvriT emorCileba. mbrunavi kari iketeba. oris naxevarze CvenTan amodis kraleri. o, RmerTo Cemo, yvelgan xendroa. sauzmeze xendro, henki Wams xendros, koophoisi pirs itkbarunebs xendroTi, mipi xarSavs xendros, yvelgan xendros sunia. aRar SemiZlia xendros danaxva. avdivar zeviT, magram o, RmerTo, aqac xendros recxaven.

xendros narCenebs akonserveben. saRamos ori qila ukve agviduRda. mama saswrafod xarSavs marmelads. meore diliT — kidev ori qila, dRisiT — oTxi. damnaSavea van daani, radgan qilebs sterilizacia aklia. mama yovel saRamos xarSavs marmelads. vWamT xendroian fafas, dos, purs, desertze xendro, xendro SaqriT, Saqris fxvniliT. ori dRis ganmavlobaSi yvelgan TvalSi mxvdeboda xendro, xendro, xendro... bolos maragi amoiwura, magram cxra qila kidev dgas cxraklitulSi.

— gesmis, ane, — miyviris margo, — memwvanilem, romelic aqve kuTxeSi vaWrobs, 19 girvanqa cercvi gamogvigzavna! — ra kargi kaci yofila, — vTqvi me. es marTlac kargia, magram muSaoba... oh!

— SabaTs dilidanve cercvis garCevaSi momexmarebiT, — ganacxada dedam sadilze. da marTlac, am dilis sauzmis Semdeg, magidaze cercviT savse mominanqrebuli didi Tasi gaCnda. cercvis garCeva Zalze mosawyenia, magram aba gausinje gemo cercvis Wots. bevrma ar icis, ra gemrielia Woti, gansakuTrebiT roca Txel kans Semoacli. aqvs kidev erTi didi upiratesoba, SegiZlia cercvze samjer meti SeWamo. magram `kanis Semocla~ Zalze mosawyeni da sakirkito samuSaoa. SeiZleba iseTi pedantebisaTvis, rogoric kbilis eqimebi da kontoris wvrilfexa muSakebi arian, amgvari samuSao Sesaferisia, magram CemisTana mozardi, daudegari gogonasaTvis namdvili wamebaa. daviwyeT aTis naxevarze, TerTmetis naxevarze Sevisvene. erTi saaTis Semdeg ki kvlav Sevudeqi muSaobas. sxva rom araferi, yurebi miwivis: yunwi motexe, kani fxianad gaaZre, garCeuli cercvi TasSi Caagde da ase Semdeg! Tvalebi amiWrelda, yvelgan mwvane, mwvane Wotebi, kanebi, dampali cercvi, yvelaferi mwvanea.

gamovSterdi, magram raRaca rom vakeTo, mTeli dRe yovelgvar sisuleles vroSav, yvelas vacineb da amave dros iseTi grZnoba maqvs, TiTqos mowyeniloba bolos momiRebs. yovelTvis rogorc ki cercvis kanis gaZrobas viwyeb, sul ufro vrwmundebi, rom arasodes, arasodes viqnebi marto diasaxlisi!

bolos 11 saaTze vsauzmobT, magram pirvelis naxevridan oris TxuTmet wuTamde muSaoba unda ganvagrZoT. axla ukve guli mereva, TiTqos zRvam mawyina, da ara marto me, yvelas. mZinavs oTxamde, magram Zilis Semdegac ver movsulvar gons am sazizRari cercvisagan.

ana
SabaTi, 15 ivlisi, 1944

Zvirfaso kiwi!

xelSi Cagvivarda biblioTekis wigni cnobismoyvareobis aRmZvreli saTauriT: `ras fiqrobT Tanamedrove axalgazrda qaliSvilebze?~ minda dRes am Temaze gesaubro. wignis avtori qalia. `Cveni drois axalgazrdobas~ Tavidan fexebamde akritikebs, magram mTlianad ar uaryofs da arc im daskvnamde midis, rom `arafris maqnisni arian~. piriqiT, igi im azrisaa, rom Tu axalgazrdoba moindomebs, SeuZlia axali, didi da mSvenieri samyaro Seqmnas. mas saamisod yvela monacemi aqvs, magram zerele ambebiTaa garTuli da cxovrebis WeSmarit silamazes yuradRebas ar aqcevs. me mgonia, calkeuli adgilebi piradad me mexeba. da amitom vecdebi bolomde gadagiSalo Cemi Sinagani samyaro da davicva Tavi amgvari sayvedurebisagan.



Cemi xasiaTis erT-erTi ZiriTadi Tviseba, rasac yvela Cemi nacnobi amCnevs — TviTkritikaa. Cems saqciels gverdidan vuyureb, TiTqos Cem win ucxo adamiani dgas. yovelgvari mikerZoebis, yovelgvari mogonili Tavis marTlebis gareSe vdgavar am meore anes pirispir da vakvirdebi, kargad iqceva Tu cudad. TviTdakvirveba arasdros ar mwyindeba da sakmarisia raime vTqva, rom imwamsve vfiqrob: `ara, ase ar unda yofiliyo~, anda `ase jobia, ase ufro sworia!~ xSirad me Cems Tavs bevr rameSi vamtyuneb da ufro da ufro vrwmundebi, ra marTalia mama, rodesac ambobs: `yovelma bavSvma TviTon unda aRzardos sakuTari Tavi~. sxvebs SeuZliaT mxolod rCeva an miTiTeba miscen, magram Tavisi xasiaTi adamianma TviTon, sakuTari xeliT unda Camoayalibos. amave dros me vgrZnob, rom bevri energia maqvs, Zlieri, Tavisufali, axalgazrda var da ase mgonia, yvelafris gakeTeba SemiZlia. roca yovelive es pirvelad vigrZeni, gamexarda, da ara mgonia, bedis ukuRmarTobam, romelic yvelam unda gamoscados, advilad gamtexos, Tumca amaze adrec bevri milaparakia SenTan. axla vayeneb mTavar Teziss: `dedas da mamas Cemi ar esmiT~. mSoblebi Zalian manebivrebdnen, kargad mepyrobodnen, micavdnen, erTi sityviT, akeTebdnen yvelafers, risi gakeTebac SeeZloT. miuxedavad amisa, didxans vgrZnobdi saSinel martoobas. vfiqrobdi, yvelam mimatova, Cemi aravis esmis. mama yovelnairad cdilobda daewynarebina Cemi mborgavi suli, magram unayofod. bolos me TviTon ganvkurne sakuTar Tavi imiT, rom Cemi saqcielisa da zraxvebis sapirispiro mxare davinaxe. rogor moxda, rom mamam veraviTari Semweoba ver aRmomiCina brZolaSi? ratom aRmoCnda uZluri dasaxmareblad gamowvdili xeli? imitom, rom mamam swori gza ver monaxa, mudam ise melaparakeboda, rogorc bavSvs, romelsac mxolod Tavisi bavSvuri dardi awuxebs. es sityvebi ucnaurad JRers, radgan swored mama iyo yvelaze gulaxdili CemTan, swored man Caminerga rwmena, rom me sakmaod bevri mesmis, magram erTi ram mas mainc gamorCa mxedvelobidan: ar ufiqria imaze, rom CemTvis yvelaze mniSvnelovani Cemi brZolaa, brZola imisaTvis, rom zedapirze amovtivtivebuliyavi. ar SemeZlo aseTi gamoTqmebis gagoneba: `tipuri movlenebi... sxva gogoebi... cxadia, gaivlis~... da ase Semdeg. ar mindoda mompyrobodnen ise, rogorc yvela sxva gogos. msurda ane, pirovneba, vyofiliyavi. pims es ar esmoda. saerTod ki me ver vendobi iseT adamians, romelic Tavis Tavze cotas miyveba; da radganac me pimis Sesaxeb TiTqmis araferi vici, amitom Cvens Soris namdvili siaxlove ar SeiZleba iyos. pimi cxovrebas ufrosi adamianis TvalsazrisiT uyurebs, Tumca Tavis droze masac eqneboda aseTi warmavali gatacebebi. da miuxedavad imisa, rom bevrs cdilobs, mainc ar SeuZlia ise uTanagrZnos umcross, rogorc ufrosma amxanagma, masTan erTad ganicados yvelaferi. amitom Cems Sexedulebebs, bolomde gaazrebul Teoriebs me mxolod Cems dRiurs da zogjer margos vuziareb. mamas yvelafers vumalavdi, yvelafers, rac ki mawuxebda. arasodes ar gamiziarebia misTvis Cemi idealebi, Segnebulad CamovSordi, sxvagvarad ar SemeZlo. me moviqeci ise, rogorc grZnobam mikarnaxa, moviqeci ise, rogorc Cemi sulieri simSvidisaTvis iyo saWiro. me rom vinmesTvis neba mimeca gaekritikebina es naxevrad daumTavrebeli muSaoba sakuTar Tavze, kvlav davkargavdi simSvides da Cemdami rwmenas, rac didi gaWirvebiT movipove. ra mkacradac unda JRerdes es sityvebi, me amaze pimis gulisTvisac ki ver waval, radgan pimi araTu gavriye Cemi Sinagani samyarodan, aramed Cemi TavSeukaveblobis gamo ufro da ufro veTiSebi.

es sakiTxi yvelaze ufro mawuxebs: rogor moxda, ratom maRizianebs pimi ase? ratom ar SemiZlia masTan mecadineoba, ratom meCveneba misi alersi naZaladevad, ratom mirCevnia, momeSvas manamde, sanam sakuTari Tavisadmi meti rwmena ar meqneba? me aqamde mRrRnis sircxvilis grZnoba im werilis gamo, romelic gacecxlebulma davwere da gavugzavne. o, ra Znelia yvelgan da yovelTvis Zlieri da mtkice iyo.

magram ufro didi gulacruebis mizezi sxvaa; mamaze metad peterze fiqri mawuxebs. kargad vici, rom me vipove igi da ara man me; me Sevqmeni misgan saocnebo xati, Cems warmodgenaSi igi wynari, sayvareli, mgrZnobiare ymawvili iyo, romelsac alersi da megobari enatreboda. es me mqonda moTxovnileba gadameSala guli cocxali adamianisaTvis, mWirdeboda megobari, romelic grZel gzaze mxarSi amomidgeboda; da miuxedavad siZneleebisa, mainc mivaRwie imas, rom peteri nel-nela, magram mTeli guliT momendo; xolo roca is megobrulad ganvawye Cemdami, Cvens damokidebulebaSi TavisTavad Semoipara intimi, rac axla gaugonar ambad meCveneba. Cven bevrs vlaparakobT saidumloebiT mocul sakiTxebze, magram imaze, rac gulSi mqonda da axlac maqvs, aqamde ar gvilaparakia. me jerac ar vici, rogoria peteri; iqneb morcxvobis bralia, rom CemTanac zedmetad TavSekavebulia? magram erTi Secdoma mainc davuSvi: me ar miveci mas saSualeba, sxvagvarad gamoexata Cemdami megobroba da vcdilobdi, alersiTa da sinaziT dameaxlovebina. axla ki mas siyvaruli swyuria da me vgrZnob, rom dRiTi dRe sul ufro da ufro metad vuyvarvar. misTvis isic sakmarisia, rom Cems gverdiT iyos, me ki ar masvenebs survili, kidev erTxel Cavwvde mis azrebs, Sevexo im sakiTxebs, romlebzedac ase Zlier mwadia saubari. peters arc ki esmis, rom ZaliT daviaxlove da axla orive xeliT mebRauWeba. jerjerobiT me veraviTar saSualebas ver vxedav, rom mourideblad movwyvito Cems Tavs da sakuTar fexebze davayeno. me Zalian male mivxvdi, rom peteri ver gaxdeba Cemi namdvili megobari, da vcdilobdi naWuWidan mainc gamomeyvana; mindoda egrZno sakuTari axalgazrdoba: `sinamdvileSi axalgazrda ufro martoa, vidre moxuci~. es fraza erT wignSi amovikiTxe da, me mgonia, sworia.

rogor fiqrob, marTalia is ambavi, rom aq mozrdilebs ufro uWirT, vidre mozardebs? ara, araa marTali! mozrdilebs yvelaferze aqvT Tavisi azri da ician, rogor moiqcnen cxovrebaSi. Cven ki axalgazrdebs, gacilebiT gviWirs davicvaT Cveni Sexedulebebi da isic iseT dros, roca yvela ideali ingreva da nadgurdeba, roca adamianebi yvelaze binZur Tvisebebs amJRavneben, roca yvelas eWvi epareba simarTleSi, samarTlianobaSi, RmerTis arsebobaSi!

da Tu vinme daiwyebs imis mtkicebas, TiTqos mozrdilebs ufro uWirT, vidre Cven, mozardebs, etyoba, ar esmis, rogor gvawvalebs Cven uamravi problema. SeiZleba Cven amgvari problemebisaTvis metismetad axalgazrdebi varT, magram Tavs mogvaxvies da vcdilobT rogorme gadavwyvitoT, bolos vpoulobT kidec pasuxs, magram faqtebTan dapirispirebas ver uZlebs, radgan faqtebi sul sxvagvarad gamoiyureba. ai, ra aris yvelaze Zneli Cvens droSi: Cven ar gagvaCnia idealebi, ocnebebi, naTeli imedebi da Tu gagviCnda, saSineli sinamdvile maSinve anadgurebs.

saocari ambavia, rom me jer kidev ar damikargavs yovelgvari imedi, miT umetes, rom mTeli Cemi imedebi uazro da ganuxorcielebeli meCveneba. miuxedavad amisa, me maT mainc magrad vebRauWebi, radgan jer kidev mjera, rom adamiani keTilia. me ar SemiZlia sikvdilze, ubedurebaze vifiqro da yvelaferi amaze avago. vxedav, rogor iqceva samyaro TandaTan udabnod. sul ufro axlos mesmis qariSxlis griali da Weqa-quxili, romelsac SeuZlia mogvspos, vgrZnob milionobiT adamianis tanjvas da mainc, roca cas Sevyureb, vfiqrob, rom yvelaferi ukeTesobisaken Semobrundeba, sisastikesa da daundoblobas bolo moeReba da miwaze kvlav mSvidoba da siwynare daisadgurebs.

manam ki maRla unda vataro Cemi idealebi; iqneba momavalSi ganxorcieldes kidec.

ana
paraskevi, 21 ivlisi, 1944

Zvirfaso kiwi!

isev gaiRviZa imedma, rogorc iqna, yvelaferi isev kargad midis! da mere ra kargad! gaugonari cnobebi aRwevs Cvenamde! hitlers Tavs daesxnen, da ara viRac komunisti ebraeli, aramed keTilSobili germanuli sisxlis generali, grafi da Tanac axalgazrda! hitleri `RvTis gangebam~ gadaarCina da, samwuxarod, didad samwuxarod, iolad gadarCa, mxolod ramdenime ganakawri da umniSvnelo damwvroba aRmoaCnda. misi amalis ramdenime oficeri da generali moklulia an daWrili. ai, imis damamtkicebeli sabuTi, rom bevr oficersa da generals omi yelSi amouvida da siamovnebiT gagzavnidnen hitlers mousavleTSi. misi mospobis Semdeg maT undaT daamyaron samxedro diqtatura, mokavSireebTan zavi dadon, xelaxla SeiaraRdnen da oci wlis Semdeg kvlav omi daiwyon. iqneb gangebam garkveuli mizniT daayovna hitleris sikvdili mcire xniT, radgan mokavSireebisaTvis gacilebiT mosaxerxebeli da xelsayrelia, Tu wminda sisxlis germanelebi erTmaneTs daerevian da mospoben; rusebsa da ingliselebs naklebi samuSao darCebaT da ufro adre Seudgebian TavianTi dangreuli qalaqebis aRdgenas, Tumca jer saqme aqamde ar misula. ar minda winaswar ganvWvrito brwyinvale momavali, magram Sen, albaT, gesmis, rom yvelafers, razedac me vlaparakob safuZvlad udevs TvalsaCino faqtebi, raRac iseTi, rac orive fexiT realur niadagze dgas. gamonaklisis saxiT aq aRarafers vlaparakob maRal idealebze.

garda amisa, hitlerma Tavazianoba gamoiCina da Tavis erTgul da sayvarel xalxs ganucxada: amieridan yvela samxedro piri gestapos emorCileba da yovel jariskacs ufleba eZleva dauyovnebliv daxvritos Tavisi meTauri, Tuki monawileobda am binZur da mdabal TavdasxmaSio.

icocxle, datrialdeba ambebi! hans dampfs sirbilisagan fexebi stkiva, meTaurma uyvira. hansi SaSxanas iRebs da yviris: `Sen fiureris mokvla gindoda, xom, ai, risi Rirsi xar!~ SaSxana gavarda da qedmaRali meTauri, romelmac gabeda da sabralo jariskacs uyvira, maradiuli sicocxlis samyaroSi gadasaxlda (iqneb, rogorc amboben, maradiuli sikvdilis saufloSi). saqme albaT iqamdec miva, rom batoni oficrebi SiSisagan Caisvrian da jariskacebs veRarafers gaubedaven.

yvelaferi gasagebia. Tu isev abda-ubdas gwer? ras izam, roca vfiqrob, oqtomberSi isev skolaSi vivli, imdenad bednieri var, rom dalagebulad azris gamoTqma ar SemiZlia. o, la, la, es wuTia vwerdi, ar minda winaswar ganvWvrito momavali-meTqi. nu gamijavrdebi, tyuilad xom ar meZaxian `winaaRmdegobaTa kvanZs~.

ana
samSabaTi, 1 agvisto 1944

Zvirfaso kiwi!

`winaaRmdegobaTa kvanZi~. es iyo Cemi ukanaskneli werilis ukanaskneli sityvebi da dRevandelsac am sityvebiT viwyeb. `winaaRmdegobaTa kvanZi!~ SegiZlia amixsna, ras niSnavs es gamoTqma? ras niSnavs winaaRmdegoba? am sityvasac iseve, rogorc sxva mravals, ori mniSvneloba aqvs. winaaRmdegoba meore samyaros mimarT da Sinagani winaaRmdegoba.

pirveli, Cveulebriv, imas niSnavs, rom `ar eTanxmeba sxva adamianis azrs, ggonia, yvelaferi sxvaze ukeT ici, cdilob ukanaskneli sityva Sen dagrCes!~ erTi sityviT, yvela im usiamo Tvisebas, romelTac me maweren. meores ki aravin icnobs, meore Cemi piradi saidumloebaa.

erTxel ukve giambe, rom sinamdvileSi erTi suli ki ara maqvs, aramed ori. erTSi moqceulia Cemi aulagmavi mxiaruleba, ironia, sicocxlisadmi trfiali da, rac mTavaria, yvelafrisadmi zerele damokidebuleba. igulisxmeba: ar veridebi arSiyobas, xvevnas, kocnas, orazrovan xumrobas. da es suli mudam mzadaa Seaviwroos meore, ufro wminda, Rrma, mSvenieri. magram anas am meore karg mxares aravin icnobs da amitomac xSirad ver mitanen.

marTalia, zogjer erTi saRamosTvis mxiaruli da gamrTobi takimasxara var, magram Semdeg mTeli Tvis manZilze aRaravis vWirdebi; maSasadame, igive var, rac seriozuli xalxisaTvis samijnuro filmia: mxolod gamrTobi, mcire xniT TavSesaqcevi, rasac male iviwyeben xolme.

SeiZleba es cudi araa, magram arc maincdamainc kargia. amis moyola, cxadia, ar msiamovnebs, magram ratom ar unda giTxra, roca marTalia? Cemi Tavqariani, zerele suli yovelTvis jabnis meores, ukeTess, da yovelTvis amarcxebs. Sen ver warmoidgen, ramdenjer micdia, damesustebina, mimeCqmala es ana, romelic bolos da bolos naxevaria imisa, rasac ana hqvia, magram amaod da vici ratom.

imitom, rom meSinia, vai, Tu Cemma nacnobebma, romelTac ician, rogori var, uecrad Cemi meore, gacilebiT ukeTesi da keTili buneba aRmoaCinon. meSinia, rom damcineben, sulelad da santimentalur adamianad CamTvlian, seriozulad ar momeqcevian. Tumca me miveCvie araseriozul damokidebulebas, magram amas mieCvia mxolod `zerele~ ane, mas SeuZlia amis atana, xolo meore, `seriozuli~, amisTvis metismetad sustia. da marTlac, roca kargi ana TxuTmeti wuTiT mainc gamomiTrevia scenaze, ise SekumSula, rogorc mcenare `ukadrisa~, xolo sadac laparakia saWiro, pirvel nomer anas uTmobs adgils, da sanam gamoverkveode, uCinardeba.

ase rom, pirveli ana arasdros ar eCveneba xalxs, magram, roca marto var, mTavar rols aspulebs. me zustad vici, rogori var da rogori minda viyo... sulis siRrmeSi. magram, samwuxarod, me mxolod CemTvis var aseTi da albaT amitom vTvli Cems Tavs Rrma, gulCaTxrobil adamianad, maSin rodesac sxvebs zerele da gulRia arsebad mivaCnivar. Signidan yovelTvis gzas minaTebs wminda ana, garegnulad ki mxiaruli da xtunia Tikani var.

rogorc geubnebodi, yvelafers sul sxvanairad vgrZnob, vidre gamovTqvam, amitomac Seiqmna Cemze iseTi Sexeduleba, TiTqos biWebs davdev, varSiyob, yvelaferSi cxvirs vyof, TavauReblad vkiTxulob romanebs. mxiaruli ane amis gamo icinis, ukmex pasuxebs iZleva, gulgrilad iCeCavs mxrebs. ise iqceva, TiTqos mas yvelaferi fexebze hkidia, magram vai, rom meore ana sul sxvanairad uyurebs amas. da radgan SenTan bolomde gulaxdili var, gamogitydebi, rom Zalian mawuxebs es ambavi: vcdilob Sevicvalo, ukeTesi gavxde, magram yovelTvis vebrZvi raRac iseTs, rac Cemze Zlieria.

SigniT ki yvelaferi mosTqvams: xedavs, ras miaRwie? yvelasTan gaifuWe saxeli, irgvliv mxolod gesliani an SezRuduli xalxia, aravis ar moswonxar da yvelaferi es mxolod imis bralia, rom yurs ar ugdeb kargi anas rCevas. ah, me siamovnebiT davujerebdi, magram ar gamomdis: roca seriozuli da wynari var, yvela fiqrobs, Tavs vikatuneb da mxolod xumrobiT gamovdivar am uxerxuli mdgomareobidan. ojaxis wevrebze aRarafers vambob, radgan yoveli maTgani fiqrobs, rom avad gavxdi, maCeCeben Tavis tkivilis wamals, nervebis dasawynarebel abebs, Sublsa da majas misinjaven. iqneb sicxe gaqvs, iqneb kuWi ar moqmedebs, mesmis yoveli mxridan, Semdeg ki imis gamo mlanZRaven, rom cud gunebaze var. amdenis atana aRar SemiZlia. roca ase Camacivdebian, jer namdvilad vWirveulob, Semdeg sevda mipyrobs da bolos isev Semovabruneb guls cudi mxridan gareT, kargidan ki SigniT. da vcdilob movnaxo saSualeba, romelic damexmareba gavxde iseTi, rogoric minda viyo da rogoric SeiZleba vyofiliyavi kidec!.. qveyanaze rom sxva adamianebi ar arsebobdnen.

ana
aq wydeba anas dRiuri.
bolosityvaoba
4 agvistos `mwvane policiam~ TavSesafari aRmoaCina. daapatimres yvela ltolvili, maTTan erTad kraleri da koophoisic. dapatimrebulebi germaniisa da holandiis sakoncentracio banakebSi gagzavnes.

gestapom daarbia `TavSesafari~. uwesrigod dayril Zvel wignebsa da Jurnalebs Soris mipma da elim anas dRiuri ipoves, ramdenime gverdis gamoklebiT, rac mkiTxvelisaTvis interess moklebulia, dRiuri mTlianad daibeWda.

`iatakqveSelTagan~ mxolod anas mama gadarCa. kralerma da koophoisma holandiis sakoncentracio banakSi bevri tanjva gamoiares da TavianT ojaxebs daubrundnen.

ana gardaicvala 1945 wlis martSi, bergen-belzenis sakoncentracio banakSi, holandiis ganTavisuflebamde ori TviT adre.


mTargmnelis minaweri
gamoxda xani, oto franki meored daqorwinda, SveicariaSi dasaxlda da bazelSi gardaicvala, mTargmnels wilad xvda pativi masTan da ane frankis muzeumTan amsterdamSi mimowera hqonoda.

erT-erT werilSi batoni franki mwerda, anas dRiuris TargmniT Cveni ojaxis bedi gaiziareTo. es marTlac asea.



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