Ana frankis dRiuri

— rao, Sen ginda anes saxanukod saxareba aCuqo? — hkiTxa margom gaocebiT.

— minda, magram ara... wminda nikolozis dRes ufro Sesaferia. qristes araferi aqvs saerTo xanukasTan, — upasuxa mamam.

mtversasruti gagvifuWda. amieridan yovel saRamos jagrisiT unda vwmindo xaliCa fanjrebdagmanul, Rumelisagan daxuTul, xelovnurad ganaTebul oTaxSi.

`ara, ase ar ivargebs~, gavifiqre me. da marTlac, haerSi dagubebulma mtverma dedas Tavi aatkiva, xaliCas ki WuWyi mainc ar moscilda. mama gabrazda, saxli daulagebeliao. adamianis xvedri amqveynad umadurobaa!

jerjerobiT Cxubi da kinklaoba miwynarda. mxolod duseli emduris van daanebs. qalbaton van daans duseli aseTi sityvebiT amkobs: `gamosulelebuli Zroxa~, an `beberi dekeuli~, qalbatoni ki am ucodvel, didad ganswavlul kacs, romelsac yvelaferi swyins, `Sinaberas~ da `damwnilebul berbiWas~ eZaxis.

`virma virs didyura dauZaxao!~

ana
orSabaTi, 8 noemberi, 1943 (saRamo)

Zvirfaso kiwi!

Tu ki odesme Cems werilebs erTmaneTis miyolebiT gadaikiTxav, mixvdebi, rom sxvadasxva ganwyobilebiTaa dawerili. sisulelea, rom aq, am TavSesafarSi, amdenad var damokidebuli Cems ganwyobilebaze. magram marto me ki ara, yvela asea. roca iseT wigns vkiTxulob, romelic Cemze did STabeWdilebas axdens, sanam sxvebs davenaxvebode, cota unda davmSvidde, Torem ifiqreben, Seqandao. Sen albaT SeamCnie, rogor mereva TandaTan sevdiani da damTrgunveli ganwyobileba. Tavadac ar vici, ratom, mizezi ver gamominaxavs; SeiZleba simxdalis bralia, rasac drodadro ver gavumklavdebi. am saRamos, roca eli jer kidev aq iyo, zaris mkveTri xma gaisma. me mitkaliviT gavfiTrdi, muceli amtkivda, guli amitokda, SiSisagan kinaRam movkvdi. saRamoobiT loginSi yovelgvari saSineleba melandeba. xan sapyrobileSi var martodmarto gamoketili, xan gzadabneuli davexetebi, xan Cveni TavSesafari iwvis, xanac Rame Cvens wasayvanad modian.

yovelive amas ise ganvicdi, TiTqos cxadad xdebodes da yovel wuTSi iseTi grZnoba maqvs, TiTqos raRac saSineleba mogvelis.

mipi xSirad meubneba, mSurs Tqveni, TqvenTan siwynareao. principSi SeiZleba marTalia, magram aviwydeba, rom Cven mudmiv SiSSi vcxovrobT. me verc ki warmomidgenia, rom qveyana iseTive iqneba odesme CvenTvis, rogoric iyo. Tumca xSirad vambobT: `omis Semdeg!~ magram es sityvebi ise JRers, TiTqos haerovan koSkze an iseT rameze vlaparakobdeT, rac arasodes ar iqceva sinamdviled. xolo Cveni uwindeli cxovreba, saxli, megobari gogonebi, skola, masTan dakavSirebuli sixaruli da mwuxareba, yvelaferi `adrindeli~ ise magondeba, TiTqos es viRac sxvam ganicada da ara me.

iseTi grZnoba maqvs, TiTqos Cven, rva adamiani, wvimis bnel Rrublebs Soris lurji cis naTel naglejze varT moqceuli. jerjerobiT mSvidad varT, magram Rrublebi sul ufro mWidrovdeba. sul ufro metad ikvreba wre, romelic aqamde moaxloebul safrTxes gvaSorebda. da bolos imdenad dabnelda irgvliv, rom sasowarkveTilni uSedegod vawydebiT erTmaneTs da vcdilobT Tavs vuSveloT, gaveqceT aqaurobas. Cven vxedavT, rogor ebrZvian erTmaneTs adamianebi dedamiwaze da vixedebiT zecisaken, sadac simSvide da bednierebaa. magram gzas gviRobavs sqeli, TvalSeuvali farda, romelic gadaulaxavi kedeliviT gvartyia irgvliv da roca dro mova, gagvsress. me isRa damrCenia, vevedro da vemudaro: `o, wreo, wreo, ganerTe da gaiTiSe, gagviSvi gareT!~.

ana
xuTSabaTi, 11 noemberi, 1943

xotba Cemi avtokalmisa

`in memoriam~¹ (¹ mosagonari (laT.).)
avtokalami mudam Zvirfasi ganZi iyo CemTvis. didadac vafasebdi, radgan oqros wveri hqonda da me mxolod aseTi kalmiT vwer kargad. Cemma kalmistarma xangrZlivi, saintereso cxovreba ganvlo, amitom giambob mis ambavs.

roca cxra wlis viyavi, miviReT (bambaSi SefuTnili) avtokalami, romelsac zemodan ewera `ufaso nimuSi~. es didebuli saCuqari Cemma sayvarelma bebiam gamomigzavna. igi maSin aaxenSi cxovrobda. me gripiT viyavi avad da viweqi, gareT ki Tebervlis susxiani qari qroda. tyavis wiTel budeSi Cadebuli saucxoo kalami maSinve vaCvene Cems megobrebs da nacnobebs. me, ane franki, am kalmis Rirseuli mflobeli gavxdi. roca aTi weli Semisrulda, neba damrTes, avtokalami skolaSi wameRo. maswavlebelma ki ufleba momca gakveTilebze am kalmiT mewera.

samwuxarod, momaval wels Cemi Zvirfasi ganZis saxlSi datoveba momixda, radgan meeqvse klasis damrigebeli moiTxovda, mxolod saskolo kalmebiT gvewera.

roca Tormeti wlis gavxdi da ebraelTa liceumSi gadavedi, kalmistrisaTvis axali organyofilebiani bude maCuqes (erTi fanqrisaTvis), romelsac moxdenili `elva~ Sesakravi hqonda. xolo roca cametis Sevsruldi, kalmistari TavSesafarSi wamoviRe da erTgul samsaxurs miwevda Sromasa da SenTan saubarSi. axla ToTxmetisa var da man CemTan ukanaskneli weliwadi gaatara...

paraskevs, nasadilevs Cemi oTaxidan saerTo oTaxSi gavedi. mindoda magidasTan davmjdariyavi da memuSava. magram mama da margo laTinurs swavlobdnen da Seubraleblad gamomistumres. kalmistari magidaze damrCa. ane magidis kuTxeSi unda miyuJuliyo da oxvra-vaebiT `lobio gadaerCia~, ese igi, lobios yavisferi marcvlebisTvis obi moecilebina.

eqvss rom TxuTmeti wuTi aklda, iataki gamovgave da nagavi lobios narCenebTan erTad RumelSi Sevyare. uecrad Zlieri ali avarda. me gamexarda, rom TiTqmis Camqrali cecxli kvlav gaCaRda. amasobaSi `laTinistebma~ saqme moaTaves. axla ukve SemeZlo mivjdomodi magidas da mecadineoba damewyo. magram kalami arsad Canda. yvelaferi gadavqeqe, margoc momexmara, bolos deda, mama da duselic SemogvierTdnen, magram Cemi Zvirfasi megobari ukvalod gaqra.

`iqneb lobios narCenebTan erTad RumelSi Seagde~, Tqva margom. `o, ara mgonia!~ vupasuxe me. kalmistari saRamomde veZieT, versad aRmovaCineT da bolos gadavwyviteT, rom daiwva, radgan celuloidi SesaniSnavad iwvis. Cveni varaudi gamarTlda. meore dRes mamam nacarSi kalmistris buniki ipova. oqros kalmisagan aRaraferi darCeniliyo. `etyoba, galxva da nacars Seeria~, Tqva mamam. Tumc ra saTqmelia, magram erTi ram mainc manugeSebs:

Cemma kalamma kremacia ganicada, rasac Cems Tavsac vusurvebdi momavalSi!

ana
oTxSabaTi, 17 noemberi, 1943

Zvirfaso kiwi!

katastroful mdgomareobaSi aRmovCndiT. elis ojaxSi difteria mZvinvarebs da eqvsi kviris ganmavlobaSi CvenTan ver mova! cxadia, TanavugrZnobT elis, magram Zalze usiamoa isic, rom sakvebi da momarageba mogvakldeba! batoni koophoisi isev wevs, rZisa da fafis mets verafers Wams. kraleri Zlivs arTmevs Tavs saqmes!

margom laTinur enaSi davalebebi Seasrula, instituts gaugzavna da gasworebuli ukanve miiRo. etyoba, maswavlebeli Tavaziani da Wkviani kacia. albaT uxaria, rom aseTi niWieri mowafe gauCnda. mimowera elis saxeliT warmoebs.

duseli rogorRac gamoicvala da aravin icis, ratom. daiwyo imiT, rom baton da qalbaton van daanebs xmas aRar scems. es garemoeba yvelam SevamCnieT da, radgan ramdenime dRe gagrZelda, dedam gadawyvita, dusels molaparakeboda, eTxova, ar gaemwvavebina mdgomareoba. xom ici, qalbaton van daans emarjveba, wvrilmanebze mTeli ambavi aagos. duselma ganacxada, rom pirvelad batonma van daanma ugulebelyo igi da xma ar gasca, amitom mas araviTari survili ara aqvs daarRvios dumili. guSin, 16 noembers, erTi weli Sesrulda, rac duseli CvenTan gadmosaxlda. amasTan dakavSirebiT dedas yvavilebi miarTva, xolo qalbatoni van daani, romelic yoveldRe eubneboda gadakvriT, aseT SemTxvevebSi saCuqris mirTmeva miRebuliao, uyuradRebod datova da nacvlad imisa, rom uangaro maspinZlobisaTvis madloba gadaexada, xma ar gaucia.

diliT, roca vkiTxe, mogilocoT Tu TanagrZnoba gamogicxadoT-meTqi, man mipasuxa: CemTvis yvelaferi sul erTiao. deda apirebda, mSvidobis angelozis keTilSobiluri roli Seesrulebina, magram veraferi gaawyo da yvelaferi Zveleburad darCa.

`WkuiT didi kaci iyo,

saqmeebiT ki patara!~

ana
SabaTi, 27 noemberi, 1943

Zvirfaso kiwi!

guSin saRamos, roca daZinebas vapirebdi, Tvalwin naTlad warmomidga lisi. idga Cems win dakonkili, gamxdari, ybebCacvenili. misi didi, sevdiani Tvalebi sayveduriT micqerdnen, TiTqos meubnebodnen: `ana, ratom mimatove, damexmare, mixseni am jojoxeTidan!~

me ki verafriT davexmarebi, SemiZlia mxolod Soridan vucqiro adamianebis tanjvas da sikvdils da RmerTs Sevevedro, daifaros lisi, kvlav Segvaxvedros erTmaneTs. me mgoni, gasagebia, ratom gamomecxada lisi da ara sxva vinme. me masze arasworad vmsjelobdi, bavSvurad, ar mesmoda misi wuxili. lisis Zalian uyvarda Tavisi megobari gogona da eSinoda, ar wamerTmia! rogor ganicdida albaT amas, me vici, CemTvis nacnobia es grZnoba!

zogjer gakvriT vfiqrobdi masze, magram egoizmi mZlevda da isev Cems sixarulsa da dards vubrundebodi.

ra cudad viqceodi, axla ki gafiTrebuli lisi sevdianad miyurebs mudariT savse TvalebiT... o, rom SemeZlos daxmareba!

o, RmerTo Cemo, me aq TiTqmis yvelaferi maqvs, rasac ki movisurveb, is ki muxTali bedis anabaraa mitovebuli! mas CemsaviT swamda RmerTi da yvelasaTvis sikeTe surda. ratom unda gadavrCe me, is ki sadRac Cakvdes? ra gansxvavebaa Cvens Soris? ratom dagvaSores erTmaneTs?

gulaxdilad rom giTxra, lisi ramdenime Tvea ar momgonebia, TiTqmis erTi welia, magram arc damviwyebia. ver warmomedgina, Tu iseTi gaubedurebuli iyo, rogorc momevlina.

eh, lisi, Tu oms gadaurCi, imedi maqvs, Cven gipatronebT. yvelafers gavakeTeb SenTvis, yvelafers, rac dagakeli.

magram roca daxmarebis SesaZlebloba momecema, lisi albaT cocxali aRar iqneba. netav Tu fiqrobs Cemze? netav ra grZnoba aqvs Cems mimarT?

RmerTo didebulo, mixede lisis, nu agrZnobineb, rom yvelam miatova, uTxari, rom bevrs vfiqrob masze, miyvars da mebraleba. iqneb aman Zala Sematos. ara, aRar SemiZlia amaze fiqri. mudam Tvalwin midgas misi sevdiani, Cemsken mopyrobili Tvalebi.

Rrmad gaujda lisis rwmena gulSi, Tu mxolod ufrosebma Caunerges? me es ar vici da arc arasdros mikiTxavs misTvis. lis, lis, neta SemeZlos Seni dabruneba, netav momeces saSualeba gagiziaro yvelaferi, rac maqvs. ukve gvianaa, Zalze gvianaa, veRarafers vuSveli da veRarc imas gamovasworeb, rac droze xelidan gavuSvi! magram me mas arasdros ar daviviwyeb, RmerTs Sevavedreb mudam!

ana
oTxSabaTi, 22 dekemberi 1943

Zvirfaso kiwi!

avad viyavi. gripi mqonda, amitomac ver gwerdi regularulad. avadmyofoba aq TiTqmis katastrofaa. roca xvela amivardeboda, sabnis qveS vZvrebodi da vcdilobdi Tavi Semekavebina. amis Sedegad ki xma mexliCeboda da manamde ar gamivlida, sanam Taflian rZes anda xvelebis sawinaaRmdego kvers ar momcemdnen. roca magondeba, rogor mmkurnalobdnen, Tvalebi axlac miWreldeba. oflis dena, yelze kompresebi, sveli SefuTvna, mSrali SefuTvna, cxeli sasmelebi, gaunZrevlad wola, yelSi gamovleba, yelSi amocxeba, saTburebi, cxeli sabnebi da yovel or saaTSi sicxis gazomva. Sen rogor ggonia, SeiZleba adamiani ase morCes? magram yvelaze uaresi is iyo, rom duselma eqimis roli ikisra da pomadian Tavs SiSvel mkerdze madebda: xixini Tu ismiso. jer erTi, misi Tma miRutunebda, meorec, im udavo faqtis miuxedavad, rom igi 30 wlis winaT medicinas swavlobda da eqimis wodeba miiRo, mainc merideboda. ra saqme aqvs am kacs Cems mkerdTan? Cemi Seyvarebuli xom ar aris! xolo imas, Tu ra xdeba Cems gulSi da saRia Tu ara, mainc ver gaigebs. garda amisa, jer kargad unda gamoiwmindos yurebi, radgan Cemi azriT, cota yurT aklia.

rogorc iqna movrCi! isev fexze var. erTi santimetriT gavizarde da ori girvanqa movimate. Tumca jerac fermkrTali var, magram energia momemata da muSaoba mominda.

am xnis ganmavlobaSi CvenTan axali araferi momxdara. marTla, uCveulo ambavia, erTmaneTSi yvela SesaniSnavad varT. aravin ar Cxubobs, ager naxevari welia, rac Cvens saxlSi aseTi simSvide ar yofila.

elis jer kidev ar SeuZlia CvenTan mosvla.

saSobaod yvelas daurigeben damatebiT zeTs, tkbileuls da jems purze wasacxebad. maCuqes lamazi, savsebiT Tanamedrove ornaxevarcentiani monetisagan gakeTebuli gulis qinZisTavi, romelic didebulad brwyinavs da krialebs. duselma dedas da qalbaton van daans torti miarTva, romelic misi TxovniT mipma gamoacxo. esRa aklda SromiT qancgawyvetils. mipisa da elisaTvis mec maqvs raRac Senaxuli. TiTqmis ori Tvea vagrovebdi Saqars, romelsac fafaze mosayrelad maZlevdnen da axla batoni koophoisi am Saqrisagan Saqaryinuls gaakeTebinebs.

amindi Zils gvgvris, Rumeli bolavs, saWmeli kuWze gvawveba, rasac naklebad esTetikuri bgerebi mowmobs.

TiTqos omic ar iZvris adgilidan...

ganwyobileba nulze dabalia!

ana
paraskevi, 24 dekemberi, 1943

Zvirfaso kiwi!

araerTxel miTqvams SenTvis, rom Cven aq didad varT damokidebuli Cvens ganwyobilebaze. am bolo dros gansakuTrebiT mwvaved vgrZnob Tavs. ai, Cveni mdgomareobis Sesaferisi gamoTqma: `xan zeciuri aRmafrena momicavs, xan Rrma mwuxareba~. zeciuri aRmafrena maSin momicavs, roca vfiqrob, Tu ra kargad movewyveT aq sxva ebraelebTan SedarebiT, Rrma mwuxareba ki... diax, aseTi ganwyobileba meufleba, roca mesmis, rom Cveni kedlebis miRma cxovreba Tavisi gziT midis. dRes CvenTan qalbatoni koophoisi iyo da gviambo, rom misi qaliSvili kori sportiTaa gatacebuli, megobrebTan erTad naviT seirnobs, warmodgenebSi monawileobs. Tumca me Suriani ara var, magram roca aseTi ram mesmis, udidesi survili mipyrobs, kvlav aRmovCnde megobrebs Soris, vimxiarulo sxvebTan erTad, udardelad da mxiarulad vicino! swored axla iwyeba saSobao da saaxalwlo ardadegebi, Cven ki vsxedvarT aq, rogorc gankicxulni. simarTle rom iTqvas, me arca maqvs ufleba amgvari ram mogwero. albaT, umaduri mogeCvenebi. amave dros cotaTi vaWarbeb kidec, Tumca, rac ginda, is ifiqre Cemze... ar SemiZlia, gulSi davitio yvelaferi. amitom erTxel vTqvi da axlac vimeoreb: `qaRaldi yvelafers aitans!~

roca quCidan yinvisagan loyebawiTlebuli adamiani Semodis da mis tansacmels qaris ganumeorebeli suni asdis, minda Tavze sabani wavifaro, rom gaveqce Tavisuflebaze fiqrs: `rodis, rodis gveRirseba, gavideT gareT, sufTa haerze!~

vici, damalva ar SeiZleba, piriqiT mamacurad, yoCaRad unda meWiros Tavi, magram sakuTar azrebs ver verevi, tvins miRrRnian. merwmune, roca weliwad-naxevari gamoketili xar, uaresic mogiva, dae, vcdebode, merqvas umaduri, magram grZnobebs xom versad gaeqcevi. minda vicekvo, vixtuno, davqrode velosipediT, viyo Tavisufali, vixilo qveyana, davtkbe Cemi axalgazrdobiT! magram amas mxolod Sen gwer, sxvebTan ver gamovamJRavneb. yvelam rom wuwuni movrToT da daRvremili saxiT viaroT, sanamde mivalT?

zogjer vfiqrob:

`esmis ki vinmes Seni, iqneb ise giyureben, rogorc patara gogonas, romelic mxolod garTobaze fiqrobs? SeiZleba, ar vici da verc veravis vkiTxav, radgan im wamsve avqviTindebi... raoden Svebas vigrZnobdi, erTxel mainc rom SemeZlos tiriliT guli vijero! vcdilob, ar SevimCnio es, yovelgvar Teoriebs vTxzav da mainc yoveldRe sul ufro da ufro mwvaved vgrZnob, rogor maklia namdvili deda, romelic gamigebda. amitom, rasac unda vakeTebde, rasac unda vwerde, mudam erTi fiqri mitrialebs — momavalSi Cemi SvilebisaTvis viyo iseTi deda, rogorsac CemTvis vnatrob: `dediko~, romelic yovel sityvas tragediad ar gadaaqcevs da seriozulad moekideba yvelafers, rac mis Svils aRelvebs. vgrZnob, rom azri ise ver gamovTqvi, rogorc mindoda, magram sityva `dediko~ yvelafers ambobs. ici, ra movigone! dedas rom rogorme dediko davuZaxo? xSirad veubnebi `ged~, aqedan gamodis `gediko~, ese igi damaxinjebuli `dediko~. ra siamovnebiT vityodi marTla dedikos `d~-ze maxviliT. kidev kargi, rom deda verafers xvdeba, Torem guli etkineboda.

kmara! daufaravad giTxari, rac CemSi Rrma mwuxarebas iwvevs da mgoni marTlac momeSva gulze.

ana
SabaTi, 25 dekemberi, 1943

Zvirfaso kiwi!

dRes Sobis pirveli dRea. ganuwyvetliv vfiqrob pimze, romelmac SarSan Tavisi pirveli siyvarulis ambavi miambo. maSin me misi sityvebis mniSvneloba ise ar mesmoda, rogorc axla. netav kidev erTxel melaparakos am sakiTxze, rogorme mivaxvedrebdi, rom kargad mesmis misi.

Cemi azriT, pimi maSin imitom iyo gulaxdili, rom `yvelas gulis mesaidumlea~ da zogjer masac uCndeba survili, sxvas gauziaros sakuTari gulisnadebi. pimi Cveulebriv Tavis Tavze arafers ambobs da margos albaT warmodgena ara aqvs, ramdeni ram ganucdia cxovrebaSi. sabralo pimi, ver damarwmunebs, rom yvelaferi daiviwya. aseT rames adamiani verasodes daiviwyebs. ufro TavdaWerili gaxda. minda cotaTi mainc davemsgavso mas, oRond ar minda is gadavitano, rac man gadaitana.

ane
orSabaTi, 27 dekemberi, 1943

Zvirfaso kiwi!

Cems sicocxleSi pirvelad miviRe saSobao saCuqari. Cvenma orma megobarma qalma koophoisTan da kralerTan erTad saucxoo siurprizi mogvimzades. mipma Rvezeli gamoacxo da aseTi ram waawera: `mSvidoba 1944~. elim sadRac naxevari kilo omamdeli namcxvari iSova. garda amisa, peters, margos da me TiTo boTli kefiri mogvarTves, ufrosebs ki TiTo boTli ludi. yvelaferi lamazad iyo SefuTvnili. yvela pakets Sesaferisi leqsi axlda.

Sobam swrafad gairbina.

ana
oTxSabaTi, 29 dekemberi, 1943

Zvirfaso kiwi!

guSin saRamos kvlav momeria sevda. Tvalwin bebiko da lisi warmomidgnen! bebiko, Cemi Zvirfasi bebiko! ra cudad gvesmoda misi tanjva. mas ki yovelTvis ecala CvenTvis, yvelafers xvdeboda, rac Cven gvawuxebda. maSin ukve mZime avadmyofi iyo, iqneb icoda kidec es ambavi, magram, rom ar SevewuxebineT, arafers ambobda. Cemi bebiko mudam keTili da alersiani iyo. aravin wasula misgan ise, rom rCeva, nugeSi da daxmareba ar mieRo. maSin me saSineli gaugonari viyavi, magram rac unda Camedina, yvelafers mounaxavda gamarTlebas. Cemo bebiko, marTla Zalian giyvardi Tu Senc ar gesmoda Cemi! ar vici, verafers vityvi: Tumca Cven erTad vcxovrobdiT, magram albaT mainc martoobas grZnobda. diax martoobas, radgan, Tu gverdiT iseTi aravin gyavs, visac qveyanas urCevnixar, SeiZleba bevrs uyvarde da mainc martoobas grZnobde. neta sad aris lisi, cocxalia Tu ara? ra dReSia? RmerTo daifare da dagvibrune igi! lisi, me Sens magaliTze vxedav, rogor SeiZleboda warmarTuliyo Cemi cxovreba da Cems Tavs mudam Sens adgilze vayeneb. gana amis Semdeg aqauri ambebi ase ubedurs unda mxdides, gana im wuTebis gamoklebiT, roca Senze da im adamianebze vfiqrob, romlebsac aseTive xvedri xvda wilad, madlieri, mxiaruli da kmayofili ar unda viyo?

magram mxdali da egoisti var! ratom melandeba mudam yovelgvari saSineleba, ratom vfiqrob amaze imdens, rom mzad var xmamaRla viyviro? imitom, rom CemSi araa WeSmariti rwmena! RmerTma imdeni momca, ramdenic ar damimsaxurebia, me ki yoveldRe vakeTeb raRac iseTs, rac saWiro araa.

roca axloblebze vfiqrob, Tvalze cremli madgeba. sinamdvileSi dilidan saRamomde unda vtirode. Cven mxolod erTi ram dagvrCenia: vevedroT RmerTs, iqneb saswauli moaxdinos da zog maTgans sicocxle SeunarCunos. da me vloculob, vloculob mxurvaled, mTeli guliT.

ana
kvira, 2 ianvari, 1944

Zvirfaso kiwi!

am diliT saqme araferi mqonda da Cemi dRiuri gadavikiTxe, aRmovaCine iseTi werilebi, romlebSic RvarZlianad, TiTqmis aRSfoTebiT vlaparakob dedaze. me SemeSinda da Cems Tavs vkiTxe: nuTu es Sena xar, ane, nuTu SenSia amdeni siZulvili, nuTu es SesaZlebelia?

vijeqi skamze gadaSlili rveuliT xelSi da vfiqrobdi: rogor moxda, rom CemSi amdeni RvarZli da siZulvili dagrovda. Sevecade Cavwvdomodi maSindel anes da gamemarTlebina, radgan Tu ver agixseni, risTvis wavuyene dedas amdeni braldeba, sindisi Semawuxebs. me yovelTvis viyavi da axlac var ganwyobis adamiani. mxatvrulad rom vTqvaT, xSirad im myvinTavs vgavar, romelsac wyalqveS yvelaferi damaxinjebulad eCveneba. yvelafers subieqturad vudgebodi da sul ar vcdilvar dinjad gavrkveuliyavi sxvis naTqvamSi. maSin iqneb ukeT gamego mowinaaRmdegis argumentebi da sxvagvarad moviqceodi, daviokebdi Cems ficx xasiaTs da Seuracxyofas ar mivayenebdi sxvebs.

me mxolod Cems Tavs vxedavdi, Cem TavSi Cavikete da aravis dardi ar mqonda, gwerdi Cems sixarulze, dardze, dagrovil geslze da guls vimsubuqebdi. Cemi dRiuri axla CemTvis uzomod Zvirfasia, radgan mogonebebis wignad iqca, Tumca SemiZlia bevri ram wavSalo, xazi gadavusva da qveS mivawero: `warsuls Cabarda~.

xSirad gavbrazebulvar dedaze, xandaxan axlac vbrazob. marTalia, mas Cemi ar esmis, magram, arc me mesmis misi. Cemi dedaa, nazad da kargad mepyroba, magram xSirad usiamovneba mimiyenebia misTvis da ra gasakviria, Tu gamibrazdeboda, ra gasakviria, Tu am ambavma da yvelaferma, rasac igi aq ganicdis, nervebi auSala da ficxi gaxada. me amas ver vxedavdi, Seuracxyofas vayenebdi, uxeSad veqceodi da mwuxarebas vmatebdi.

aman didi gaugebroba, didi usiamovneba gamoiwvia da orives vnebas gvayenebda, magram axla yvelaferi es warsuls Cabarda.

advili gasagebia, ratom ar mindoda arafris danaxva da sakuTar Tavs ratom vayenebdi tkivils. Cemi urCoba borotebis gadmonTxeva iyo, magram Cveulebriv pirobebSi ganvmartovdebodi da mowmeebis gareSe rogorme davZlevdi am nakls. Caviketebodi Cems oTaxSi, ramdenjerme magrad davabakunebdi fexebs da dedis zurgs ukan movioxebdi guls.

wavida is dro, roca deda Cems gamo tiroda. me ufro gonieri gavxdi da dedac cotaTi damSvidda. roca gajavrebuli var, enas kbils vaWer, dedac ase iqceva da gacilebiT ukeT vcxovrobT. me ar SemiZlia miyvardes deda ise brmad, rogorc es bavSvebs sCveviaT, CemSi raRac ewinaaRmdegeba amas, magram sindiss imiT vimSvideb, rom jobs am qaRaldze vilanZRebode, vidre dedas vuxeTqavde guls.

ana
oTxSabaTi, 5 ianvari, 1944

Zvirfaso kiwi!

dRes or rameSi unda gamogityde, rac, cxadia, did dros moiTxovs. vinmes xom unda gadavuSalo guli da jobia isev Sen, radgan vici mudam, yovelgvar viTarebaSi, dumxar. pirveli dedas exeba. Sen ici, ramdeni sayveduri miTqvams dedaze. da mainc mudam vcdilobdi alersianad movqceodi. uecrad mivxvdi, ra aklia mas Cems TvalSi. dedam TviTon gviTxra, megobrebad ufro mimaCnixarT, vidre Svilebado. amas ra jobia, magram megobari dedis magivrobas ver gaswevs. dedas unda mibaZo, idealad miiCnio. vgoneb margo am ambavs sul sxvanairad uyurebs da ver gaigebs, rasac me aq vwer, mama ki yovelTvis gaurbis am Temaze saubars. Cems warmodgenaSi deda pirvel rigSi unda iyos adamiani, romelsac Zalian didi taqti aqvs, gansakuTrebiT Cemi asakis Svilebis mimarT da ar unda iqceodes dedaCemiviT, romelic damcinis, roca vtiri, vtiri ara imitom, rom raRac mtkiva, aramed ubralod guli maqvs damZimebuli.

SeiZleba ucnaurad mogeCvenos, magram erT rames verasodes vapatieb. erTxel kbilis eqimTan damWirda wasvla. margo da deda Tan wamomyvnen da neba damrTes velosipediT memgzavra. roca eqimis kabinetidan gamovediT, maT iqve karebTan miTxres, rom qalaqSi apireben wasvlas raRacis sayidlad Tu sanaxavad. axla zustad aRar maxsovs. mec mindoda wavyolodi maT, magram velosipedi xels miSlida. guldawyvetilma tirili movrTe, maT ki sasacilod amigdes. me ise gavcecxldi, rom quCaSi orives ena gamovuyavi. viRac mdabio qals, romelmac gverdiT Camiara, SeeSinda. saxlSi velosipediT marto wavedi da kidev didxans vbRaodi.

saocaria magram, sakmarisia gavixseno, ra Zlier gavbrazdi maSin, rom tkivili, romelic dedam momayena, isev miaxldeba.

Zalian miWirs laparaki meore ambavze, romelic piradad me mexeba. guSin wavikiTxe sis haisteris statia, romelSic aRwerilia, ra mizezis gamo wiTldeba adamiani. iseTi grZnoba mqonda, TiTqos me mommarTavda. marTalia, me advilad ar vwiTldebi, magram statia zustad Cemzea dawerili. avtori ambobs, momwifebis periodSi qaliSvili ufro mSvidia, ufro Cafiqrebuli, TiTqos akvirdeba im saswauls, romelic mis sxeulSi xdeba. am bolo dros ase memarTeba mec da margosi da mSoblebis mrcxvenia. Tumca sxva mxriv margo Cemze ufro morcxvia, magram am sakiTxSi ratomRac Cemi ar erideba. me mwvaved vgrZnob garegnuli cvlilebebis saocrebas da kidev ufro metad Sinagan cvlilebebs. da radgan veravisTan milaparakia imaze, rac maRelvebs, vcdilob TviTon gaverkve.

roca `avadmyofoba~ mewyeba, — aqamde samjer mqonda, — tkivils, usiamovnebas da uxerxulobas ganvicdi, magram iseTi grZnoba maqvs, TiTqos sakuTar TavSi raRac sanukvar saidumloebas vatareb. miuxedavad siZneleebisa, siamovnebiT velodebi im dros, roca kvlav ganvicdi amas. sis haisteri ambobs, rom Cemi asakis qaliSvilebi jer kidev ar arian Tavis TavSi darwmunebulni, mxolod mogvianebiT Seicnoben sakuTari arsebobis mniSvnelobas da damoukidebeli azrebi, ideebi da Cvevebi uCndebaT. roca TavSesafarSi gadmovediT, me mxolod cameti wlisa viyavi. cxovrebaze fiqri ratomRac sxva gogonebze adre daviwye da vigrZeni, rom adamiani var, adamiani, romelic Tavs aravis daaCagvrinebs. zogjer saRamoobiT ar SemiZlia, ar Sevexo Cems mkerds da ar vigrZno, ra mSvidad, ra saimedod micems guli.

jer kidev adre, aq mosvlamde, amdagvari ram vigrZeni. erTxel megobar gogonasTan gavaTie Rame. vkiTxe, Cveni megobrobis niSnad xom ar SevexoT mkerdebiT erTmaneTs-meTqi. man uari ganacxada. me mudam msiamovnebda misi kocna da xalisiTac vakeTebdi amas. roca SiSveli qalis, magaliTad, veneras qandakebas vucqeri, eqstazi mipyrobs, misi mSveneba ise moqmedebs Cemze, rom cremls Zlivs vikaveb, ah, neta myavdes megobari gogona!