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There are no right or wrong answers. By
understanding each other’s family lives you can
gain ideas about how and why you perhaps see
marriage similarly or differently.
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THE ENGAGEMENT PERIOD
This should be seen as an opportunity for spiritual
and personal growth – a growing up time for a new
beginning.
It is time to get to know one’s own nafs better and
the nafs of one’s intended spouse, to build the
proper spiritual foundation with which to go into a
marriage.
Since nikah is also a comprehensive union involving
families as well, it is best to use the time to know
each other’s families for ultimately it is our families
who help us build and define our value systems.
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MAHR
“ ..And give the women their mahr as a gift...”
Suratun Nisa’ - 4:4
In the aqd of nikah, the husband undertakes to
present a suitable gift to his wife. It is not ‘bride
price’, nor is it a recompense for her services and
neither is it something to fall back on in future in
the case of separation or death.
The moral significance of mahr is a symbol of the
man’s respect and love for his wife. It is
recommended that the mahr be kept low.
It is a gift which must have some monetary value.
Once mahr is agreed, it becomes a debt on the
husband. The wife can specify whether she wishes
it to be paid immediately (mu’ajjal), at a later date
(muajjal) or whenever she demands it (‘indal
talab).
There are 3 types of ‘mahr’:
i)
Mahrul Sunna - This is the mahr given to
Sayyida Fatima Zahra (AS) 500 dirhams.
ii)
Mahrul Mithl - The mahr that is traditional in
the family.
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iii)
Mahrul Musamma - That which is mentioned
in nikah and agreed by the wife.
If no mahr is fixed, the marriage is valid but if at
any time the wife claims mahr she will be paid
mahrul mithl.
If a woman forgives and forsakes her claim of mahr
then the man is absolved of his debt.
However, it is recommended that the wife divide
the mahr into 3 parts to gain the maximum benefit
from it:
i) She should forgive her husband one third.
ii) Use one third as an investment in her husband’s
business.
iii) Use one third to buy honey as a cure for those
who are sick…
It is reported that a man once came to the Prophet
(SAW) complaining about his failure in business.
The Prophet (SAW) asked him if he had given his
wife her mahr. He said that he had already given it
to her. The Prophet (SAW) asked him to borrow
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the money of mahr and invest it into a business for
that money was blessed.
Similarly, a man who complained to the Prophet
(SAW) about his illness was asked by the Prophet
(SAW) to borrow the mahr money from his wife to
buy honey. It proved to be a cure for his illness.
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RECITATIONS BEFORE NIKAH (and forever
more……..)
1.
Last 4 ayat of Suratul Hashr
2.
Ya Wadudu x1000
3.
Ya Waliyyu and Ya Maaniu’ as many times as
possible
4.
Suratul Quraysh over the flowers
5.
Suratur Rahman
6.
Tasbee of Sayyida Fatima Zahra (pbuh)
7.
Ziyarat ‘Ashura
8.
Suratu Yusuf recited on water and splashed on
face.
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RUKHSATI (Before the bride leaves her parents
home)
Parents to hold her right hand and recite last part
of 28:31 seven times…..
َنْيِنِم ْلآا َنِم َكَّنِا
…….surely you are of those who are secure
Bride to recite:
ِ اِب ِتْنَمآ
I rely on Allah
ِﷲ ىَلَع ُتْلﱠكَوَت
What Allah wills,
happens
ِﷲ َشاَم
There is no power nor
strength except with
Allah
َتﱠوَق َلا َو َلاْوَھَلا
ِ اِب ﱠلاِا
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KHUTBA OF NIKAH
ْلَا
ٍلاَصْلَص ْنِم َمَدآ َقَلَخ ْيِذﱠلا ِ ِ ُدْمَح
ِراﱠخَفْلَك
All praise is for Allah who created Adam from dried
clay like that of earthen vessels,
َو
ِراَدْقِمْلا َةَلْيِلَج َءآﱠوَح ُهَتَجْوَز َقَلَخ
And He created his (Adam’s) wife Hawwa a
partner, most excellent.
ا َحَكاَنَتَف
ًقْل َخ َلاَساَنَت َو
ا
َو ٍدْيِبَع ْنِم اًرْيِثَك
ِراَر ْحَا
And hence they married, and originated the
procreation
of
the
humankind
abundantly,
including of dependants and of free people
َراَكِّذلا َو َثاَنِ ْلاا اَدَلا َوَت َو
And gave birth to females and males
َبَغَر َو ِحاَكﱠنلاِب اَنَرَمَا ْيِذﱠلا ِ ِ ُدْمَحْلا َو
ِهْيِف
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