Issue 149: july 2011

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CYC-Online July 2011  /  Issue 149

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CYC-Online July 2011  /  Issue 149

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T

he abil ity to per se -

vere in the face of

frus tra tion  is  a

trade mark of suc cess-an

abil ity that is high on the

list of self-con trol needs

for young sters. While

teach ers never pur pose -

fully try to frus trate their

stu dents,  many  ev ery day

class room  af fairs  re quire

the abil ity to man age frus -

tra tion. Wait ing for the

teacher to an swer a ques -

tion, puz zling over a math 

prob lem, and stum bling

through a read ing pas sage 

are  com mon,  ev ery day  ex pe ri ences  that

can frus trate many stu dents. To a large ex -

tent, how they han dle these frus tra tions

can make the dif fer ence be tween school

suc cess or fail ure. 

Stu dents  with  low  frus tra tion  tol er ance 

are easy to spot in any class room. They

give up eas ily and they

avoid tasks that are dif fi -

cult. The re frain “I can’t

do it” is their man tra.

Spe cial  ed u ca tors  call  this

lack of per sis tence in the

face  of  dif fi cul ties  learned

help less ness.  Con sider

these scenarios: 

Helen, age 12, is stumped 

by a word dur ing a

spell ing quiz. In stead of

think ing, she clowns

around,  pre tend ing  to

smoke her pen cil like a

cig a rette. She leaves the

rest of her paper blank. 

Mark, a fifth grader, has dif fi cul ties

cal cu lat ing  per im e ters.  His  frus tra tion 

is pain fully ob vi ous. He erases his

an swers so hard that he tears a hole

in the paper.

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CYC-Online July 2011  /  Issue 149

Teach ing  Stu dents  to

Over come  Frus tra tion

Mar tin  Henley

Abstract: Teach ing stu dents to han dle frus tra tion in the class room can break through ac a demic

road blocks  and  re duce  re lated  be hav ior  prob lems.  The  au thor  of fers  con crete  strat e gies  for

in tro duc ing  the  con cept  of  frus tra tion  to  stu dents,  re duc ing  class room  stresses,  and  in te grat ing

frus tra tion-tol er ance  tech niques  into  the  reg u lar  cur ric u lum.

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Yolanda, age 11, throws down her

read ing text in dis gust after bun gling

sev eral words while read ing aloud. 

Just as a golfer with a high hand i cap

ends up hav ing to play the most dif fi cult

shots-out of the rough and sand

trapsstudents who are hand i capped by

low frus tra tion tol er ance have to deal with 

low grades, dead-end re la tion ships, and

chronic strug gles with au thor ity fig ures.

 Those who are the least ca pa ble have

the most challenges. 

How ever, stu dents who have learned to

quit can also learn to per se vere. The so lu -

tion is to change the way they think about

them selves and to teach them the skills they

need to tol er ate and man age their frus tra -

tion.  The  Self-Con trol  Cur ric u lum  pro vides

prac ti cal  guide lines  for  teach ing  frus tra tion

tol er ance and the 19 other so cial skills that

com prise self-con trol (see Table). 

Learn ing  frus tra tion  tol er ance  be gins

with the in sight “I feel frus trated.” To

learn how to cope with the stress that ac -

com pa nies  frus tra tion,  stu dents  need  to

un der stand what is hap pen ing to them. To

their  dis ad van tage,  many  young sters  do

not even have the word “frus tra tion” in

their  vo cab u lary.  With out  a  se man tic  hook 

on which to hang their in tense and con -

fused feel ings, stu dents are un able to

fig ure out ap pro pri ate ways to man age

their angst. (Try to de scribe feel ings of

shame, grief, or dis ap point ment to a friend 

without using the words!) 

Rather than think ing through their sit u -

a tion, such young sters re sort to the

prim i tive fight-or-flight in stinct that is ge -

net i cally wired in all of us at birth. They

act with out think ing, and their ac tions are

al most  al ways  coun ter pro duc tive.  Ap a thy

(“I don’t care”), anger (“I hate read ing”),

and de spair (“I’ll never learn this”) are typ -

i cal re ac tions of a young per son who has

learned that the best way to deal with a

frus trat ing situation is avoidance. 

At taching a word to feel ings is the first

step in learn ing to deal with frus tra tion.

Within the Self-Con trol Cur ric u lum, this is

called teach ing the con cept. Dur ing the ini tial

phase of the Self-Con trol Cur ric u lum, vo -

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CYC-Online July 2011  /  Issue 149

SELF-CONTROL CURRICULUM

Im pulses  Con trol 

Man age  Sit u a tional  Lure 

Dem on strate  Pa tience 

Ver bal ize  Feel ings 

Re sist  Tempt ing  Ob jects 

Fol low School Rou tines 

Fol low  Rules 

Or ga nize  School  Ma te ri als 

Ac cept Evaluative Com ments 

Make  Class room  Tran si tions 

Man age  Group  Sit u a tions 

Main tain  Com po sure 

Ap praise Peer Pres sure 

Par tic i pate  in  Group  Ac tiv i ties 

De scribe Ef fect of Be hav ior on Oth ers 

Man age  Stress 

Adapt to New Sit u a tions 

Cope  with  Com pe ti tion 

Tol er ate  Frus tra tion 

Se lect  Ten sion-Re duc ing  Ac tiv i ties 

Solve So cial Prob lems 

Focus on Pres ent 

Learn from Past Ex pe ri ence 

An tic i pate  Con se quences 

Re solve  Con flicts 

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