Mandala Essay Draft Revision

Mandala Essay

• Draft Revision

The Basics

• 7 Paragraphs

• Intro
• Body paragraphs for each symbol
• Conclusion

• 5 sentence minimum for each paragraph

• TYPED, Double Spaced, Times New Roman

• DUE: Wed. Nov. 26

• Submit orignal + typed version

Hook the Reader

• Every essay needs a great lead.

• Character description
• Setting description
• Summary statement

Character Description

• Your mandala represents YOU so start with yourself

• EX: “I will sleep with a clear conscience. I will sleep in peace.” These two lines from Sinead O’Connor’s song titled The Emperor’s New Clothes struck a chord in me the first time I heard them as a college student. These words sum up how I want live my life, no matter how much money I acquire, or how much success I attain.

Setting Description

• Start with a place that reveals YOU.

• EX: When a guest enters my house, he/she is greeted by chili-pepper red walls that scream “Welcome.” There is no time to wait. All who enter must be ready for the excitement, challenges, or uncertainties that await. I don’t think I can ever paint this hall because that would be like painting over me.

Summary Statement

• Write a statement about YOU that makes the reader think.

• EX: I’m the dog stalker. If there’s dog to greet and pet, I’m there. No silly sidewalk gets in my way. That’s just how I am in everything I do. I never let obstacles stand in my way.

Add Imagery

• Bring your story to life.

• Add sense details

• Sight
• Sound
• Taste
• Touch
• Smell

Add Variety

• Start each sentence with a different word.

• Write verb cluster sentences

• Check that sentences have a mix of lengths.

• Count the number of words!

Transitions

• Use transition words to connect each paragraph.

• EX: First, next, however, in addition, etc.

AVOID “YOU”

• Autobiography = I

• Avoid talking to the audience – they don’t talk back.

• Change all incorrect “you” forms

• THINK: I, me, my, mine

End with a Bang

• Leave the reader thinking…

• Snapshot – leave the reader with a picture

• Dialogue – leave the reader with famous last words

• Thoughtshot– Final reflections on yourself.