Microsoft Word Elisabeth Kubler-Ross On Death And Dying doc

And my sister and I were always real close. So now they and my parents are a lot closer. You know, 
I can talk to them more and they, oh, I don't know, it's just a feeling of more closeness. 
 
STUDENT: It's deepened, enriched your relationship with your parents? 
 
PATIENT: Uh huh, and with other kids, too. 
 
STUDENT: Is this a sense of support for you during this illness? 
 
PATIENT: Yes, I don't think I could go through it now without my family and all the friends. 
 
STUDENT: They want to help you in every way possible. How about you, do you help them, too, 
in some way? 
 
PATIENT: Well, I try to ... whenever they come I try to make them feel at home and make them go 
home feeling better and things like that. 
 
STUDENT: Do you feel very depressed when you're alone? 
 
PATIENT: Yes, I kind of panic because I like people and I like to be around people and being with 
someone ...I don't know, when I'm alone all the problems come up. Sometimes you do feel more 
depressed when there's nobody there to talk to. 
 
STUDENT: Is there anything in particular that you feel when you're alone, anything that sort of 
scares you about being alone? 
 
PATIENT: No, I just get to feeling that there's nobody there and nobody to talk to. 
 
DOCTOR: Before you were sick, what kind of girl were you? Were you very outgoing or did you 
like to be alone? 
 
PATIENT: Well, I was pretty outgoing. I liked to do sporty things, go places, go to games and to a 
lot of meetings. 
 
DOCTOR: Have you ever been alone for any length of time before you were sick? 
 
PATIENT: No. 
 
STUDENT: If you had to do it over again, would you rather your parents had waited before telling 
you? 
 
PATIENT: No, I'm glad I knew right from the start. I mean I'd rather know right at the beginning 
and know that I have to die and they can face me. 
 
STUDENT: What is it that you do have to face, what's your vision of what death is like? 
 

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PATIENT: Well, I think it's wonderful because you go to your home, your other one, near to God, 
and I'm not afraid to die. 
 
DOCTOR: Do you have a visual picture of this "other home," realizing, you know, all of us have 
some fantasies about it though we never talk about it. Do you mind talking about it? 
 
PATIENT: Well, I just kind of think it's like a reunion where everybody is there and it is real nice 
and where there's someone else there-special, you know. Kind of makes the whole thing different. 
 
DOCTOR: Is there anything else you can say about it, how it feels? 
 
(P182) 
 
PATIENT: Oh, you would say you have a wonderful feeling, no more needs and just being there 
and never again alone. 
 
DOCTOR: Everything just right? 
 
PATIENT: just right, uh huh. 
 
DOCTOR: No need for food to stay strong? 
 
PATIENT: No, I don't think so. You'll have a strength within you. DOCTOR: You don't need all 
these earthly things? 
 
PATIENT: No. 
 
DOCTOR: I see. Well, how did you get this strength, all this courage to face it right from the 
beginning? You know many people have a religion, but very few at the time will just face it like 
you. Have you always been that way? 
 
PATIENT: Uh huh. 
 
DOCTOR: You never had any real deep hostile 
 
PATIENT: No. 
 
DOCTOR: Or got angry at people who weren't sick. 
 
PATIENT: No, I think I got along with my parents because they were missionaries for two years in 
S. 
 
DOCTOR: I see. 
 
PATIENT: And they've both been wonderful workers of the church. They just brought us all up in a 
Christian home and that has helped a great deal. 
 

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DOCTOR: Do you think we, as physicians, should speak to people who face a fatal illness about 
their future? Can you tell us what you would teach us if your mission was to teach us what we 
should do for other people? 
 
PATIENT: Well, a doctor will just come in and look you over and tell you "How are you today" or 
something like that, a real phoney. It just kind of makes you resent being sick because they never 
speak to you. Or they come in like they are a different kind of people. Most of the ones I know do 
that. Well, they come down and talk with me for a little while and ask me how I feel and visit with 
me. They say things about my hair and that I'm looking better. They just talk to you and then they'll 
ask you how you feel and some get into explaining things as much as they can. It's kind of hard for 
them because I'm underage and they aren't supposed to tell me anything, be 
 
cause they are supposed to tell my parents. I think that's so important to talk to a patient because if 
there's a cold feeling between the doctors you kind of dread to have them come in if he's going to 
be cold and businesslike. When he comes in and is warm and human that means a great deal. 
 
DOCTOR: Did you have a feeling of discomfort or unpleasantness about coming here and talking 
about it to us? 
 
PATIENT: No, I don't mind talking about it. 
 
STUDENT: How have the nurses handled this problem? 
 
PATIENT: Most of them have been real wonderful and talk a great deal and I know most of them 
pretty well. 
 
DOCTOR: You have the feeling that the nurses are able to handle it better than the physicians in a 
way? 
 
PATIENT: Well, yes, because they are there more and they do more than the doctors. 
 
DOCTOR: Uh huh, they just may be less uncomfortable. 
 
PATIENT: I'm sure of that. 
 
STUDENT: May I ask, has anybody in your family ever died since you grew up? 
 
PATIENT: Yes, my dad's brother, my uncle died. I went to his funeral. 
 
STUDENT: How did you feel? 
 
PATIENT: Well, I don't know. He looked kind of funny, he looked different. But, you know that's 
the first person that I'd ever seen dead. 
 
DOCTOR: How old were you? 
 
PATIENT: I'd say about twelve or thirteen. 

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