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and, if practiced universally, would result in the destruction of the family structure and of all society as we
know it.
The second approach is to suppress, and try to annihilate, the sexual drive; this approach is advocated by
ascetic religions and other-worldly philosophies, approaches which lead toward monasticism and an escape
from the world. Such advocacy of suppression of a natural appetite, or rather annihilation of its functioning,
is contrary to Allâh’s plan and purpose, and is in conflict with the course of the natural order which requires
the use of this appetite for the continuity of life.
The third approach is to regulate the satisfaction of this urge, allowing it to operate within certain limits,
neither suppressing nor giving it free rein. This is the stand of the revealed religions, which have instituted
marriage and have prohibited fornication and adultery. In particular, Islâm duly recognizes the role of the
sexual drive, facilitates its satisfaction through lawful marriage, and just as it strictly prohibits sex outside of
marriage and even what is conducive to it, it also prohibits celibacy and the shunning of women.
This is the just and intermediate position. If marriage were not permitted, the sexual instinct would not play
its role in the continuation of the human species; while if fornication and adultery were not prohibited, the
foundation of the family would be eroded. Unquestionably, it is only in the shade of a stable family that
mercy, love, affection, and the capacity to sacrifice for others develop in a human being, emotions without
which a cohesive society cannot come into being. Thus, if there had been no family system, there would
have been no society through which mankind would be able to progress toward perfection.
The Prohibition of Approaching Zina
It is not surprising that all the revealed religions (According to the Qur‘ân there has been only one true,
authentic faith, Al-Islâm. Islâm means the attainment of peace through conscientious and loving submission
to the Will and Guidance of Allâh. This was the mission of all Prophets and Messengers in human history. It
is the same fundamental faith which was revealed to Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad (peace be upon them).
The original revelations given to Moses and Jesus are no longer available in their complete, original and
unadulterated form. The Qur‘ân is the only divine revelation which was meticulously preserved in its
complete, original, and unadulterated form. As such, it is to be used as the criterion to judge the authenticity
of the present forms of previous revelations.) have prohibited fornication and adultery (zina) and have fought
against these crimes against society. Islâm, the last of the divinely revealed religions, is very strict in
prohibiting zina, for it leads to confusion of lineage, child abuse, the breaking-up of families, bitterness in
relationships, the spread of veneral diseases, and a general laxity in morals; moreover, it opens the door to
a flood of lusts and self-gratifications. Assuredly, the command of Allâh Ta‘ala, And do not come near zina;
indeed, it is an abomination and an evil way, (17:32), is just and true.
As we know, when Islâm prohibits something, it closes all the avenues of approach to it. This is achieved by
prohibiting every step and every means leading to the haram. Accordingly, whatever excites passions,
opens ways for illicit sexual relations between a man and a woman, and promotes indecency and obscenity,
is haram.
Khulwah
Islâm prohibits khulwah (Privacy or khulwah denotes a man and woman’s being alone together in a place in
which there is no fear of intrusion by anyone else, so that an opportunity exists for sexual intimacy such as
touching, kissing, embracing or even for intercourse.) between a man and a woman who are outside the
degree of a mahrem relationship. (Mahrem denotes a relationship either by marriage or by close blood ties
of such degree that marriage is permanently prohibited. With reference to a woman, a mahrem is either her
husband or any male relative with whom marriage is permanently forbidden, such as her father, grandfather,
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son, brother, uncle or nephew. For the purposes of this discussion, all other relationships will be referred to
as “non-mahrem.” (Trans.)) The reason for this is not a lack of trust in one or both of them; it is rather to
protect them from -wrong thoughts and sexual feelings which naturally arise within a man and a woman
when they are alone together without the fear of intrusion by a third person. The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said:
Whoever believes in Allâh and the Last Day must never be in privacy with woman without there being a
mahrem (of hers) with her, for otherwise Satan will be the third person (with them). (Reported by Ahmad on
the authority of ‘Amir ibn Rabi‘ah.) Allâh Ta‘ala tells the Companions of the Prophet (s.a.w.s.),...And when
you ask them (the Prophet’s wives) for anything, ask them from behind a curtain; that is purer for your hearts
and for their hearts.... (33:35) In an explanation of this verse, Imam al-Qurtabi says, “This means such
thoughts as occur to men regarding women and to women regarding men. This will remove any possibility of
suspicion and accusation, and will protect (their) honor. This command implies that no one should trust
himself to be in privacy with a non-mahrem woman; the avoidance of such situations is better for one’s purity
of heart, strength of soul, and perfection of chastity.” (Tafsir of al-Qurtabi, vol. 14, p. 228.)
The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) particularly warned women concerning khulwah with male-in-laws such as the
husband’s brother or cousin, since people are quite negligent in this regard, sometimes with disastrous
consequences. It is obvious that a relative has easier access than a stranger to a woman’s quarters,
something concerning which no one would question him. The same is true of the wife’s non-mahrem
relatives, and it is prohibited for any of them to be in khulwah with her. The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said: ‘Beware
of entering where women are.’ A man from the Ansar asked, ‘O Messenger of Allâh, what about the in-law?‘
He replied, ‘The in-law (Al-Nawawi explains, “The in-law here means a relative of the husband other than his
father and sons (who are mahrem to his wife), such as his brother, nephew, and cousins, etc., with whom
marriage would be permissible for her, if she were to be divorced or widowed.” Al-Mazari is of the opinion
that it includes the husband’s father as well. See Fath al-Bari, vol. 11, p. 344.) is death.’(Compiled by al-
Bukhâri and Muslim.) He meant that there are inherent dangers and even destruction in such privacy:
religion is destroyed if they commit sin; the wife is ruined if her husband divorces her out of jealousy; and
social relationships are torn apart if relatives become suspicious of each other.
The danger lies not merely in the possibility of sexual temptation. Itis even greater in relation to the
possibility gossip about what is private and personal between the husband and wife by those who cannot
keep secrets to themselves and relish talking about others; such talk has ruined many a marriage and
destroyed many a home. In explaining the meaning of “The in-law is death,” Ibn al-Atheer says, “It is an
Arabic figure of speech like, ‘The lion is death‘ or ‘The king is fire,‘ which means that meeting a lion is similar
to facing death and a confrontation with a king is like being in the fire. Thus privacy between an in-law and a
woman is far more dangerous than in the case of a stranger because he might persuade her to do things
against her husband’s wishes, such as asking him for things he cannot afford, nagging him, and the like.”
Looking With Desire at the Opposite Sex
What Islâm prohibits in the sphere of sex includes looking at a member of the opposite sex with desire; for
the eye is the key to the feelings, and the look is a messenger of desire, carrying the message of fornication
or adultery. A poet of ancient times has said, “All affairs begin with the sight; The raging fire a spark can
ignite, while a contemporary poet declares, “A look, then a smile, then a nod of the head, Then a talk, then a
promise, then the warmth of a bed.”
This is why Allâh Subhanahu wa Ta‘ala has commanded the believing men and the believing women alike to
lower their gaze together with His command to guard their sexual parts: Tell the believing men that they
should lower their gazes and guard their sexual organs; that is purer for them. Indeed, Allâh is well-
acquainted with what they do. And tell the believing women that they should lower their gazes and guard
their sexual organs, and not display their adornment, except that which is apparent of it; and that they should
draw their head-coverings over their bosoms, and not display their adornment except to their husbands or
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