Why? Research shows that when we take others’ perspectives, we
tend to stay within our own
frames of reference
, asking “How would
I
feel in this situation?” When we’re giving a gift, we
imagine the joy that we would experience in receiving the gifts that we’re selecting. But this isn’t the
same joy that the recipient will experience, because the recipient has a different set of preferences. In
the giver’s role, my wife loved the candlesticks she picked out. But if our friends were enamored
with those candlesticks, they would have put them on their gift registry.
*
To effectively help colleagues, people need to step outside their own frames of reference. As
George Meyer did, they need to ask, “How will
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