Temperament Traits



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Temperament Traits

This table is designed to help you look at your perception of your family’s temperament traits. Remember that your ratings reflect your own temperament and perceptions; other members of your family may use different ratings. Completing this chart may give you some insight on family personalities and relationships between family members. You may find two members that are alike and perhaps clash at times, or members who get along well because their temperaments compliment each other.



Rate each person from 1 to 10 on each trait. Use 10 when you think the person is high; 1 when you think the person is low; and somewhere in between to reflect medium, medium high, and medium low. For a more visual view, try coloring highs red, mediums yellow, and lows blue.

Names of
Family Members:

















Activity Level
















Distractibility
















Persistence
















Approach/Withdrawal
















Adaptability
















Intensity
















Regularity
















Sensory Threshold
















Mood


















Dr. Allison Rees

(250) 595-2649


Break down the temperament traits and go one by one.


Who has a child rated over 7 on this trait?
What are the challenges?
What does your child need?
How can you express the positive sides of this trait?
How do these traits play out in family dynamics considering your own traits?

Go through each trait drawing from people’s homework.



Tell Me It’s a Stage


How many of you think that your child is going through Struggle for Independence right now?

Seeing defiance, talking back, criticizing parents, pushing parents away, asking for more responsibility, space…. Mid year children may not be going through this as strongly.


What can you do to help with this process?

Don’t take the behaviour personally.

Negotiate limits and offer choices

Avoid power struggles whenever possible.


How many are seeing signs of the Fear of Independence?

Clinginess, stepping back, babyish behaviour, regression of some kind.

Listen for any signs of anxiety school refusal, older children having trouble sleeping.

Ongoing headaches, stomach aches.

Aggressive behaviour in social settings.
Caution people that if they are concerned because the behaviour seems to be getting worse and has been present for a while, they should consider getting some additional help.
What do you do to help your child feel more secure?

Accept some of the regression and allow the child to step back a bit.

Use listening and empathy to facilitate feelings.

Give them reassurance and watch your messages of anxiety or fear.

Look for triggers such as change.
How does understanding egocentric behaviours in children change your approach?

Less reactive and judgmental.

Can enjoy children more when you understand what normal is.

Use guidance and empathy training without resorting to punitive measures or

overdoing consequences.

Offering understanding preserves the self-esteem of the child.


How can you help them with their feelings.?

The Heart of Discipline

Anybody use Idle threats?


Anybody nag?

Draw framework and define kid issues this week.
Not a safety issue

Child old enough

Doesn’t affect others

Consequence isn’t devastating.


How can you still support a kid issue without over-controlling.

Go through list and ask if it is a kid issue or a family issue:

Noises in the house.

Contributing to household chores

Child’s bedroom

Child’s Clothing

Respect toward family members (what can you ignore because of age?)

Food


Safety

Illegal drugs or smoking in the house

Taking off shoes

Schoolwork


Help people understand that we are slowly passing responsibility over. Even though we support kid issues we have to watch where we cross the line. Family Issues discussed next week.


Love, Limits & Consequences

List family issues on the board:




  • things that effect other people

  • safety is an issue

  • consequences could be devastating

  • child is old enough to take responsibility

Do these family issues fall within the category of respect, safety or responsibility?




  • this helps articulate the boundary and a suitable way for teaching the limit.

  • How can you express a value behind the limit?

What kind of consequences can be used?




  • remember that sometimes an “I statement” is adequate.

  • Safety is the category that needs a consequence but in the teen years be careful of the overuse of consequences.

  • Make sure they are family issues

What defines a logical consequence?




  • planned ahead of time

  • related to the behaviour

  • given without anger

  • reasonable and fair

The Freedom of Responsibility


Given the age of your children, what chores are reasonable?

Different socio-economic backgrounds will have different expectations.

Some have housekeepers and just want their children to do homework.

Some families work long hours and require everybody to pitch in.

Stress that contributing to chores teaches children independence and fairness and gives them a sense of contributing to others.


How does this compare to your childhood?
Is it reasonable to compare our chores? Some people who did too much won’t want their child pitching in.

People who didn’t have to contribute can struggle with their role as adults.

Are you conscious of the stages that kids go through in learning to take on new responsibilities?


  • Using internet or MSN provides a really good example of slowly handing responsibility over.

  • Younger children walking to school with a friend.

  • Taking a bus.

  • Cleaning a bathroom.

Thoughts on allowance:


Remember that allowance provides a bottom line.

If kids get paid to do chores they don’t accept responsibility.

I teaches children about money management.


Taming the Triggers


Antecedent Analysis

Physical?


Temperament?
Place or Time?
Something happening before?
Maturity & Expectations?
Discipline?
Parental Attention & Behaviour?
Other considerations?


Group Leaders





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