This table is designed to help you look at your perception of your family’s temperament traits. Remember that your ratings reflect your own temperament and perceptions; other members of your family may use different ratings. Completing this chart may give you some insight on family personalities and relationships between family members. You may find two members that are alike and perhaps clash at times, or members who get along well because their temperaments compliment each other.
Rate each person from 1 to 10 on each trait. Use 10 when you think the person is high; 1 when you think the person is low; and somewhere in between to reflect medium, medium high, and medium low. For a more visual view, try coloring highs red, mediums yellow, and lows blue.
Break down the temperament traits and go one by one.
Who has a child rated over 7 on this trait?
What are the challenges?
What does your child need?
How can you express the positive sides of this trait?
How do these traits play out in family dynamics considering your own traits?
Go through each trait drawing from people’s homework.
Tell Me It’s a Stage
How many of you think that your child is going through Struggle for Independence right now?
Seeing defiance, talking back, criticizing parents, pushing parents away, asking for more responsibility, space…. Mid year children may not be going through this as strongly.
What can you do to help with this process?
Don’t take the behaviour personally.
Negotiate limits and offer choices
Avoid power struggles whenever possible.
How many are seeing signs of the Fear of Independence?
Clinginess, stepping back, babyish behaviour, regression of some kind.
Listen for any signs of anxiety school refusal, older children having trouble sleeping.
Ongoing headaches, stomach aches.
Aggressive behaviour in social settings.
Caution people that if they are concerned because the behaviour seems to be getting worse and has been present for a while, they should consider getting some additional help.
What do you do to help your child feel more secure?
Accept some of the regression and allow the child to step back a bit.
Use listening and empathy to facilitate feelings.
Give them reassurance and watch your messages of anxiety or fear.
Look for triggers such as change.
How does understanding egocentric behaviours in children change your approach?
Less reactive and judgmental.
Can enjoy children more when you understand what normal is.
Use guidance and empathy training without resorting to punitive measures or
Offering understanding preserves the self-esteem of the child.
How can you help them with their feelings.?
The Heart of Discipline
Anybody use Idle threats?
Draw framework and define kid issues this week.
Not a safety issue
Child old enough
Doesn’t affect others
Consequence isn’t devastating.
How can you still support a kid issue without over-controlling.
Go through list and ask if it is a kid issue or a family issue: