me, ‘‘I’m looking forward to getting back to normal again—but it’s a new
normal.’’ The task of rebuilding is as much a part of the grief process as
mourning the loss (Stroebe & Schut, 1999) and it is here that meaning-making
is most important. Indeed, Kumar (2005) has pointed out that finding meaning
in a loss may have more to do with a person’s response to that loss than with an
attitude to the loss itself. Dennis (2012) observed that, in focusing on meaning
in this way, Kumar ‘‘masterfully provided the transition from older to newer
perspectives’’ (p. 412). Hibberd (2013) has reviewed studies of meaning-making
in the wake of trauma and concluded that ‘‘implicit in these formulations… is
life significance, or the felt perception that some aspect of one’s life matters’’
(p. 688). To help in the process, Kumar recommended that grieving persons
pay attention to the times they feel healthy, alive, or at peace. He also
recommended considering which relationships or activities are most meaning-
ful; or if a person feels isolated, what is holding them back from making
relationships. Journaling is an excellent way to encourage such reflections and
to help give direction to a person’s life.
What therapeutic approaches work best in dealing with the nadir experience?
Those such as existential therapy are obviously geared toward meaning-
making, while Neimeyer (1999) has described narrative approaches to dealing
with grief. However, the meditation and reflection interventions I have
described are appropriate for use with any therapeutic model, even the person-
centered type of therapy I practice. Meditation and reflection can help clients
cope with loss and discover meaning in their lives: a meaning that could be as
profound as changing the world, or as simple as enjoying a sunset.
A P
ERSONAL
N
OTE
My interest in the nadir experience arose partly out of events in my own life. In
2007 I was a lecturer and campus chaplain at the University of Calgary. Two days
after Christmas that year, my wife Suzy died suddenly and unexpectedly while we
were visiting her family in northern Wisconsin. Her death was undoubtedly a
nadir event. I busied myself with preparations for her funeral, then for an
interfaith memorial service thousands of miles away in Alberta. I was surrounded
by friends and family, with tasks to do and people to talk to. It was not until ten
days later that I finally found myself alone for the first time. I experienced the
emptiness of the void, the desolation of the desert (Perls, 1959/1969). Every day
for the first few months after that I got out of bed, had breakfast, and drove to
work feeling as if I were engaged in a pointless exercise. The long walks I took
with my dog brought me no joy. I was experiencing the profound powerlessness,
sense of disintegration, and emptiness of the threshold stage. Something was
happening to me, however. What had previously been a weekly mindfulness
practice now became a daily exercise. As the shock and numbness started to wear
off, mindfulness helped me practice radical acceptance of the feelings of sadness
and anger that began to surface. Bit by bit, the feelings of acute grief lessened.
The following September I left my position as a university teacher and campus
chaplain, and returned to hospital chaplaincy. Even to me, the decision seemed
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The Journal of Transpersonal Psychology, 2014, Vol. 46, No. 1
absurd. I had interned as a chaplain in 2006, and finished my assignment with
enormous relief, deciding that hospital chaplaincy was too stressful for me ever
to do again. Now I was taking on the role of Chaplain Resident for the
Emergency, Intensive Care, and Burn Units at one of Canada’s largest
hospitals. I recognized that something had happened to me, that an increased
feeling of compassion had motivated me to take on a task I had once thought
beyond my capacity. My experience in dealing with a suicidal patient then led
to my decision to pursue a counseling career where I could use my insight and
inner wisdom. While I had undoubtedly experienced the changes in personal
well-being noted by Tedeschi and Calhoun (1996), most remarkable was my
personal transformation in terms of meaning-making, spiritual growth, inner
wisdom, and increased compassion. Today, in counseling persons who are
undergoing a nadir experience, I am alert to such positive changes in their lives
as well. Sometimes when the heart breaks, it breaks open.
C
ONCLUSION
The nadir experience (Thorne 1963) is the experience of one of the very lowest
points of life. Nonetheless, as survivors of the Herald of the Sea and Jupiter
disasters demonstrated, it can become an opportunity for personal transfor-
mation and psychological growth (Joseph, 2011; Joseph et al., 1993). Unlike
the peak experience, which brings with it a sense of oneness and integration
(Maslow, 1987), the nadir experience initially causes a sense of aloneness and
vulnerability (Kumar, 2005).
The crisis or trauma which initiates the nadir experience, the nadir event, marks a
severance from everyday life. In the aftermath of this severance stage comes a
transition period, the threshold stage, marked by a sense of disintegration,
powerlessness, and emptiness (Alcoholics Anonymous, 2002; Almaas, 1986/2000;
Dabrowski, 1976; Frankl, 1946/1959; James 1902/1997; Perls, 1959/1969). Often,
though, this stage is followed by an important change. Surprisingly, those who
suffer severe trauma are those most likely to experience positive change in their lives
(Boals et al., 2010; Lancaster et al., 2013; Tedeschi & Calhoun, 1996). Reflection
also seems to play an important role in this process (Boyraz et al., 2010).
As persons rejoin lives changed by the nadir event in the reincorporation stage,
they often experience a feeling of increased personal well-being, a sense of
meaning in their lives, a deeper spirituality, an inner wisdom, and increased
compassion (Alcoholics Anonymous, 2002; Assagioli, 1975; Berliner 1999a,
1999b; Burt & Katz, 1987; Chodron, 2001; John of the Cross 1585/1959; Joseph
et al., 2012; Muller, 1992; Tedeschi & Calhoun, 1996). Following the death of my
wife in 2007, I also experienced such positive change in my own life.
Therapists dealing with persons undergoing the nadir experience would do well
to encourage reflection (Neimeyer, 1999), although such reflection would be
oriented toward the future as well as the past (Stroebe & Schut, 1999).
Reflective writing exercises and mindfulness are valuable techniques to
encourage such reflection (Kumar, 2005). Mindfulness is also an effective
Nadir Experience
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