The Ten Times Rule: The Only Difference Between Success and Failure

Chapter 6
Assume Control for Everything

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I was going to call this chapter “Don't Be a Little Bitch” but decided to back off
a bit so as not to offend anyone. I have been trying to work this title in since I
published my last book, 
If You're Not First, You're Last
. I still love the title and
have been dying to work it in somewhere. I thought it would be perfect for this
chapter, since the purpose here is to discuss the idea that crybabies, whiners, and
victims just don't do well at attracting or creating success. It's not even that they
aren't capable; it's just that people who typically succeed are required to take big
actions—and it is impossible to take big actions if you don't take responsibility.
It is equally impossible to do something positive when you are spending your
time making excuses.
You must understand—as I've already stated countless times—that success is
not something that happens 
to
you; it's something that happens 
because
of you
and because of the actions you take. People who refuse to take responsibility
generally don't do well at taking much action and subsequently don't do well in
the game of success. Successful people accept very high levels of accountability
for creating and having success for themselves—and even for failing to do so.
Successful people hate the blame game and know that it is better to make
something happen—good 
or
bad—than to have it happen to you.
Those who suffer from victim thinking—which I roughly estimate to be about
50 percent of the population—will hate this chapter and probably picked up this
book by mistake. Anyone who uses blame as the reason why something
happened or did not happen will never accumulate real success in life and only
further his or her status as a slave on this planet. Those who give control over to
another for their success—or lack of it—will never be in control of their lives.
No game in life is truly enjoyable without first accepting control over your
understanding of the game, how you play the game, and then the outcome of the
game. People who assume the position of victim will never be secure—simply
because they elect to turn over responsibility to another party and because they
never elect to 
know
for themselves what they can do. They therefore never take
charge over their outcomes going forward, saying, “I am a little victim; bad
things happen to me often, and I cannot do anything about it.”
To get where you want to go in life, you must adopt the view that 
whatever
is
going on in your world—good, bad, or nothing—is something caused by 
you
. I
assume control over everything that happens to me, even for those things that I
appear to have no control over. Whether I am in control or not, I still elect to
claim responsibility and control so that I can do something to improve my

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situation going forward. If, for example, the electricity goes out in my
neighborhood, rather than blaming the city or the state for blackouts, I look at
what I could do differently in order not to be impacted negatively the next time
this happens. Do 
not
confuse this with some compulsive need for control; rather,
it's simply a high-level, healthy sense of responsibility and a way for me to
generate effective solutions. The reality is that I didn't have anything to do with
the lights going out; it could have been due to too many people using electricity
at the same time, heat waves, weather, an earthquake, or someone hitting a
transformer. I paid my bill as scheduled, and now I am without electricity and
heat and am unable to boil water, refrigerate food, or use my computers.
Blaming won't change any of those conditions, and because success is my duty,
obligation, and responsibility, it is a bit hard for me now to turn that over to the
state. It is kind of hard to consider yourself successful if you are without lights,
heat, or unspoiled foods.
When I assume and increase my responsibility for this situation, I will
probably come up with a solution going forward. You have probably already
thought of what it could be. This didn't just happen to me because the electricity
went out. It happened to me because I didn't have a backup generator. This
wasn't bad luck or even bad planning; it was the result of turning responsibility
over to someone else. Don't be a little bitch—get a generator. Oh, but generators
cost money! Not as much money as being without electricity for three days and
not being able to take care of your family. Once you decide to take control and
increase responsibility, you will start to find successful solutions to making your
life better!
Assume control and increase responsibility by adopting the position that you
make all things happen, even those things you have previously considered to not
be under your control. Never take the position that things just happen to you;
rather, they happen because of something you did or did not do. If you are
willing to take credit when you win, you have to take credit when you don't!
Increasing your responsibility level will inherently enhance your ability to find
solutions and create more success for yourself. Blaming someone or something
else only extends how long you will be a victim and slave. Assuming control
will cause you to start to look at what you can do to make sure negative events
don't take place so that you can improve the quality of your life and reduce the
occurrence of seemingly random unfortunate events.
Let's say that someone rear-ends me. Clearly, that person is at fault. Although I
will be upset with him or her, the last thing I want to do is assume the position of
victim. How horrible! “Look what happened to me—oh, poor me—I am a

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victim.” Would you get a business card or have a television campaign stating this
to the public as a way to garner respect and attention? Of course not! Never
claim the position of victim after deciding to create a life filled with success.
Instead, figure out how to reduce the chances of inconveniences, like people
rear-ending you, from ever happening again.
The 10X Rule refers to massive amounts of action taken persistently over time.
In order to make good things happen more often, you cannot afford to act like a
victim. Good things don't happen to victims; bad things do—quite frequently—
and all you have to do is ask them. Those who embrace the victim position will
gladly go on and on to you about how they had nothing to do with their many
bad breaks and misfortunes in life that seem to strike them time and again
throughout their lives. There are four consistent factors in the life of the victim:
(1) bad things happen to them, (2) bad things happen often, (3) they are always
involved, and (4) someone or something else is always to blame.
Successful people take the opposite stance, and you must too: Everything that
happens in your life comes as a result of your own responsibility, not merely
some outside force. This will prompt you to start looking for ways to move
beyond the situation and take control of not having bad things “happen” to you
in the future. Begin to ask yourself after every unpleasant encounter or event,
“What can I do to reduce my chances of it happening again—or even ensure that
it doesn't happen again?” Returning to my earlier example of being rear-ended:
There are so many ways you might have prevented yourself from having a
distracted driver run into the back of your car. You could have gotten a driver,
left earlier or later, closed the deal last week, taken a different route—or been so
important that your clients would have driven to you rather than you to them.
Let me try to get you to shift your thinking just a bit more before I move on.
Many people agree with the notion that you draw or attract into your life the
things—and people—to which you pay the most attention. Many may also agree
that they have tapped into only a small portion of their understanding and mental
capability. Is there any possibility, then, that you made some decision that you
might not have even be aware of sometime prior to your appointment to, in a
sense, create this supposed accident so that you could continue to have
something to blame for your life? If it is even remotely possible, it is worth
investigating! Understand that you had to be at that one place at that perfect
moment in order to be in the accident. Thousands of other people were not
involved—you were. You left at the precise time to coordinate with someone on
one of a hundred streets and then arranged to be at that exact spot, at that precise
moment, and positioned yourself directly in front of that one special driver who

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was not paying attention and rammed into your car. When bad things happen to
good people, I assure you that the good people had more to do with it than they
take responsibility for.
Had you left just moments earlier, you could have avoided the supposed
accident. Had you been driving at any other speed, it would have been
impossible for you to have coordinated so perfectly. Had you taken any other
street, it would not have happened. Sound too far out there? Was it just an
accident and just bad luck? Maybe you are just a victim, destined to a life of bad
luck and misfortune. When the physical universe keeps slapping you around and
it's not getting any better, you may want to consider that things happen not just
by luck and happenstance but that you have