Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others

more special than any other?”
Suggestions for How to Use This Question
“What made this day more special than any
other?”
This is an extraordinary question to ask over dinner, when entertaining friends at a
cocktail hour, or with the family at the close of the day. The responses are almost
always positive. People stretch to think of all the good things that have transpired. What

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makes this reaction special is that when joy overflows their cup, it tends to spill over
onto everyone else.
Should the day's tidings be negative—and this doesn't happen often—just be aware
that there are no rainbows without a cloud or a storm. Tomorrow will be a better day.In
either case, the question leads to revealing discourse.
When to use the question
At the end of any day, when you are talking to just about anyone!
When someone has come back from a trip, adventure, or outing.
Alternative versions of the question
“Would you tell me about your day?”
“What happened today that made you smile? Did anything make you frown?”
Follow-up questions
“Why was that particularly special for you?”

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31
Never Too Late
“This was a tough one,” Roger explains to me. “I wasn't sure how to handle
it.”
“Tough? How?” I ask. I am amazed. “I've never seen you intimidated by
meeting anyone. I can't imagine you being at a loss for words.”
I want to hear more. Roger is one of the most confident, intelligent, and
savvy consultants I have ever met. And he is no ordinary consultant.
After graduating as a Baker Scholar from Harvard Business School, he
worked for 15 years at one of the most prestigious consulting firms in the
world. Then, he left to be CEO of a large division of a Fortune 100
company. After five years of honing his leadership skills in the corporate
world, he returned to his consulting firm, where he is now a senior partner.
Roger possesses a rare blend of relationship skills and analytical rigor.
When he works with clients, he doesn't demonstrate the “sometimes wrong
but never in doubt” confidence that some consultants flaunt. Rather, he
exemplifies the “I know what it's like to walk in your shoes” understanding
and empathy that only comes with 30 years of experience.
“So tell me the story. What happened?” I ask. Roger sits back, and takes
another sip of coffee. I lean forward in my chair, pen and notepad in hand.
“A company engages us for a major strategy development project. It is
very high profile work. We are three months into the engagement, and I
have a meeting coming up with the CEO.
“I have met him several times before, but they were just brief discussions.
This time we will be one-on-one, and I will have ample time.”
“This sounds like a great setup. Go on!”
“You have to understand who this man is. He's an intimidating figure, six
foot eight inches tall with striking blue eyes the color of a robin's egg. He
has an encyclopedic memory. He never forgets a conversation or anything

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he reads. I've never met an executive who has such a complete command of
his company's operations.”
(I'm thinking, I'm glad it was Roger and not me. This is like General
Robert E. Lee meeting Field Marshall Bernard Montgomery to discuss
battle strategies).
“He was raised in an orphanage. Blessed with a sharp intellect and a
powerful work ethic. He went to an Ivy League college and graduated
summa cum laude. He worked his way up from an entry-level job at a
manufacturing plant to become chairman and chief executive officer. Now,
he is just a few years away from retirement.
“The problem is. . .I am struggling to come up with something truly
compelling to say to this CEO. What intelligent statement can I make or
insightful piece of information can I furnish that will demonstrate I am a
worthy advisor to his company?
“After thinking about it for days, I realize that nothing I can tell him from
our strategic analysis will be stunning or original. We are doing great work,
and have lots of interesting findings. But I don't feel that part of our
conversation will truly stand out.
“I decide I need to ask him a compelling question. But what can I ask him
that won't come across as contrived—or at best, something he hasn't already
heard from 10 other people?”
“So, what did you come up with?”
“Sometimes the best questions are simple, direct, and help you connect on
a personal level. So, my briefing on the project ends. The small talk begins
to die down. I take a deep breath. Then I say to the CEO:
“‘William, I'd like to ask you something.’
“‘Of course, go ahead,’ he replies.
“‘You've had an extraordinary career. You have accomplished so much,
starting at the very first rung of the ladder, on the manufacturing floor. I'm
guessing you've lost count of your many well-deserved awards and
accolades.’
“The CEO smiles. I think I have touched the right button. He gives me
begrudging acknowledgment and nods his head.
“‘As you look ahead—is there something else you'd like to accomplish?
Is there a dream you've yet to fulfill?’

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“He pauses, looks straight at me. His eyes pierce me through. He
becomes lost in thought for a few seconds. Then he slowly replies, ‘You
know, Roger, over many years I've collaborated closely with my board of
directors. I've worked with lots of investment bankers and consultants, and
with several large foundations I am engaged with. I've been involved with
all sorts of smart and successful people. But no one has ever asked me that.
Nobody ever asked me that question. Nobody.’
“The room is still. ‘Yes, I do have something in mind.. . .’ he begins.
“Our meeting, which is due to end at noon sharp, ends up taking another
half hour—an eternity on a CEO's tight schedule. More importantly, our
relationship, which is strong to this day, really begins to develop after I ask
that question.”
I'm dying to hear what Roger's client tells him. But it has to wait.
“Now, the actual substance of what he wants to do after he steps down as
CEO is also fascinating,” Roger continues, “but it's not actually the main
point of this story. This story is about the question—about asking someone,
at just the right moment, ‘Is there something else you'd like to accomplish?’
It's about connecting with their dreams.”
Compliment a client, colleague, or friend on their achievements. But
don't stop there. Draw out their deepest, most heartfelt aspirations.
Ask: “Is there something else you'd like to accomplish? Is there a