Aa history Lovers 2004 moderators Nancy Olson and Glenn F. Chesnut page

sobriety as evidence of the wisdom and the right to the authority of the

founder or old-timer. We now know that sobriety does not mean that the

alcoholic has learned how to control the ego and is now qualified as a

trusted servant of A.A.

In 1950, I attended the first International A.A. Convention in Cleveland.

This was a wonderful thing and a wonderful time. Everyone was excited about

everything - especially getting to see and hear Bill and Dr. Bob. I was

deeply affected by what was obviously Dr. Bob's last talk. I was scheduled

to speak at the Chicago open meeting the next week, so I attempted to

enhance my prestige by being the messenger to bring back the co-founder's

last words. I misquoted him as saying, "Keep It Simple!" I completely missed

what he was actually saying about "Love and Service." I sincerely and deeply

regret this. There is no solace in the fact that many others did the same

thing. The slogan, "Keep It Simple" has become a permanent A.A. cop-out. But

Dr. Bob did not say it.

What he did say was, "There are two or three things that flashed into my

mind on which it would be fitting to lay a little emphasis. One is the

simplicity of our Program. Let's not louse it all up with Freudian complexes

and things that are interesting to the scientific mind, but have very little

to do with our actual A.A. work. Our Twelve Steps, when simmered down to the

last, resolve themselves into the words 'Love and 'Service.' We understand

what love is, and we understand what service is. So let's bear those two

things in mind."

On Sunday morning the Spiritual Meeting was held. I was excited by the

prospect that I was going to rub elbows with the real heavy hitters in the

God department. I do not remember the name of the main speaker but his topic

dealt with the idea that the alcoholic was to be the instrument that God

would use to regenerate and save the world. He expounded on the idea that

alcoholics were God's Chosen People and was starting to talk about 'The

Third Covenant," when he was interrupted by shouted objections from the back

of the room.

The objector, who turned out to be a small Catholic priest, would not be

hushed up. There was chaos and embarrassment as the meeting was adjourned. I

was upset and was in full sympathy with the poor speaker. I did not realize

it at the time, but I had seen Father Pfau in action and Father Pfau was

right. I had heard the Group Conscience and I rejected it. The format for an

A.A. meeting was much simpler than it is now.

Most of the meetings were in homes. The host conducted the meeting, and

opened the meeting with a quiet time. Then the topic was introduced (usually

a Step), it was discussed and the meeting was closed with the Lord's Prayer.

There were no introductory readings and no identification (My name is Jack

S. and I am an alcoholic) whenever you spoke. If you had the meeting, you

were expected to have a prepared topic. You did not ask, "does anyone have a

problem?" hoping to fluff off the fat that you did not prepare-anything. The

quality of the program worked by those who were really trying was about the

same as it is now. But we had some extra things going for us. In the early

days we were closer to the source. I was fortunate enough to be able to talk

to the two people who had actually had a spiritual "experience." I think

that hearing a second-hand account of Bill's experience in Towns Hospital

was a turning point in my life. This was told to me by a close friend and

sponsoree of Bill's who had finally had an experience of his own. This kind

of contact was available to me. I was able to talk to Bill on the telephone

for over an hour. I went on one of Father Pfau's retreats. It was a time of

great opportunity. There was a special feeling in being part of something

important that was happening. A.A. was beginning its rapid growth and one

had the feeling of the Power that was behind the whole thing.

Our attitudes about the program were different and this was due to several

causes. We did not know just how the program would work for people who were

not sure they were alcoholic. It was often suggested to a prospect that they

do more drinking, to be sure that they were ready. The prospects were lower

bottom than they are now. They were handled differently, Twelfth Step calls

were to tell your stories, to explain the A.A. program, give the prospect a

chance to back out and finally to make a commitment. A prospect who regarded

their situation as a temporary embarrassment or that they were the innocent

victim of circumstance was discouraged. I think that there is a difference

in how many are really trying.

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++++Message 1882. . . . . . . . . . . . Bill'' Story

From: robert . . . . . . . . . . . . 6/23/2004 1:01:00 AM

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HI i'm Robert, theres a little poem in bills story maybe spmeone has

herd of it i'm sure poeple have

Here lies a Hampshire Grenadiar

who caught his death

drinking cold small beer.

A good soldier ne'er forgot

wheather he dieth by musket

or by pot

well what i'm wondering is what that last part means or what the

whole thing means i can understand most of it. just that last part

any info. on this would be helpful thanx Robert D

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++++Message 1883. . . . . . . . . . . . "God Calling" & Oxford group

From: gentle_bear . . . . . . . . . . . . 6/23/2004 7:46:00 AM

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http://www.equip.org/free/DG100.htm

"It would appear that even the book's title originated from the Oxford

Group. Walter Clark observes: "Expressions such as `God calling'....can be

found on nearly every page of the volume of his [i.e., Oxford Group founder

Frank Buchman's] collected speech-es" (p.108). We must also remember that

Russell edited God Calling for publication."

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++++Message 1884. . . . . . . . . . . . RE: Bill'' Story

From: J. Lobdell . . . . . . . . . . . . 6/23/2004 6:36:00 AM

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"Or by pot" in this context means "or by drink" -- soldiers who got drunk to

fight were called "pot valiant" -- I believe the word refers to a "pot" of

punch and one XVIIth Century punch recipe is roughly (in modern form) "Take

two bottles of whiskey, a bottle of rum, half a pint of peach brandy, mix,

add sugar and the juice of fresh lemons, and leave to ferment to itself in a

dark place for a couple of weeks, bring out, and serve." (South River Club

punch 1695) A potent pot, I think. -- Jared Lobdell

>From: "robert"

>Reply-To: [e-mail]

>To: [e-mail]

>Subject: [AAHistoryLovers] Bill' Story

>Date: Wed, 23 Jun 2004 06:01:09 -0000

>

>HI i'm Robert, theres a little poem in bills story maybe spmeone has

>herd of it i'm sure poeple have

> Here lies a Hampshire Grenadiar

> who caught his death

> drinking cold small beer.

> A good soldier ne'er forgot

> wheather he dieth by musket

> or by pot

>well what i'm wondering is what that last part means or what the

>whole thing means i can understand most of it. just that last part

>any info. on this would be helpful thanx Robert D

>

>

>

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++++Message 1885. . . . . . . . . . . . Re: Tex B. (Sober 2/6/47)

From: Glenn Brown . . . . . . . . . . . . 6/23/2004 5:27:00 PM

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Dear Group...I don't know where Bill Lash got Tex's article...It's not

important...But to continue where his writings left off, Tex had a full and

fulfilling life before he passed on October 6, 2000. He was active in his

Tuesday Night Whiskey Creek Group in West

Chicago, Illinois for many years. Some time around 1970 he realized that he

was putting too much time in his AA activities and scaled back; he even

stopped going to meetings for a while, but found that his home life was

filled with problems which no amount of praying and counseling with his

minister could solve. He and his wife (a strong Al-Anon) finally divorced.

Like so many of us who go through stressful times in our lives, he turned

back to getting active in service work, which is where I met him. I was a

GSR at the time, and when our District decided to split he and I were on one

of the committees which traveled to a number of our groups to determine

their group conscience on the subject. Later (much later) after I was

divorced, our relationship was rekindled through a Saturday night open

meeting. We were married in 1984.

Since service work was so important to both of us, I continued to a position

in the Area. He went to the Committee meetings with me, and in 1989 he was

tapped to be Editor of our Area Newsletter Concepts. As you can see from the

article which you quoted, he was an excellent and exciting writer. Concepts

( I always disagreed with the name of our newsletter but lost every time it

was brought up for a vote to change it) was published quarterly. Each

quarter he would write at least two pretty good size articles on something

that was both pertinent to present day AA and always talking about the

spiritual nature of our program. He gave many slight digs to our trends

toward excessive psychiatric or (as he called it) "psychobabble" comments in

our meetings. His reliance on a Higher Power showed through in all his

writings and his humility was also in evidence.

We both continued in Area service, he as Editor for 12 years and I as

chairman of many committees. After he died I found that my friends in AA

were the backbone of my life. Since he dropped dead of a heart attack his

death was a great shock. My friends helped me through my grief by continuing

to elect me to Area service positions which, along with my regular group

meetings, keep my life full and fulfilling. I thank my Higher Power almost

daily that I had the privilege to be happily married to Tex for 17 years. He

was a wonderful man.

Barb Brown

P.S. Nancy, I don't know if you want to publish this or not, but I was

compelled to write after I saw Bill's use of Tex's article.

"Lash, William (Bill)" wrote:

We celebrate the life and sobriety of Tex B., who sadly passed away after

this article was submitted for publication.

I came into A.A. February 6, 1947 in Skokie, Illinois. I made a telephone

call to a friend who I knew was in A.A. and she came to my apartment and

attempted to tell me about Alcoholics Anonymous. I was drinking and passed

out in the middle of the call. I don't remember taking my last drink.

When I woke up, Jo and her husband, Bill, were waiting. They were old

drinking companions of mine, but now were in A.A. We did not spend much

time on my qualifications as an alcoholic, as this was not in dispute.

However, Bill did talk about the nature of alcoholism, that there was no

cure, and that I might die an alcoholic. The question was...soon? Or

sometime later, sober. Was I willing to do anything to be able to stop my

drinking? I thought that this was a rhetorical question but he was

insistent, "Are you willing to do anything to stop drinking?" After I gave

a shaky, "Yes," he read the Twelve Steps to me.

Back in our drinking days Bill and I had had several boozy discussions of

our atheism. But now he was talking about a Higher Power and God. I

objected. He didn't give an inch, "This is what we talk about in A.A., and

we are not going to change it because you don't like hearing about God.

You said that you were willing to do anything to stop drinking...I am

asking you to keep an open mind about this. I am not asking you to believe

in God, just keep an open mind and respect the fact that some of us do

believe. He was willing to risk driving me away from A.A. rather than deny

or conceal that A.A. was a spiritual program.

We talked about the strength of the commitment I was willing to make to

the program. He reminded me how much I had put into my drinking, that

after I took the first drink my commitment was total (I went on long

violent sprees). The strength of my commitment to A.A. should equal or

exceed the strength of the insanity of starting to drink again. After I

managed to eat a bowl of soup, they left some pamphlets and went home. I

read, "20 Questions" (19-yes, 1-no) and "So You Can't Stop Drinking?"

(three times).

The next night they took me to the home of Bill W. in Mount Prospect and I

heard his story and we talked about working the program. I was loaned a

copy of the Big Book to read. I first read the book by laying face down on

a studio couch with the book on the floor. I shook too much to hold it.

Then we met at Bill and Jo's house, where we talked about the Steps. It

was decided that I should start working on the Fourth Step because I

couldn't/wouldn't work on Two and Three. On the third night, I was taken

to a meeting. This was done only after I was sober, had the program

explained to me, had made a commitment to a serious effort and they had

made a judgment that I really did intend to quit drinking. I think that

they felt that if I only had one chance to make it in A.A., they didn't

want me to waste it by coming in too soon.

At the meeting, they talked about me just like I was not there. "He can't

make it, he's too young (29)... You have to be at least 40. He can't have

suffered enough." And so on; they really believed that I was too young to

get sober in A.A. They wanted me to stay. They hoped I could stay sober

but didn't think it would work out. I got mad and this was a blessing. I

stayed.

In the suburbs, the meetings were held in homes, usually on Thursday

night. Refreshments were served after the meeting. In some groups (i.e.

Glenview) the spread was lavish, often by those who could least afford it.

A few members got drunk over this. Skokie tended to be prudent.

On Tuesday night, I was taken downtown to the Chicago Open Meeting. This

was in the auditorium of the Olympic Building, 80 W. Randolph. We went

early to attend the beginners meeting. When we came out the auditorium was

full, 1500-2000 people! It was exciting to see this many alcoholics all at

once. I had seen 20 at a group meeting...but 2000! It was a very emotional

time for me. I knew that I never had to be alone again. One reason that

this meeting was so large was that there were no other open meetings in

the Chicago area. I asked why and was told that it was not permitted. I

didn't question this for several years.

Home group meetings were usually eight to twelve people (what you could

get in a living room). The host was responsible for the topic and

refreshments. When a group got too big for a living room, the group was

split. The group secretary was the treasurer, kept contact with the

Chicago Central Office and assigned the Twelfth Step calls. Sometimes they

assigned sponsors, who were expected to know why someone had missed a

meeting and so on. Sponsorship was formal; the two members making the

first call became the new member's sponsors; if for some reason this

wouldn't work, the secretary assigned someone else.

Sponsorship was serious. The sponsor explained the Steps and gave advice

on how to work a Step. He was expected to know what Step the sponsoree was

working on, to know what problems he was having and to help if he could.

The sponsoree was expected to be honest and open, and to tell the sponsor

what was happening in his life.

Groups were fewer than now, so the members were closer and more dependent

on each other and the group. Often one member would call another just to

see if they were still there (of course, you didn't say so). Maybe we were

not too sure that this thing was really going to work. Two of the effects

of this were strong resentments between members (cabin fever), and the

emergence (sometimes) of the group strong man or group Fuhrer.

Resentment is the number one offender. It often seemed that the biggest

problem we had was resentment of other A.A.s. These resentments were very

intense, just why I am not sure. It had something to do with the closeness

of the group, relationships; we mirrored each other's faults. My foibles

were monstrous and gross in someone else. Because we were A.A.s I expected

a much higher standard of behavior from them (and myself), and I was

angry. It seemed that it was very important that we all have the same

interpretation of the program. We had heated arguments over minor points

of doctrine. Because we didn't know how A.A. was keeping people sober, we

were, very touchy about anybody with new or different ideas. I suppose we

had a gut feeling that they were messing around with the foundations of

our sobriety.

Sometimes the group was like a pressure cooker. The same old stories and

attitudes, week after week. Group pride and loyalty were high. There was

fear of leaving the group just because you couldn't stand someone. You

would not be welcomed with open arms at another group if they suspected

that you were having trouble in your own group. We learned about

resentments fast. Emmet Fox's, Sermon on the Mount was as popular as the

Big Book. Few people drank over these resentments, the program was

supposed to fix things. It usually did. We prayed for each other - alot.

The group strong man was like a tribal chieftain who saw to the affairs of

"his group." Often he was the oldest member, was retired or could devote a

lot of time to his chosen task. If he was benign he was the Sponsor and

told everyone what to do and how to do it. If this included personal

service the job was a killer. One of these living saints worked tirelessly

managing the affairs of a large flock of pigeons. One night he died in his

sleep. Fifteen of them got drunk.

Another also worked tirelessly, but with A.A. women, always accompanied by

his nonalcoholic wife. This was thought to be a great thing until people

began to realize that none of the ladies were staying sober. It later

developed that he blamed his wife for the loss of a key promotion before

he retired. She spent too much money and ruined his credit (this was in

addition to his booze bills). He was angry and blamed all women. A

different kind of 13 Step work!

One man hung around the Chicago office contributing both time and money.

"C" did a lot of good work, but he also took most of the Twelfth Step

calls west of Oak Park for his group. "C" controlled this group

absolutely. After a couple of years sobriety in the Skokie Group, I

attended a meeting of "C's" group. "C" sat in state, with his lieutenants

on each side, and the attendance was taken. Someone gave a report on each

missing member. One poor wretch, a local barber, was banished because he

had questioned "C's" wisdom and authority. Members were forbidden to speak

to him or have any contact of any kind. It was a speaker meeting so I did

not have much of a chance to sample the quality of their brand of A.A.,

but I was not impressed. I never went back.

There were two other groups in the area, "S's group" and "the Colonel's

group." Groups had the name of their leader. I went to "S's" group; they

invited me to join and would take a vote to see if my A.A. wife could join

too. Again, I never went back. The "Colonel's group" had two women, so we

went there. It was the best choice, several A.A.s with good sobriety moved

in and we had a good group after a few skirmishes to redefine the

authority.

"C's and S's groups" did not acknowledge any other groups in the area.

Members of "C's group" were scattered throughout the area because of "C"

taking all of the Twelfth Step calls, and these people were not told that

there was a local A.A. group. When they did find out they were told not to

associate with any of us. For years after "C's" death they kept apart,

until the group just disappeared.

The most absolute of the A.A. "bosses" was "J," the founder of the A.A.

group in a nearby city. "J" started and nursed the A.A. group. It was

successful and as it grew rapidly someone would suggest a split. "J" would

assemble the group and give his "Fellows, you can't do this to me" speech;

then he would break down and cry .He earned the name of "Crying J." He was

successful in preventing any other groups from being established. "J" had

good relations with the local police. As a result, one group of dissidents

who held their first meeting in a church basement, came out and found

parking tickets on every car. Others were denounced as not "real A.A." and

meeting places were denied. Gossip was used as a weapon, one group was

described to me as "Black A.A., the women and slippers." Serious A.A's

went to meetings in nearby towns or moved. The founder and

his friends hindered the growth of A.A. in this city for two decades. "J"

died a few years ago; there are about 20 groups in his city now.

In the beginnings of A.A., these things were possible because we were few