Dirty Potter and Waldfield’s Historic Meeting

Dirty Potter and Waldfield’s Historic Meeting

by Waldfield

In 1842, Edgar Allen Poe met Charles Dickens. In 1970, Elvis Presley met President Nixon. . On December 23, 2009, YTP editors Waldfield and DirtyPotterOfficial continued this tradition by arranging an IRL meeting themselves.
The location: a hamburger restaurant (the symbolic significance of this will be apparent to anyone familiar with Dirty Potter 3).
(To those who are wondering why over a month passed before the article about it was actually published anywhere — it’s because RabbitSnore, from youchewpoop.com, is a butt.)
I. Who’s Who




Waldfield’s most famous works are Very Uncensored Winnie the Pooh and Sonic’s Hot, Sticky Fluids, the latter of which spawned a certifiable fad. (Unfortunately, YouTube is not allowing either of the two to remain on Waldfield’s own account.) Other popular videos of his include Very Uncensored Sonic, episode 3 and Wicker Man’s Fifth Symphony.
Waldfield has also been a contributor in the past to the YCP News Page, the creator of his own zine, and a vocal figure in the movement for advancing YouTube Poop as an art form. At his height on his original account, before it was suspended, he had over 2,000 subscribers. He won first place in PimpsAhoy’s last ever Top 10 Moments list, beating out KroboProductions and Deepercutt among others. Also, Walrusguy listed Waldfield as one of his favorite poopers. Waldfield has retired from making Poops as of last April.
DirtyPotterOfficial (DPO from here on) is thought of by many as the best word splicer not only in all of YouTube Poop but in all of YouTube period. His work has been featured in no less prominent a place than the nationally broadcast radio show Opie & Anthony. Recently swearing a vendetta against YouTube for their biased, hypocritical, and unjust censorship rules, he has taken his series off of YouTube and instead uploaded it to his own website, DirtyPotter.com.
Aside from the three Dirty Potter edits (totaling over half an hour combined), he has also made a Peter Pan audio book edit and is currently working on one with a Winnie the Pooh audio book (both narrated by Jim Dale).
II. Before the Meeting

Months ago, on the Dirty Potter Forums, DPO made a post titled “Hamburger Restaurants?” (a reference to a line in Dirty Potter 3). In it, he posed the question, What are everyone’s favorite hamburger restaurants? He then wrote, As someone who lives in the DC Metro area, mine is Five Guys.

Upon seeing this, I did a quadruple take. I also live in the DC Metro area. I immediately PMd him with my revelation.
Before long, we are arranging a place and time to meet, and sending each other photos so we would know who to look for once we were there. I remember feeling very nervous while waiting to see his photo. I started to conjure images of every gamer nerd stereotype possible. I’m expecting him to be some overweight, sweaty, thick-spectacled, acne-ridden caricature whose only sources of lighting in his parent’s basement are the blue glow from his computer screen and the ambient light reflected off his InuYasha posters. I start wondering if all this time he’s secretly been the same internet celebrity made fun of in videos like this one. But when DPO’s photo eventually does arrive in my inbox, I admit my expectations were wrong. He looks... kind of like… a normal person! Specifically, I remember thinking he looked like someone you might see at a metal show (he would later confirm that this was an interest of his).
The day of the meeting is postponed a great many times. Both of us have unexpected work obligations and out-of-town trips. Then Thanksgiving arrives. Then more work obligations. And then, just when we finally have the perfect day figured out, 15 inches of snow fall that morning. Fifteen inches, if you missed that sentence. In the DC area. (If you’re not from around here, suffice it to say that our local newscasters have in the past used the word blizzard to describe four inches of snow.) We began to joke via AIM that fate simply doesn’t want us to meet. I look through my window at the snow-covered cars. “Fuck it, let’s meet up anyway.” We had been planning this for too long. Both of us agree to just drive through the snow to the hamburger restaurant.

“Waldfield dies in car accident,” DPO IMs me. “Thousands of fans in tears.”
I tell him that it would at least provide an interesting angle for that article I was supposed to write. It has to be better than “Waldfield and DPO meet up and have a boring conversation,” right?
It’s not until I after I shovel off the, I repeat, fifteen inches of snow from my car that DPO writes me to say that our hamburger restaurant was closed today. Because of the blizzard. So we say, let’s just meet up in a different type of restaurant. The hamburger idea was nice, but not necessary, right? So we call a few more eateries in the area. But literally every single one is closed as well. (I told you, Washington DC is not used to this much snow.) I begrudgingly admit that perhaps we had better postpone the meeting again after all.
Finally, the actual day arrives. It’s a weekday, because that was the only time we could fit in before the holidays (and the out-of-town-trips they imply), and we didn’t want to push this thing back yet another month. (IIRC, we had been trying to work out this meeting since late October.) The meeting is in the afternoon, and wouldn’t you know it but the morning goes by very slowly that day.
III. The Meeting
DPO is accompanied by his girlfriend, known on the forums as ButtSexEurope (BSE for short), who is not only a collaborator on the Dirty videos but apparently a fan of mine. I went alone (and my mind was my own. Superfly). His truck allows them to effortlessly plow through the remaining snow on the roads, while my tiny car had to lurch its way there at 4mph, skidding the whole way and almost killing several people and small animals.
When I finally do arrive (and clean the blood off my fender), I am shocked to discover that DPO is not the person in his photo but rather a 45-year-old convicted felon who kidnaps and beats me for a week before selling me into slavery just kidding here is what actually happened.
We ordered our hamburgers and chatted for a long time about the topics you might have expected: our videos, the DirtyPotter.com forums, upcoming projects, our fans (the good and the bad), other people’s YouTube Poops (a few of which we were even able to watch there on his iPhone), Jim Dale, and so on. The conversation also branches into things like our jobs and our youths, and into the worlds of anime and video games. (If that wasn’t nerdy enough, the three of us also had an extended conversation about Magic: the Gathering. I’m not proud of it, but my journalistic integrity requires me to admit it.)
Before that day, I had spent many weeks dreading what would happen when we met. It is probably not surprising to hear that I am fairly antisocial. I am grouchy, a curmudgeon, and inordinately picky, and would earnestly rather be alone than forced to talk to somebody 99% of the time. And for all I knew, he and BSE would be the same way. (Isn’t the whole reason people get into video editing because they lack social skills?) So, when we did meet, and the conversation turned out to be actually engaging, I was very relieved!
I guess I don’t know what they would say about me, but since I am the one writing the article, I can tell you that they both came across as very witty and charming. They’re full of anecdotes, opinions, and a veritable database of obscure references. She’s the very enthusiastic and talkative type, whereas he is more laid back (as am I). All three of us had to work hard towards restraining the vulgarity of our language, since we were in fact in public.
I imagine the readers are looking for something more specific than the broad strokes I’ve been painting, so here are some memorable moments from the exchange:

• 
  I told them that Dirty Potter 2 was my favorite in the series, only to hear that it’s both of their least favorites. It was too disorganized, they say. “It was the most organized!” I retaliate. “It has the clearest plot of the three! It follows a geography! They go upstairs into the bathroom, and then downstairs into the kitchen!” The argument was never resolved. (But again, I am the one writing the article, so I can put in here that I was right! They just don’t like it because it doesn’t have music in the background!)
  
• 
  DPO, BSE, and two of their other IRL friends all in varying ways collaborate on the Dirty Potter videos. In terms of editing, finding clips, critiquing the work, and so on.
  
• 
  DPO was wearing a “The Dude Abides” t-shirt. I was wearing an argyle sweater. She was wearing something that I’m not sure how to describe but looked fashionable.
  
• 
  Anime that we all liked included Elfen Lied, Fist of the North Star, and Ninja Scroll. They recommended a few more titles to me that I hadn’t heard of. All three of us expressed ambivalence about Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures. Which then made me rant about how much I loved this video even though nobody else does (either due to nor not liking it or not having seen it. DPO and BSE fell in the second category.)
  
• 
  DPO described his ardent wish of going to one of Jim Dale’s book signings to talk to him. He bemoaned the fact that Jim would never sign something Dirty Potter related (if you hadn’t heard, a link to the video got DPO blocked from Jim Dale’s twitter). I told him, why not have him sign the case for a Harry Potter dvd... so his signature was on the plastic... and then later take out the cover and replace it with a Dirty Potter cover! He and his girlfriend both admitted the cleverness of the idea. (Jim Dale: if you’re reading this, can you do a book signing in the DC area sometime soon? Also, sorry about the twitter incident.)
  
• 
  While DPO steps away from the table for a minute, his girlfriend tells me how much they both enjoy my Genesis reedit and quote it frequently. Which flattered me, because I had always been a little shaky about that video. Also while he is away, she and I recreate Tigger’s “fuck you” montage from my video, complete with all the arm gestures. (But spoken quietly, because, again, we are in public.)
  
• 
  When DPO asks me if I might ever make another video, I tell him probably not. I tell him if I randomly get inspired one day, then possibly, but it’s not super likely. (Sorry, fans.)
  
• 
  All three of us are apparently fairly militant about eating healthily. It’s probably the reason we’re all pretty scrawny. And sharp with the editing skills! (Kids: if you want to be like me one day, drink your vegetable juice!)
  
• 
  I came to the meeting with gifts. For him, an autographed copy of my zine, and for both of them, official 1" Sonic Masturbating pins. Aren’t I generous!
  
• 
  BSE remarks that I’m the only guy she knows who’s not at all into cars. (It didn’t come up during conversation, but I’m also not at all into sports.)
  
• 
  Both DPO and I coincidentally have large projector screens in our homes to watch movies and play games on.
  
• 
  We did know this before meeting up, but if you’re curious, the three of us are all in our mid 20s.
  
• 
  It came up that, while I was in high school, I was a cherubic student determined to get straight As in everything (except gym). They were less so.
  
• 
  All three of us did in fact weave quotes from both people’s videos throughout the conversation.
  
• 
  Speaking of quoting videos, DPO earnestly, in context, without thinking about it, at one point said, with its literal meaning, “I love sushi.” I immediately followed it up with “I love Japan, period.” (I was relieved that both of them did in fact get the reference.)
  
• 
  It came up during conversation that I was mentioned on Encyclopaedia Dramatica (on the YouTube Poop page) and that he was mentioned on Wikipedia (on the Harry Potter parodies page). Neither of us is mentioned on both pages.
  

All in all, the conversation lasted a little over three hours before we parted ways. Take that, Elvis.

Take it deep.

(P.S. If you have any questions about any of us, or the meeting, or anything else, post ’em here and one of us will probably answer.)