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CYC-Online July 2011 / Issue 149
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T
he abil ity to per se -
vere in the face of
frus tra tion is a
trade mark of suc cess-an
abil ity that is high on the
list of self-con trol needs
for young sters. While
teach ers never pur pose -
fully try to frus trate their
stu dents, many ev ery day
class room af fairs re quire
the abil ity to man age frus -
tra tion. Wait ing for the
teacher to an swer a ques -
tion, puz zling over a math
prob lem, and stum bling
through a read ing pas sage
are com mon, ev ery day ex pe ri ences that
can frus trate many stu dents. To a large ex -
tent, how they han dle these frus tra tions
can make the dif fer ence be tween school
suc cess or fail ure.
Stu dents with low frus tra tion tol er ance
are easy to spot in any class room. They
give up eas ily and they
avoid tasks that are dif fi -
cult. The re frain “I can’t
do it” is their man tra.
Spe cial ed u ca tors call this
lack of per sis tence in the
face of dif fi cul ties learned
help less ness. Con sider
these scenarios:
Helen, age 12, is stumped
by a word dur ing a
spell ing quiz. In stead of
think ing, she clowns
around, pre tend ing to
smoke her pen cil like a
cig a rette. She leaves the
rest of her paper blank.
Mark, a fifth grader, has dif fi cul ties
cal cu lat ing per im e ters. His frus tra tion
is pain fully ob vi ous. He erases his
an swers so hard that he tears a hole
in the paper.
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CYC-Online July 2011 / Issue 149
Teach ing Stu dents to
Over come Frus tra tion
Mar tin Henley
Abstract: Teach ing stu dents to han dle frus tra tion in the class room can break through ac a demic
road blocks and re duce re lated be hav ior prob lems. The au thor of fers con crete strat e gies for
in tro duc ing the con cept of frus tra tion to stu dents, re duc ing class room stresses, and in te grat ing
frus tra tion-tol er ance tech niques into the reg u lar cur ric u lum.
Yolanda, age 11, throws down her
read ing text in dis gust after bun gling
sev eral words while read ing aloud.
Just as a golfer with a high hand i cap
ends up hav ing to play the most dif fi cult
shots-out of the rough and sand
trapsstudents who are hand i capped by
low frus tra tion tol er ance have to deal with
low grades, dead-end re la tion ships, and
chronic strug gles with au thor ity fig ures.
Those who are the least ca pa ble have
the most challenges.
How ever, stu dents who have learned to
quit can also learn to per se vere. The so lu -
tion is to change the way they think about
them selves and to teach them the skills they
need to tol er ate and man age their frus tra -
tion. The Self-Con trol Cur ric u lum pro vides
prac ti cal guide lines for teach ing frus tra tion
tol er ance and the 19 other so cial skills that
com prise self-con trol (see Table).
Learn ing frus tra tion tol er ance be gins
with the in sight “I feel frus trated.” To
learn how to cope with the stress that ac -
com pa nies frus tra tion, stu dents need to
un der stand what is hap pen ing to them. To
their dis ad van tage, many young sters do
not even have the word “frus tra tion” in
their vo cab u lary. With out a se man tic hook
on which to hang their in tense and con -
fused feel ings, stu dents are un able to
fig ure out ap pro pri ate ways to man age
their angst. (Try to de scribe feel ings of
shame, grief, or dis ap point ment to a friend
without using the words!)
Rather than think ing through their sit u -
a tion, such young sters re sort to the
prim i tive fight-or-flight in stinct that is ge -
net i cally wired in all of us at birth. They
act with out think ing, and their ac tions are
al most al ways coun ter pro duc tive. Ap a thy
(“I don’t care”), anger (“I hate read ing”),
and de spair (“I’ll never learn this”) are typ -
i cal re ac tions of a young per son who has
learned that the best way to deal with a
frus trat ing situation is avoidance.
At taching a word to feel ings is the first
step in learn ing to deal with frus tra tion.
Within the Self-Con trol Cur ric u lum, this is
called teach ing the con cept. Dur ing the ini tial
phase of the Self-Con trol Cur ric u lum, vo -
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CYC-Online July 2011 / Issue 149
SELF-CONTROL CURRICULUM
Im pulses Con trol
Man age Sit u a tional Lure
Dem on strate Pa tience
Ver bal ize Feel ings
Re sist Tempt ing Ob jects
Fol low School Rou tines
Fol low Rules
Or ga nize School Ma te ri als
Ac cept Evaluative Com ments
Make Class room Tran si tions
Man age Group Sit u a tions
Main tain Com po sure
Ap praise Peer Pres sure
Par tic i pate in Group Ac tiv i ties
De scribe Ef fect of Be hav ior on Oth ers
Man age Stress
Adapt to New Sit u a tions
Cope with Com pe ti tion
Tol er ate Frus tra tion
Se lect Ten sion-Re duc ing Ac tiv i ties
Solve So cial Prob lems
Focus on Pres ent
Learn from Past Ex pe ri ence
An tic i pate Con se quences
Re solve Con flicts