Judaism discovered

The Authority of the Talmud

Judaic scholar Hyam Maccoby, in Judaism on Trial, quotes Rabbi Yehiel ben Joseph: "Further, without the Talmud, we would not be able to understand passages in the Bible...God has handed this authority to the sages and tradition is a necessity as well as scripture. The Sages also made enactments of their own...anyone who does not study the Talmud cannot understand Scripture."

The two versions of the Talmud are, as we have noted, the Babylonian Talmud ("Talmud Bavli") and the Jerusalem Talmud ("Talmud Yerushalmi"; also known as the "Palestinian Talmud"). It bears repeating that the Babylonian Talmud is regarded as the authoritative version: "The authority of the Babylonian Talmud is also greater than that of the Jerusalem Talmud. In cases of doubt the former is decisive." ³⁸¹

"Palestinian rabbinic scholars were unable to contend as equals with their Babylonian counterparts, in those fields in which the Babylonians specialized during this period, namely Talmud and Halakha." ³⁸² "...we find the most significant, radical, and daring statements about Jesus' life and destiny in the Babylonian Talmud rather than in the Palestinian sources." ³⁸³

God gave the Oral Law to Moses at Mt. Sinai. (Mishnah Aboth, 1.1).

God made the covenant with Israel only because of the Oral Law. (BT Gittin, 60b).

The rival Rabbinic schools of Hillel and Shammai are both correct, even where they differ. When their decrees differ, both are the words of God, according to God. (BT Erubin 13b).

The Bible says that the rulings of the Rabbis must be obeyed. (BT Yebamoth 20a).

Those who obey the Rabbis are holy; those who disobey are wicked. (BT Yebamoth 20a,)He who disobeys the Rabbis is a transgressor in Israel. (BT Shabbath40a).

The decrees of the Rabbinic council (Beth Din) are not to be questioned, and have equal authority with Moses. (BT Rosh Hashanah 25a).

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Studying the Bible is a matter of indifference to God; studying the Talmud is meritorious. (BT Baba Mezia, 33a).

Studying the Bible after studying the Talmud produces trouble. (BT Hagigah, 10a).

The Rabbis ("wise men") are greater than the prophets. (BT Baba Bathra 12a).

God intervenes in a Rabbinic dispute and is logically defeated by a Rabbi. The commands of the Rabbis are more important than the commands of the Bible. Whoever disobeys the Rabbis deserves death, and will be punished in Hell with boiling excrement. (BT Erubin 21b).

Disobeying the Rabbis is conduct to be punished with death. (BT Berakoth 4b).

Those who ridicule the Rabbis are fools³⁸⁴ who deserve death. (BT Baba Bathra 75a).

As you read the following Talmud passages picture God Himself soberly engaged in their contemplation. Rabbi Neusner says that in this divine setting, "...the mode of piety, the imitation of God and the focus of sanctity" are the qualities of the Talmudic sages whom Neusner calls "saints," but he qualifies this by saying, "Their sainthood consisted in critical intelligence!" ³⁸⁵ The philosopher Martin Buber called the teachers of the Talmud, vessels of the "primeval light of God" and the Talmud "the chariot of God." Elie Wiesel terms the teachers of Talmud, "the source of enrichment..."

The Talmud in the Toilet

We propose that the "enrichment" that Elie Wiesel is referring to is manure. Kosher manure. The rabbis are obsessed with toilets. In Steven Spielberg's movie Schindler's List, a Judaic boy saves his life by jumping into the cesspool under an outdoor toilet. The toilet saves his life. He jumps into it and it's full, and he swims around in the excrement in Spielberg's movie, and he's saved. That's a representative form of Talmudic salvation. But most of the time the toilet is not a salvation for Judaic persons, rather it is a source of anxiety and hundreds of rabbinic laws.

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The rabbis are frightened of going to the bathroom. They believe that devils reside in latrines and the rabbis have to protect themselves and their co-religionists, from these devils, in various ways. The Rabbis taught: On coming from a toilet a man should not have sexual intercourse until he has waited long enough to walk half a mile, because the demon of the toilet is with him for that time. If he does not walk the half-mile, the children conceived after he went to the bathroom, will be epileptic. (BT Gittin 70a).

The latrine demon (ruach ra'ah) would be laughable were it not taken so seriously by the superstitious adherents of Orthodox Judaism. We should all wash our hands upon finishing in the bathroom but the rabbis prescribe here too the infamous ritual hand washing to remove the demon of the toilet from one's hands — "It is praiseworthy to wash one's hands three times with a vessel after using the toilet." ^3S6 Upon entering a toilet, a Talmudist is supposed to recite the following prayer: "Preserve me! preserve me! help me, help me, support me, support me, till I have entered and come forth..." When he comes out of the toilet the Judaic recites: "Blessed is He who has formed man in wisdom and created in him many orifices and many cavities. It is fully known before the throne of Your glory that if one of them should be opened or one of them closed it would be impossible for a man to stand before You." (BT Berakoth 60b).

Continuing in BT Berakoth, this time at 61b, we read: "Our Rabbis taught: One who goes to the bathroom in Judea should not do so east and west, but rather north and south. In Galilee he should do so only east and west." The text continues with the following accounts of the lengths to which the sages went to learn from their rabbis while they were on the toilet. BT Berakoth 62a: "It has been taught: Rabbi Akiva said: Once I went in the bathroom and spied upon Rabbi Joshua while he was on the toilet, and I learned from him three things. I learned that one does not sit east and west, but north and south; I learned that one defecates not standing but sitting; and I learned that it is proper to wipe with the left hand and not with the right.'

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"Said Rabbi Judah to him: 'Why should one wipe with the left hand and not with the right hand?'

"Rabbi Raba said: 'Because the Torah was given with the right hand, as it says, At His right hand was a fiery law unto them. (Deuteronomy 33:2).'

"R. Tanhum said: 'Whoever behaves modestly in a bathroom is delivered from three things: from snakes, from scorpions, and from evil spirits and disturbing dreams.'

"There was a certain toilet in Tiberias which if two persons entered together even by day, they came to harm. Rabbi Ammi and Rabbi Assi used to enter it separately, and they suffered no harm.'

"The Rabbis said to them, 'Are you not afraid?' They replied: "We have learned a certain tradition. The tradition for (avoiding harm in) the toilet is modesty and silence."

The Talmud also has sacred rules about what to do if one can't find a bathroom: "Rabbi Ulla said: 'Behind a fence one may ease himself immediately; in an open field, so long as he can break wind without anyone hearing it.'

"Rabbi Issi b. Nathan reported thus: 'Behind a fence, as long as he can break wind without anyone hearing it; in a open field, as long as he cannot be seen by anyone.'

"An objection was raised: They may go out by the door of the olive press and ease themselves behind a fence (immediately) and they (the olives) remain clean!' For the sake of ritual purity they made a concession. Come and hear: How close can one be without affecting the cleanness (of the olive press)?'

"The rabbis replied: Any distance as long as he can still see it!' A certain funeral orator went down in the presence of Rabbi Nachman (to deliver a sermon) and said: 'This dead man was modest in all his ways.' Said Rabbi Nachman to the man giving the sermon at the funeral: 'Did you ever follow the dead man into the bathroom so that you should know whether he was modest or not? For it has been taught: A man is called modest only if he is such in the toilet.'

"Our Rabbis taught: A man should always accustom himself to go to the bathroom in the early morning and in the evening so that he may have no need to go a long distance. And again, in the day time Raba used to go as far as a mile, but at night he said to his servant: 'Clear me a spot in the street of

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the town,' and so too R. Zera said to his attendant, 'See if there is anyone behind the Seminary, as I wish to ease myself.'

"Rabbi Ben Azzai said: 'Go forth before dawn and after dark, so that you should not have to go far. Feel yourself before sitting, but do not sit on the toilet and then feel yourself, for if one sits and then feels himself, should witchcraft be used against him, even from far away, he will not be immune from it."

And if he forgets and does sit, and then feels, what is the remedy? "When he gets up off the toilet he should say, thus: 'Not for me, not for me; not tahtim nor tahtim; not these nor any part of these; neither the sorceries of sorcerers nor the sorceries of sorceresses!'

"Rabbi Safra entered a toilet. Rabbi Abba came and cleared his throat at the entrance. He said to him: 'Let the master enter. When he came out, he said to him: You have not yet been turned into a goat, but you have learned the manners of a goat.' Rabbi Eleazar once entered a bathroom, and a gentile came and forced him out of it. Rabbi Eleazar got up from the toilet and went out, but then a snake came and tore out the gentile's guts. Rabbi Judah said further: There are three things the drawing out of which prolongs a man's days and years; the drawing out of prayer, the drawing out of a meal, and the drawing out of excrement in a bathroom." (BT Berakoth 54b).

"To draw out one's stay in a bathroom, is this a good thing? Has it not been taught: Ten things bring on constipation; eating the leaves of reeds, and the leaves of vines, and the sprouts of vines, and the rough parts of the flesh of an animal, and the backbone of a fish, and salted fish not sufficiently cooked, and wiping oneself with lime, potters' clay or pebbles, which have been used by another. Some add, to strain oneself unduly! 'This may be illustrated by what a certain matron said to Rabbi Judah: Your face is (red) like that of pig-breeders and gentiles!'

"To which the Rabbi replied: 'On my faith, both are forbidden me, but there are twenty-four toilets between my house and the Beth Midrash, and when I go there I test myself in all of them." (Berakoth 55a).

"Our Rabbis taught: One who is about to enter a bathroom should take off his teflllin at a distance of four cubits and then enter. Rabbi Aha son of Rabbi Huna said in the name of Rabbi Sheshet: 'This was meant to apply only to a regular toilet but if it is made for the occasion, he takes them off and eases himself at once, and when he comes out he goes a distance of four

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cubits and puts them on, because he has now made it a regular toilet.' The question was asked, 'What is the rule about a man going in to a regular toilet with his tefillin to urinate?' Rabbi Rabina allowed it; Rabbi Mattena forbade it. They went and asked Raba and he said to them: Tt is forbidden, since we are afraid that he may ease himself in them, or, as some report, lest he may break wind in them.'

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"In the toilet it is forbidden to think about Talmud matters. Therefore, while you are there, it is best to think of business affairs and finances in order not to think of the writings of the sages. On the Sabbath, when it is forbidden to think about business, you should think about interesting events that you saw or heard."

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**You should be careful to wipe yourself well (after using the toilet) because if you have even the slightest amount of excrement at the opening of your rectum you are forbidden to utter any sacred word. You should not wipe yourself with your right hand because this hand is used to tie the tefillin. Because of this reason you should not clean yourself with the middle finger of the left hand because the tefillin strap is tied around it."

"After each bowel movement or urination, even of one drop, you should wash your hands and recite the berachah, asher yatzar. If you urinated or moved your bowels and forgot to recite the berachah, asher yatzar, and after urinating or moving your bowels again, you remembered that you did not recite the berachah, you need to recite the berachah only once. After partaking of a laxative that induces diarrhea, and you know that you will use

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the toilet numerous times, you should not recite the berachah until after all the excrement has passed through you.³⁸⁷

"Two men should never enter (a lavatory) at the same time. ³⁸⁸ Instead, one should sit alone, closing the door behind him so that no one else will enter. If he is afraid to stay there alone, another person may place his hand on his head through a window, but without conversing with him, for as an expression of modesty one does not converse in a lavatory. ³⁸⁹ Therefore, if one cannot close the door, and another person desires to enter, they should communicate by making sounds; but should not speak.

"...If a person relieves his bowels in an open place, such as a field, he should distance himself (from others) to the extent that his uncovered body, from the front or from behind, cannot be seen. He does not have to distance himself so far that he cannot be seen at all; even if he can be seen from afar, this is of no consequence. If one is behind a fence, or in a yard behind the walls of a house, there is no need to distance oneself. Even if someone hears him breaking wind, the requirements of modesty do not impose any restriction. All the laws of modesty concerning a lavatory must be heeded at night just as during the day, except for the requirement to distance oneself in a field or the like. At night there is no need to distance oneself at all, and one may relieve oneself even in urban public places. ³⁹⁰

"The above applies to elimination. Urinating, however, is permitted even in public and by day, for (one who contains himself) risks sterility. Therefore, in time of need, it is forbidden to postpone (urinating) out of modesty, though one should move to the side.³⁹¹ This applies even to a woman in the presence of her infant son. If a person relieves himself in an open place that is not surrounded by partitions, he should face the south with his back to the north, or vice versa. He should not have his back to the west or to the east, out of reverence for the Divine Presence, which abides in the west, facing east. This is why the east is referred to as 'the front' and the west, 'the back,' as reflected in the verse, ^You have hedged me behind and in front.' The south is

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thus called the right, or teiman. It is permissible to have one's back to the southwest, the northwest, the southeast or the northeast, provided that one's orientation is more north-south than east-west; if not, this position is forbidden. Where possible, it is preferable to make a point of facing south with one's back to the north, and not the opposite, so that one will not be easing oneself in the direction of Jerusalem and the site of the Beis HaMikdash.³⁹² This applies in most of these countries that are located more to the north of Jerusalem than to the west, and even more so in those countries which are located directly to the north of Jerusalem. The above applies when one relieves oneself in an open place.³⁹³ Where there are partitions however, or even one partition, (even) in the west one should sit next to that partition with his back to the west, towards the partition. If the partition is to the east, he should sit next to it with his back to the east...Once seated, one should not eliminate hurriedly and forcibly open the aperture, lest he cause the anal sphincter to rupture and prolapse. For the same reason, undue pressure should not be applied.

"One should not clean oneself with a shard that is not smooth and the like, lest he cause a tear or a perforation. For this reason permission was granted to carry small, smooth stones on Shabbos (the Sabbath), even though they are muktzeh³⁹⁴ and even if one has a shard which is not muktzeh. Permission was granted (on the Sabbath) to bring thin stones into a lavatory, as many as a handful, to be used in succession until the last one emerges from the anus clean. After that (point has been reached), on the Sabbath one may not continue to clean the anus with them...

"A person who feels no inhibition about cleaning himself with his fingers should not use his right hand, but his left, because it is with the fingers of his right hand that he ties the tefillin on his left arm. A left-handed person who puts tefillin on his right arm and ties them with his left hand, should 'clean with his right hand.'

"The above applies to cleaning after elimination, but it is permitted to brush off drops of urine even with one's right hand, and likewise one may use that hand to kill a louse. When one urinates while standing, and many drops

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of urine will fall on his feet if he does not lift his penis, he is permitted to raise it by lifting his testicles. If the drops of urine fall on his feet, he should clean them off immediately with his hands and not walk among people in this manner (since drops of urine on a person's feet may arouse the suspicion that his penis is mutilated and his children are illegitimate). He should not hold the penis itself to raise it, for 'he who holds his organ is considered as if he brought a flood upon the world,'³⁹⁵ lest he become aroused and emit seed wastefully. (This stringency applies) unless he holds the penis from the corona downward, i.e., towards the ground, for this will not arouse him. Alternatively, he may hold (his organ) with a thick cloth, for this too will not arouse him.

"When a person is married, and his wife is in the same city as he is, and she is ritually pure, the letter of the law permits him to hold his penis even above the corona. Since he has a 'loaf in his basket,' ³⁹⁶ he will not be stimulated to improper thoughts or to an erection. Nevertheless, pious behavior dictates stringency. Moreover, even according to the letter of the law, permission was granted to a married man to hold his organ only while urinating so that drops of urine will not fall on his feet, but not to rub it, except with a thick cloth which does not cause arousal." ³⁹⁷

There are many more Talmudic toilet laws, including the time allowed for deferring the urge to urinate or defecate, figured as the time it would take to walk the length of a parsah (approximately four kilometers). The rabbis discussed how to calculate that distance in terms of time: "Some authorities consider the time it takes to walk a kilometer as 18 minutes, while others say 24 minutes. Thus the time it takes to walk a parsah will be either 72 or 96 minutes. Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Lyady, the 'Alter Rebbe' favored the 96 minute estimate." Therefore, a Judaic is allowed to hold off the urge to defecate or urinate for up to 96 minutes. Readers wishing to delve deeper into the Talmudic toilet laws should consult, among other works, the "Shulchan Aruch HaRav: Mahadura Basra," section 3, "Conduct in the Lavatory," from

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which we have derived the preceding selections. With reference to the urine drops on the feet as an indication of a mutilated penis, this brings us to the account of Amnon and Tamar in BT Sanhedrin 21a, reproduced below:

"Amnon hated her exceedingly so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. What is the reason that Amnon hated her? Rabbi Yitzhak said, 'While they were having sexual intercourse her pubic hair became entangled around his penis and it became mutilated as a result/ Even if Tamar's public hair got wound around Amnon's penis, and he suffered an injury as a result, what did she do to deserve his hatred? The matter should be understood as follows: Amnon hated Tamar because she deliberately tied her pubic hair around his penis and it became mutilated as a result. Rava expounded: 'What is that which is written, And your renown went forth among the nations for your beauty*? — It means that the daughters of Israel do not have hair in their armpits or their pubic regions."

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Examining the text of BT Sanhedrin 21a the question arises, if Israelite women do not have public hair, how then did Tamar cause Amnon the injury? The answer is found in the connection between having a mutilated penis and having illegitimate children, which was mentioned in the toilet laws. Tamar was a gentile who converted to Judaism and as such she had abundant pubic hair. According to the "reasoning" of the rabbis, she desired to mutilate Amnon's genitals to keep him from marrying a Jewish woman. A Jewish man with a mutilated penis cannot marry a Jewish woman. He can only marry a convert, like Tamar. The yichus of the issue of such a marriage can be suspect, even considered illegitimate in some cases, hence the connection between a maimed penis and illegitimacy. In Judaism issues of illegitimacy however are not the usual ones. For example, a convert (like the Talmudic Tamar, not to be confused with the Biblical Tamar of II Samuel) is regarded, after conversion, as being without biological ties to her parents or relatives. Therefore, under rabbinic law, it would not be incestuous for Tamar to marry a Jew who was her half-brother, her uncle, or her first cousin (in the case of Tamar she was Jewish on her father's side only).

Talmudic Interpretation of Scripture

God wears phylacteries (BT Berakoth 6a).

Elijah and Moses blamed God for causing the Israelites to sin. God admitted that they were right. (BT Berakoth 31b-32a).

The Old Testament's new moon goat sacrifice is to atone for the sin of God. (BT Shebuoth 9a).

David had sexual relations with eighteen wives, even while he was ill. (BT Sanhedrin 107a).

Siera had sexual relations with Jael seven times before she killed him. (BT Nazir 23b).

Adam had sexual relations with all the animals in the Garden of Eden. (BTYebamoth63a).

Blasphemy against God is only punished if the blasphemer utters the Divine Name. (BT Sanhedrin 55b-56a).

If one hits his father or mother without causing a wound, he is not guilty and should not be killed (BT Sanhedrin 85b).

One who curses his father or mother is not guilty unless he uses the Divine name in the curse (BT Sanhedrin 66a).

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The commandment of Moses forbidding enchantments refers only to enchantments performed with weasels, birds or fish (BT Sanhedrin 66a).

A man is not guilty of murder if he causes a poisonous snake to kill a man; the snake should be executed for murder, while the man goes free (BT Sanhedrin 76b, 78a).

If someone ties up his neighbor and the neighbor dies of starvation, or if he incapacitates a man in the presence of a lion and the lions kills the incapacitated man, the man who was the perpetrator is not guilty of murder. (BT Sanhedrin 77a).

Killing a terminally ill person is not murder. (BT Sanhedrin 78a).

King Saul was punished by God because he did not take vengeance on his enemies; no one can be a true scholar unless he takes vengeance (BT Yoma 22b).

Hating your enemy is permitted, even commanded ³⁹⁸(BT Pesahim 113b).

Canaanites who reside in Israel will have eternal life (BT Kethuboth Ilia). Living in the land of Israel gives one eternal life (BT Pesahim 113a).

Agriculture is the lowest form of occupations. (BT Tebamoth 63a).

He who recites Psalm 145 three times a day will have eternal life. (BT Berakoth 4b).