Microsoft Word Elisabeth Kubler-Ross On Death And Dying doc

 
DOCTOR: How else do you think we can be of help? How is dying for you? What does it mean to 
you? 
 
PATIENT: I'm not afraid to die. 
 
DOCTOR: No? 
 
PATIENT: No. 
 
DOCTOR: It has no bad connotations? 
 
PATIENT: I don't mean that. Naturally everyone wants to live as long as they can. 
 
DOCTOR: Naturally. 
 
PATIENT: But I wouldn't be afraid of dying. 
 
DOCTOR: How do you conceive of it? 
 
CHAPLAIN: This is what I wondered, not that we are communicating anything to you except that 
people do have problems. Do you think of what will happen if this leads to death? Have you 
thought about this? You mentioned talking to your friend. 
 
PATIENT: Yes. We have talked about it. 
 
CHAPLAIN: Could you share some of your feelings about this? 
 
PATIENT: It's sort of hard for me to, you know, talk . . . 
 
CHAPLAIN: It's more comfortable to talk with her about it than with someone else. 
 
PATIENT: To someone else you know. 
 
CHAPLAIN: Could I ask you a related question, in terms of how has your illness, and this is the 
second illness for you, you've had tuberculosis, and you've lost your daughter-how have these 
experiences affected your attitude toward life, your religious thoughts? 
 
(P172) 
 
PATIENT: I guess it has brought me closer to God. 
 
CHAPLAIN: In what way? In feeling that he could be of help, or 
 
PATIENT: Yes. I just feel that I have put myself in his hands. It would be up to him if I could get 
well again-lead a normal life. 
 

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CHAPLAIN: You mentioned difficulty in being dependent on other people, and yet you are able to 
find a good deal of help from this friend of yours. Is it difficult to depend on God? 
 
PATIENT: No. 
 
CHAPLAIN: He's more like this friend, eh? 
 
PATIENT: Yes. 
 
DOCTOR: But if I understood right, your friend has the same needs that you have. She also needs a 
sister, so it's a give and take, it's not just a taking. 
 
PATIENT: She's had sorrow and difficulties in her life, perhaps that has brought her closer to me. 
 
DOCTOR: Is she a lonely woman? 
 
PATIENT: She can understand. She's a married woman, she never had any children, she loves 
children, she has never had any of her own. But she loves everyone else's. She and her husband 
have work there at the children's home, they've been house parents. Oh, they always have children 
around them all the time, and they have been very nice to my boys too. 
 
DOCTOR: Who takes care of both of them if you should be in a hospital for a long time, or if you 
should die? 
 
PATIENT: Well, air, I think it would be natural if anything happened to me that their father would. 
It would just be his place to 
 
DOCTOR: How do you feel about that? 
 
PATIENT: I think that would be the best thing. 
 
DOCTOR: For the boys. 
 
PATIENT: I don't know if it would be the best thing for the boys, but 
 
DOCTOR: How do they get along with his second wife? Who would really be their substitute 
mother? 
 
PATIENT: Well, they really have no use for her. 
 
DOCTOR: In what way? 
 
PATIENT: Well, I don't know whether she resents the boys, or I don't know. But I do think, in his 
heart, that their father loves the boys, I think he always has. If it came down to it I don't know if 
there is anything he wouldn't do for them. 
 
CHAPLAIN: Your boys are pretty far along. The younger one is thirteen? 

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PATIENT: Thirteen. He is in the eighth grade this year. 
 
DOCTOR: Thirteen and eighteen, eh? 
 
PATIENT: The oldest boy graduated from high school last year. He was just eighteen in September. 
So he had to sign up for the draft, which doesn't make him too happy, which doesn't make me 
happy either. I don't think about that. I try not to but then I do. 
 
DOCTOR: Especially at times like this I think it is very difficult to think about. Has the hospital as 
a whole, and individuals on your floor been helpful in every way they could or do you have any 
suggestions how things could be improved for patients like you, who have, I'm sure, a lot of 
problems and conflicts and worries, and very hardly talk about it, like you. 
 
PATIENT: Oh, I think, I feel that, I wish that my doctors could explain a little more to me. I realize, 
I mean I still feel like I'm in the dark, as far as really knowing about. Well, now maybe there are 
some people who want to know how sick they are and some people that don't. Well, if I thought 
that I just had a short time to live I would want to know that. 
 
DOCTOR: Did you ask him? 
 
PATIENT: No. But the doctors are always in a hurry 
 
DOCTOR: Will you please grab him the next time and ask him? 
 
PATIENT: I feel that their time is valuable. I mean I don't 
 
CHAPLAIN: This isn't too different than what she said about her other relationships. She doesn't 
impose on anybody and to take somebody's time is sort of an imposition unless she is going to feel 
comfortable with them. 
 
DOCTOR: Unless the tumor gets so big, and the pain so unbearable that you can't take it anymore-
right? Who is the doctor you would like to hear from? Do you have several doctors? With whom do 
you feel more comfortable? 
 
(P174) 
 
PATIENT: I have so much confidence in Dr. Q., it seems like when he walks in the room, I just, I 
feel that anything he tells me is, well, it's all right. 
 
 
DOCTOR: Maybe he waits for an opening to be asked? 
 
PATIENT: I've always felt that way toward him. 
 
DOCTOR: Do you think it's possible that he waits for an opening to be asked from you? 
 

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