More Heroic Failures

The Most Useless Weapon 
The most useless weapon is perhaps the Russian one 
which used dogs. In the Second World War they taught 
dogs to think about food every time they saw a 
tank. 
So 
when the dog saw a tank, it ran under it to look for 
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The Most Useless Weapon 

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food. The idea was to tic bombs to the dogs, to kill the 
soldiers in the enemy tanks. 
But the dogs ran only to Russian tanks and many of the 
Russians had to turn back. They very soon stopped using 
dog-bombs. 
The Worst Man-to-Man Fight 
In 1645 there was a fight between Sir Hierome Sankey 
and Sir William Petty and people remembered it for 
many years. It happened in London - nobody knows 
what the fight was about. 
Sir Hieromc was a frightening man. Sir William did not 
really want to fight him. 
Sir William was the one who chose the place and the 
weapons for the fight. He had a very clever idea. He 
chose a very dark room so that they could not sec and 
weapons that were too heavy to lift. 
This was the worst fight until December 1971, when 
two Uruguayan soldiers could not agree. It happened 
after one of them called the other a name that he did not 
like. 
They decided to meet in a local park and to fight with 
guns. Standing with seventy-five feet between them, they 
both shot thirty-seven bullets. But neither of them hit the 
other man. 
Later, a friend of one of the soldiers explained this 
surprising fact. They both forgot to put on their glasses 
before the fight. 
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The Worst Local Government Worker 
Senor Jose Ramon del Cuet once had an important job in 
the local government of Coacaloco in Mexico. In June 
1978 he left his job because he felt that he was not a 
success. Four thousand local people helped him to decide 
to do this. They all went to the local government offices 
and ordered him to eat twenty-five kilos of bananas and 
he did. Then they told him to leave his job immediately.