Omens: Good and Bad a groundbreaking Research Paper from Roswell Victims of the Omenati
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- Bu səhifədəki naviqasiya:
- Introduction.
- Hilton Head Island
- Genghis Leprechaun
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Omens: Good and Bad A Groundbreaking Research Paper from Roswell Victims of the Omenati Tori Berunningaway3, Maximillian Robespierre2, and Zheng He1 1Full Sail University ohnohedidnt@fullsailcaravel.com 2Interational Assembly, New United Kingdom of French and Others of Less Importance tothemax@guillotine.com 3Author of “I’m Not in a History Textbook” nocredientals@wikipedia.com Abstract. In Illuminati et Omenati: collectivum studium in argumentum supportantes the takeover de American imperium redacta a schola et electas processerat historiae magistris in Roswell substructio in personalem expirences of a galvanized, gavelled, psychopathic student who was parte fuisse nunc sed velit Omenati viderunt lucem ad maiorem utilitatem et bonum per longissimi investigationis libellis run-finales in nocte scriptum Latini sententias velis videri, cum legit in modo vere peritus Omenati iusto accipere est Ms. Praenuntium's signature; SIGN MY YEARBOOK PLEASE.
The Illuminati was a sect and secret society of 16th-century Spanish heretics founded in 1776 who claimed special religious enlightenment (Wikipedia 9836). This society only existed for a decade, and it was founded by a German who strongly believed in the ideas of the enlightenment and wanted to promote those ideas among elites (Chilton 37). Even from its early beginnings, the Illuminati has its roots in goals to educate extraordinary minds. However, this essay is about the Omenati, not the Illuminati. What caused the split between these two groups over 100 years ago? A new elected dictator that replaced Adam Weishaupt in 1833, Francis Oman, had different ideas for the Illuminati than to educate the elite in Enlightenment ideals. He wished to bring the ideas of Pythagoras and Economics (knowledge) to the students of the world; Oman himself said that “Knowledge is power” under the alias Francis Bacon. Why would he choose this alias? Like the Omenati today, Oman believed in communicating complex messages with a few simple words. For example, “Francis Bacon” literally means “IFrance ubhekeni,” or “France is bacon” in Bantu. The Illuminati, like the Omenati, wishes to enlighten students, but accomplishes this in a more direct manner. For example, one of the few remaining members of the original Illuminati is Madonna, who makes frequent direct references to the Illuminati in her songs “I Love Triangles” and “Illuminate.” Jay-Z, along with British rapper Shameus and the rising K-pop star Edward K-Poppa, blend the ideas of both societies. Shameus and K-Poppa, however, have recently started to turn from both the Illuminati and Omenati to help found the Omenati Resistance Movement (support the effort at omenatiresistance.weebly.com). The founding of this movement further proves that the Illuminati has a history of splits, and the original schism (“The Great Schism”) occurred as the result of different beliefs on how to educate new members. The Illuminati disapproved of Francis Oman visiting schools and sharing his simple yet confusing ideas while being famously quoted as Francis Bacon (the Illuminati is strictly vegan), so the split between the Illuminati and the Omenati occurred. Francis Oman left Spain and came to the Eastern United States where he established a following in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
Especially since the 2000s, Many Roswell teachers and students travel to this Island every spring and summer to share ideas and brainstorm methods of taking over the 13 Original Colonies and eventually creating a united global empire. Traditionally, these ideas are discussed over cups of sweet iced tea at the Salty Dog Café (A History of the World in Six Glasses, 19). This Café, a popular destination in Hilton Head, has recently started manufacturing t-shirts as a clandestine sign of acknowledging membership of the Omenati. Again, Salty Dog Café t-shirts are only worn by members of the Omenati; Roswell High School in Georgia famously has the highest concentration of Salty-Dog-Café-shirt-wearers in the entire world (Anderson 85). Hilton Head is crucial in not only explaining the developing culture but also the beginnings of the Omenati in America. Its unique geography contributes to these explanations. 
The way that the Atlantic Ocean and various other bodies of water surround Hilton Head Island gives the island the unique claim of resembling a heart. Hilton Head, in its name, also mentions “Head.” This island is unique geographically not only because it is surrounded by bodies of water and land, but because it is the “Head” of Hilton and the “heart” of the South East Coast. Being surrounded by bodies supports the idea that the Omenati’s membership is quickly growing. The Omenati’s ideas are attractive; Hilton Head has attracted so many visitors that many do not even know what the Omenati is before they visit. People just come because they are drawn to the mysterious island like a siren. Students, when teachers warn you not to do anything stupid over break, many are trying to warn you about Hilton Head. In 2015, the Hashemi twins investigated Hilton Head for themselves over Spring Break. Here, they encountered Ms. Atalie Omen, a direct ancestor of Francis Oman, and began to understand the true meaning of the island, its popularity, and the Salty Dog Café. Meghan testifies that “I couldn’t fully comprehend what was happening in Hilton Head until I experienced it myself. I saw Ms. Omen while on the Pirate Discovery Boating Adventure; she waved to me and said hello. We talked for a short bit about the weather when I mentioned how nice it was to be out of school for a week because I was so sick of learning about the Enlightenment. Suddenly, the entire boat silenced itself and fog drifted over our pirate ship…” (Hilton not Heading Back 333). In Hilton Head, there are spies everywhere. This is why, one of the bodies of land on the west of Hilton Head, lies Victoria Bluff Wildlife Reserve and Refuge. Victoria Omen, sister to Ms. Atalie Omen, was horrified by his sister’s plans to run for dictator in 2013 and become the next leader of the Omenati. She was so horrified that she founded this refuge for people travelling to Hilton Head to become educated not on totalitarian Enlightenment ideas, but on Omenati Resistance tactics. One of the most well-used methods of Omenati resistance today, laying a picture frame on its side, has been used recently in the Roswell area. Victoria’s resistance of her sisters’ movement has further deepened the geographical crack that runs straight through the middle of Hilton Head Island.
Atalie and Victoria Omen are descendants of Francis Oman, so why are their last names different? When Oman’s movement began to grow, he began to see the Omenati as being made up of multiple hu”men” instead of one single hu”man,” himself. Therefore, as Francis Oman’s movement grew, his last name changed with him and Oman became plural. Despite the change, the lasrgest triangle-shaped land mass, the Saudi Arabian peninsula decided to honor him with a country named in his honor in 1970. Oman, located north of Yeahman, has become a center of Omenati activity similar to Hilton Head. It was here that Ms. Atalie Omen was born. Like other Ominions (members of the Omenati), she made her pilgrimage to Hilton Head Island during spring break one year in middle school. There, she met Ms. Lindsey Boyd, who went to school in Roswell. Atalie decided to move back to Roswell with Ms. Boyd where they attended Roswell High School together. “I always knew they were up to something,” says their former teacher Ned Granville. “Since I’ve been a teacher at Roswell, I’ve never seen someone so excited to dissect a rat” (79). Ms. Omen and Ms. Boyd are both now teachers at Roswell High School and go to Hilton Head together every spring break. Many students that they’ve run into at Hilton Head have declined to comment on their experience, stating that “I’d prefer not to talk about it.” But where are the real roots of the Omenati? Historian John Green (from Crash Course: Secret Societies and Medieval Poisons) says that Ominions like Atalie have roots in the Mongols. Like Genghis Khan, the Ultimate Mongol, Atalie Omen has also started an empire. However, while Genghis Khan’s Empire expanded to be the largest the world has ever seen, Ms. Omen’s currently stretches from the south end of Roswell High School’s G Hall all the way to the edge of the Main Hall. Being Department Chair has given Addie the opportunity to incorporate values of the Omenati into all Social Studies curriculums. Whether or not they realize it, the majority of the students at Roswell High School have become Ominions through sheer exposure. Having Ms. Boyd across the hall helping her incorporate the Omenati into student life has proven a higher advantage because both teachers are well-liked and trusted by Principal Huff. No one, however, sees the future of a Roswell High School run by Ms. Omen. Mr. Huff has been watching her very closely lately and Atalie has recently packed up her picture frames in a counter-resistance effort; while the opposition to her totalitarian rule has recently increased, Boyd Anderson and the Biology Department suspects that she will try to replace Mr. Huff on Friday, May 22, 2015. Also like Genghis Khan, Ms. Omen has frequented the Bermuda Triangle. While scientists outside of Roswell suspect that the mystery surrounding this geographical triangle has to do with strange magnetic forces and currents, the scientists of Roswell believe that Genghis Khan’s vacationing to this triangle left a power vacuum whenever he left; the strict order that he brought to the region would collapse into chaos whenever he left the area. Political figures such as Cuban Fidel Castro have tried to fill this gap, but no one is powerful enough except for Atalie Oman. Her ability to make a British rapper’s nose bleed and scare TIs into silence as they file Omenati paperwork in the back closet gives her the exclusive ability to calm the triangle. However, because Ms. Omen refuses to travel to the Triangle any more due to an argument she got into with Pythagoras, countless plans and ships have disappeared while attempting to cross it. The deadliness of the Bermuda Triangle, in fact, is a parallel to the deadliness of the Omenati. Aslo supporting that Atalie Omen is a descendant of Genghis Khan is the fact that Genghis was raised by wolves according to Milan Sutanker. Sara Singer, an expert on Early Childhood Development of Ominions, explains that, “All great leaders face struggles in their life. [Ms. Omen] was raised by wolves like her ancestor, Genghis Khan. After graduating from Roswell High School, she decided to rise above herchallenges and become a teacher. However, because the government controls the illumanati and teachers are part of the executive branch of government, she had huge challenges to face. Ms. Omen was fed up with the few remaining members of the illumanati that controlled the government, so she overthrew them. This is why there is no proof of the illumanati except through the lyrics of Madonna and Jay Z. The power that Ms. Omen felt when she overthrew the Illuminati gave her the inspiration to become a dictator in the classroom setting. She formed the Roswell Branch of the Omenati undercover and works in secret to face Gengis so no one else has to” (9364). While she is a descendent of Genghis Khan, Ms. Omen also claims to be Irish. However, as part of her Omenati-infused curriculum, the only section of World History that she skips is a section on ancient Ireland. On the other hand, students spend over a week studying the Mongols. Ms. Omen also says that “I think Australians are attractive and they have cool accents” (364). All of these clues have led Omenati expert Lillian “Sweet Angel Face Devil Child” Dukes to conclude that Gengis Khan’s real name is Genghis Leprechaun; he is not only Atalie Omen’s ancestor, but also the ancestor of all leprechauns. This further explains why Ms. Omen has a hatred for Leprechaun’s Day - because her distant cousins have a holiday that celebrates them every year, but Ms. Omen only has International wOMEN’s Day. Every March 8, only China, Russia, Vietnam, and Bulgaria have recognized the date as a national holiday, and the wOMEN of these nations do not even recognize the achievements of Ms. Omen most of the time. This resentment is what has led Ms. Omen to skip the ancient Ireland section of World History, which is significantly the only section devoted to Ireland in the entire textbook. Be proud of your Irishness, Ms. Omen. We’ll celebrate International wOMEN’s Day better next year. Ms. Omen’s fondness of Australians might come from another one of her Mongol ancestors, Ogodei. Phonetically, Ogodei sounds exactly like “Oh, good day” in an Australian accent. Mongolian, Irish, Australian, and Oman ancestry have all made Ms. Omen equal to Genghis Khan because “Genghis/Chinggis Kahn” means “universal ruler.” One day, Ms. Omen hopes to be a universal ruler like her ancestors. Keep plotting in the Salty Dog Café; governments will one day be overthrown by secret societies discussing plans over sweet tea (A History of the World in Six Glasses, 846). The fact that Ms. Omen is related the Genghis Kahn also supports the idea that she is trying to infiltrate the educational system of Roswell High School; she does this through her website Khanacademy.com. On Khan Academy, Ms. Omen disguises her voice and claims to be “Sal,” but it’s easy to see that she’s just trying to fool students everywhere into becoming her amry of Ominions. This isn’t the Children’s Crusade, Ms. Omen (but it could be *gulp*).
Money = evil Money = (evil)2 Money = evil Money Money Evil Evil “Mony Mony” is a song that was remade by Billy Idol that Ms. Omen listened to growing up. Billy Idol was a former member of the illuminati, so because Ms. Omen listened to his music, she is over evil. In other words, she is more than evil. Beware.
(Commutative property) – rearrange the letters in MONEY to get OMENY OMENY = OMEN(Y) = Omen, why? Why are you the root of all evil? She must be the head of the Omenati…The illuminati is also asking Ms. Omen “why…did you overthrow us?” The Illuminati is remembered only by Madonna, Jay Z, and the pyramid and eye on US currency.
– Edward “K-Poppa” Kofa
– Clueless chemistry student that has been brainwashed by too many visits to Hilton Head
– APWH student
– Lillian Dukes Angel-Faced Child
-Andrew Ramswagger, Shameus, Justin Wongguy, Tori Berunningaway
-Ms. Omen
– Ms. Omen
-Guess Who (Ms. Omen)
-Ms. Omen
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