Microsoft Word Elisabeth Kubler-Ross On Death And Dying doc

these things but I am nursing  myself a lot of times. Where at home at least, in the infirmary,  they 
will come in and ask, they really believe I'm a patient.  Here I don't know if I've done this to myself, 
meaning that  I'm not ashamed that I've done it. I'm glad that I have done  everything I possibly 
could for myself, but I have gone a  couple of times when I have gone into intense pain and the  
light hasn't been answered. And also because I didn't think  they would get there in time, if 
anything happened. And I 
 
felt if they do this to me they do this to the others. And part of my making rounds with the patients 
in the past years was really to find out how ill they were and then I would stand in front of that desk 
and say So-and-So needs something for her pain and just waited a half hour... 
 
DOCTOR: How did the nurses respond to that? 
 
PATIENT: T: Well, it varies. The only one I think that resented me very much was the night nurse. 
There was a patient, you see the night before, a patient had come into my room and just gone into 
my bed with me. I happened to know the case and I'm a nurse and I'm not afraid. So I put on the 
light and waited. Well, that night this lady got out of her bed, over the side rail. She should have 
had a belt on. I said nothing to anybody about this. I called the nurse and she and I took her back to 
bed. And then that night when a lady fell out of bed, I was in the room next to her so I got there 
first. You see, I got there much sooner than the nurse did. And then, another young girl, about 
twenty, was dying and she was moaning out loud. So I couldn't sleep those nights anyway. The 
policy in this hospital is you don't get a sleeping pill after three o'clock. I don't know why, but it is. 
And if you felt- If I take a mild chloral hydrate that doesn't give me a hangover the next day, it's 
only going to help me for now. To them the policy means more than you get another hour of sleep, 
or two hours sleep. This is a policy here. The non-habit-forming drugs ;ire treated the same way, 
you know. You can't have- If the doctor orders codeine and a half every four hours, you can't have 
another dosage 'til five. I mean the concept is you can't have a repeat within four hours no matter 
what it is! Whether it's habit-forming or not. We haven't changed our concept. The patient has pain, 
he needs it when he has pain. Not necessarily in four hours, especially if it's not a habit-forming 
drug, 
 
DOCTOR: Are you resentful that there isn't more individual attention? And individual care? Is that 
where your feelings come from? 
 
PATIENT: Well, it isn't on an individual basis. They just don't understand pain. If they haven't had 
any... 
 
DOCTOR: It's the pain that concerns you most? 
 
PATIENT: Well, it concerns me most with the cancer patients that I've been with, you see. And I 
resent the fact that they are trying to keep these people from becoming dope fiends when they are 
not going to live long enough to be one. There's one nurse over on that wing who even holds the 
hypo behind her back to try and dissuade them. Even at the last minute, you know. She's afraid she 
could make a dope addict out of someone. This patient isn't going to live long enough. They are 
entitled to this really, because you can't eat, or sleep, you just exist when you are in that much pain. 
At least with the hypo you are relaxed, you can live, you can enjoy things, you can talk. You are 

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alive. But the other is that you are desperately waiting for someone to be merciful and to give you 
relief. 
 
CHAPLAIN: Has this been something that you've experienced ever since you started coming here? 
 
PATIENT: Yes. Yes it is. I mean I've noticed it. I thought it was typical of certain floors because 
the same group of nurses are on. It's something in us, that we just don't seem to respect pain 
anymore. 
 
CHAPLAIN: How do you account for it? 
 
PATIENT: I think they are busy. I hope that's what they are. 
 
DOCTOR: What's this? 
 
PATIENT: But I have walked and seen them talking there and then see them go on breaks. And it 
makes me furious. When the nurse goes on a break and the aide comes back and tells you that the 
nurse is downstairs with the key and you have to wait. When that person wanted to have her 
medication even before that nurse went down for her meal. And I think there should be somebody 
in charge of that floor that could come and give you the pain medicine, that you shouldn't have to 
sweat through another half hour before anybody comes up. And sometimes it's forty-five minutes 
before they come up. And they certainly aren't going to take care of you first. They are going to 
answer the phone and look at the new hours, and new orders that the doctors left. They are not 
going to do this the first thing, find out if somebody asked for pain medication. 
 
DOCTOR: To come off, do you mind if I...switch the topic? I would like to use our time for 
looking at many different aspects. Would that be okay with you? 
 
PATIENT: Surely. 
 
DOCTOR: You mentioned that you have seen or observed a room with a five-year-old and nine-
year-old youngster dying. How do you conceive of this? Do you have a picture, do you have 
fantasies about this? 
 
PATIENT: Do you mean how do I accept it? 
 
DOCTOR: Yes. You kind of, answered this question partially already. That you don't want to be, 
you don't like to be alone. That when you are in a crisis, whether this is pain or diarrhea or anything 
else you like to have somebody come through. That means you don't like to be left alone. The other 
one is the pain. If you have to die you would like it to be without agony and pain and loneliness. 
 
PATIENT: That's very true. 
 
DOCTOR: What other things do you think are important? That we should consider? I don't mean 
just with you but with other patients. 
 

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