Microsoft Word Socialized Choices 31-12 pod docx

Epilogue 
209 
3 
Considerations on research based on memories 
This research is largely built on collecting and understanding the memories of 
Dutch mothers. A criticism of this type of research is the selectiveness of 
memory, which may influence their answers. People may adjust their memories 
to justify their present behaviour (Kroska and Elman, 2009). In the qualitative 
research, I found most mothers to be remarkably open and capable of looking 
back and providing a narrative of their lives. Nonetheless, even if their stories 
were not accurate, these memories, which were easily accessible to the mothers’ 
minds, were perceived by the mothers as important. People’s narratives about 
their own lives do influence their subsequent steps, for example their perceptions 
and evaluation of the course of their life so far, including favourite or unfortunate 
occurrences. And just from these memorised stories, I was able to discriminate 
some specific patterns that were of interest while investigating the discerning 
origins of the labour market behaviour of Dutch mothers. Irrespective of 
individuals’ own awareness of the effect of their memories, memories shape 
present behaviour.  
4 Engendered 
micro-interactional 
practices 
In general, relatively few contemporary social studies have aimed at uncovering 
the prevalent assumptions in operation on the social interaction process of 
parenting. This might be due to the present popularity of quantitative studies 
based on large-scale representative surveys in academic journals, in which the 
social reality is presented in a well-defined and structured way. This type of 
research is not particularly apt for revealing routine and contradictory processes 
that characterise social interactions at a micro level, such as unquestioned and 
self-evident practices that unintentionally might lead to unfavourable 
consequences for the people involved. Research of the micro-interactional 
processes helps to understand and reveal the construction, reconstruction and 
consolidation of people’s social realities. As is shown in this study, the social 
interactional order between men and women is especially interesting, since taken 
for granted divisions of labour might stand in the way of the further emancipation 
of mothers and fathers, for example in their frequently under-discussed decisions 
about whether a mother should reduce her number of work hours or give up her 
work entirely.  
This study has revealed certain practices concerning how Dutch mothers 
display gender compensating strategies, “doing gender”, which helps to sustain 
their social gender structure (West and Zimmerman, 1987). Throughout the week 
these mothers equally share the paid and unpaid work with their spouses, but at 
the weekend they release their partners from household chores and upbringing 
matters, so that their husbands are able to re-obtain their masculinity while 
undertaking ‘manly’ leisure activities. In addition, the qualitative findings 
revealed that Dutch mothers’ awareness of gender issues, social constructs of 

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Socialized Choices - Labour Market Behaviour of Dutch Mothers 
210 
masculinity and femininity, appear almost absent. On the contrary, the mothers 
interviewed rather emphasised the individual or ‘natural’ aspects of the daily 
divisions of work with their partners. Nevertheless, the stories of mothers clearly 
revealed social practices and personal perceptions of how things are, must be or 
ought to be done, along familiar and recognisable gender-lines. More qualitative 
in-depth research that includes both partners and is especially aimed at revealing 
the often subtle, complex and hidden engendering social practices, which have 
unintended consequences for both partners, might help the further emancipation 
of both. At the same time this approach might put the narrative of free choice into 
a wider social perspective.  
In addition, while in this study I have only addressed mothers, it would be 
interesting to employ a similar research among fathers to reveal the invisible 
structures, both shared and personal, relating to their decisions and daily practices 
towards fathering and their labour market activity. The continuation of 
engendered practices among parents may unintentionally block their way to 
becoming equally involved partners in family life. Since fathers’ labour market 
activity is much more homogeneous than among mothers, a starting point for 
research could be their different number of hours spent on household affairs and 
child-raising practices.      
5 
Collective memories and collectiveness  
Finally, a further worthwhile line of investigation would be to understand more 
about how and which collective or joint memories bind generations. In my 
research I have only moderately shed some light on how individual memories like 
‘father on the sofa’ and ‘a consenting mother’ can be defined as collective 
memories. Clearly, sensitivity for the social aspect of individuality, the communal 
experience, has lost popularity in public discourse. Communal experience is that 
part of experience shared with other people - the objective reality as internalized 
by individuals as well as by their fellows. I would advocate bringing the social 
aspect of individuality back into public discourse, giving greater acknowledgment 
to the social connectedness of individuals.  However, we need more social 
scientific research to disclose the commonality of individual experiences and 
perceptions – studies that are based, for example, on multiple life stories of 
people belonging to the same generation, trying to find the collective conceptual 
levers with which to lift the social, communal and shared experiences and 
constraints to the surface. This would possibly bring a deeper layer to the public 
debate, where potential unwarranted and unintentional social aspects of individual 
life could be discussed in a more substantive manner than is done in most 
contemporary public discourse. This is especially true of gender issues in general, 
and mothering in particular. 

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