Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others



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Power Questions Build Relationships Win New Business and Influence

best you can do?”


Suggestions for How to Use This Question
“Is this the best you can do?”
You should reserve this question for occasions when it is especially desirable for
someone to do their very best and push themselves to their strained and stretched limits.
Often, we settle for mediocrity when we do need our best. Mediocrity is the enemy of
greatness. Like Gresham's law: “Bad money drives out good.” Companies give lousy
customer service, yet they wonder why they are losing market share. College students
slide by with half-hearted efforts, but want to be offered the plum jobs when they
graduate.
Apathy is rampant.
This question can spur the other person to greater heights and make them focus on
what their best really is.
When to use the question
When you've asked someone at work to complete a task or project for you.
When trying to get a child to raise their effort to the next level.
Best of all, when you're working on a project, whatever it is—a writing
assignment, responding to an RFP, preparing a vision statement for a company, or
even working in your garden. Ask yourself, “Is this really the best I can do?”
Alternative versions of the question
“Is there still room for further improvement?”
“In what ways could this be even better?”
Follow-up questions
“What's stopping you?”
“Do you think this would be worth your ‘best’?”
“What's the best part of this? What can be improved?”
Notes
1.
 Source:
www.gwu.edu/~nsarchiv/coldwar/interviews/episode-
15/lord1.html
.


12
No Gorilla Dust
It is one of my prized possessions—a book inscribed by Richard Cornuelle.
It's called Reclaiming the American Dream. (President Obama liked the
phrase so much he used it for the title of his book.)
“To my good friend with my very best wishes.” It was signed “Dick”.
Well, a moment of truth. He was being very kind. We weren't really good
friends, but we were close working acquaintances. You understand, don't
you, the difference?
The book made an indelible impression on me—as did the author. The
book took the country by storm and made the New York Times Best Seller
list for a number of weeks. It had a freshness of energy and boldness of
renewal. It ignited a spark that set the human soul on fire.
I was working on a project to find funding for college students through
private banks instead of borrowing from the government. Dick Cornuelle
was spearheading the effort. Working with him, I felt I heard trumpets
signaling a cavalry charge.
He died recently. He was a giant, a sturdy tree reaching for the heavens.
In its day, his book was somewhat shocking. But it turned out to be a new
doctrine for many.
The book makes the case that any program for social improvement that is
dependent on government funding is ill-advised and likely to be corrupt. He
says that the government talks about brilliant results, little interference, and
generous funding. (I am reminded that Hamlet assures us that the devil may
assume a pleasing shape.)
Cornuelle espoused the role of individuals and voluntary nonprofits. His
book became the Magna Carta of individual responsibility —a secular
scripture.
It was Cornuelle who coined the term Independent Sector. He described
the way you must deal with urgent social needs without government


involvement. The concept was evolutionary, but the impact would be
revolutionary.
He loved to quote De Tocqueville. I am in his office one day when he
pulls out a sheath of papers and reads to me how De Tocqueville claims that
our country has a genius for solving problems without government
involvement.
Our program for funding scholarship assistance to college students
through private banking is a tremendous success. In a very short time, we
enlist more than 400 banks. One of the great delights in life is achieving
something that others tell you is impossible to accomplish.
Next, Cornuelle wants to take on housing for the disadvantaged. He is
determined. Unwavering. Resolute, as only Cornuelle can be. Confident as
a Methodist with four aces.
“I want an answer,” he says to me one day. “And I want it now.”
Cornuelle wants me to make an unequivocal commitment to the project.
“Are you with me on this or aren't you? I want a yes or a no.” He has a
way of looking right through you, penetrating into your inner soul.
But I have a problem. I love the guy and I am dedicated to his philosophy.
But there is another job looming, the possibility of a move to another part of
the country, and also some graduate work. I pause.
I'll tell you my response in a moment. Let me first explain about Gorilla
Dust. You've heard the expression.
When two male gorillas engage in a battle, there's quite a demonstration.
They circle each other, and circle again, and again.
In the process, they rake their hands in the dirt, scooping up handfuls that
when thrown in the air make quite a dust storm. This is Gorilla Dust.
Nothing decisive happens. The gorillas just keep circling and circling.
Cornuelle's question is the right one to ask. He wants a yes or a no. And
no Gorilla Dust. He wants to know whether I want a ticket on his speeding
bus.
Often when asked a direct question, the person you're calling on will
throw up Gorilla Dust. They don't want to give you a direct answer. They
circle around and around.
It's your job to determine whether they are on board, whether the answer
is yes or no—or are they just throwing up gorilla dust. The only way to


elicit a clear response is to ask a closed-ended question. Is it yes or no?
It's decision time.
I've got to give this evangelist of small government an answer. Do I go
with him on this next adventure or do I spend the rest of my life on a thin
diet of Pablum?
“Yes, yes. I'm with you all the way, Dick.”
What if Cornuelle had made a statement such as: “I would like you to
consider joining me on this new venture.” Or asked the question, “What do
you think about the possibility of working on this new program?” Or
something of the sort. That would have led to a pleasant discussion but to
no decisive action.
That's not what he wanted. He wanted “Is it yes or no?” This is why a
closed-ended question is precisely right in certain situations.
His life was a triumph. We enjoy in this country the painstaking, hands-on
work, in thought and deed, of the sector to which Cornuelle affixed the
proud adjective, “independent.”
When you want a clear, unequivocal answer, ask an unequivocal,
closed-ended question. Ask, “Is it a yes or a no?”

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