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Poulaphouca Poulaphouca
Phoucaphouca Phoucaphouca.
THE NYMPH: (With wide fingers) O, infamy!
BLOOM: I was precocious. Youth. The fauna. I
sacrificed to the god of the forest. The flowers that bloom
in the spring. It was pairing time. Capillary attraction is a
natural phenomenon. Lotty Clarke, flaxenhaired, I saw at
her night toilette through illclosed curtains with poor
papa’s operaglasses: The wanton ate grass wildly. She
rolled downhill at Rialto bridge to tempt me with her
flow of animal spirits. She climbed their crooked tree and I
... A saint couldn’t resist it. The demon possessed me.
Besides, who saw?
(Staggering Bob, a whitepolled calf, thrusts a ruminating head
with humid nostrils through the foliage.)
STAGGERING BOB: (LARGE TEARDROPS
ROLLING FROM HIS PROMINENT EYES,
SNIVELS) Me. Me see.
BLOOM: Simply satisfying a need I ... (With pathos)
No girl would when I went girling. Too ugly. They
wouldn’t play ...
(High on Ben Howth through rhododendrons a nannygoat
passes, plumpuddered, buttytailed, dropping currants.)
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THE NANNYGOAT: (Bleats) Megeggaggegg!
Nannannanny!
BLOOM: (Hatless, flushed, covered with burrs of
thistledown and gorsespine) Regularly engaged.
Circumstances alter cases. (He gazes intently downwards on
the water) Thirtytwo head over heels per second. Press
nightmare. Giddy Elijah. Fall from cliff. Sad end of
government printer’s clerk. (Through silversilent summer air
the dummy of Bloom, rolled in a mummy, rolls roteatingly from
the Lion’s Head cliff into the purple waiting waters.)
THE DUMMYMUMMY: Bbbbblllllblblblblobschbg!
(Far out in the bay between bailey and kish lights the Erin’s
King sails, sending a broadening plume of coalsmoke from her
funnel towards the land.)
COUNCILLOR NANNETII: (Alone on deck, in dark
alpaca, yellowkitefaced, his hand in his waistcoat opening,
declaims) When my country takes her place among the
nations of the earth, then, and not till then, let my epitaph
be written. I have ...
BLOOM: Done. Prff!
THE NYMPH: (Loftily) We immortals, as you saw
today, have not such a place and no hair there either. We
are stonecold and pure. We eat electric light. (She arches her
body in lascivious crispation, placing her forefinger in her mouth)
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Spoke to me. Heard from behind. How then could you
...?
BLOOM: (Pawing the heather abjectly) O, I have been a
perfect pig. Enemas too I have administered. One third of
a pint of quassia to which add a tablespoonful of rocksalt.
Up the fundament. With Hamilton Long’s syringe, the
ladies’ friend.
THE NYMPH: In my presence. The powderpuff. (She
blushes and makes a knee) And the rest!
BLOOM: (Dejected) Yes. Peccavi! I have paid homage
on that living altar where the back changes name. (With
sudden fervour) For why should the dainty scented jewelled
hand, the hand that rules ...?
(Figures wind serpenting in slow woodland pattern around the
treestems, cooeeing)
THE VOICE OF KITTY: (In the thicket) Show us one
of them cushions.
THE VOICE OF FLORRY: Here.
(A grouse wings clumsily through the underwood.)
THE VOICE OF LYNCH: (In the thicket) Whew!
Piping hot!
THE VOICE OF ZOE: (From the thicket) Came from a
hot place.
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THE VOICE OF VIRAG: (A birdchief, bluestreaked and
feathered in war panoply with his assegai, striding through a
crackling canebrake over beechmast and acorns) Hot! Hot! Ware
Sitting Bull!
BLOOM: It overpowers me. The warm impress of her
warm form. Even to sit where a woman has sat, especially
with divaricated thighs, as though to grant the last favours,
most especially with previously well uplifted white sateen
coatpans. So womanly, full. It fills me full.
THE WATERFALL:
Phillaphulla Poulaphouca
Poulaphouca Poulaphouca.
THE YEWS: Ssh! Sister, speak!
THE NYMPH: (Eyeless, in nun’s white habit, coif and
hugewinged wimple, softly, with remote eyes) Tranquilla
convent. Sister Agatha. Mount Carmel. The apparitions of
Knock and Lourdes. No more desire. (She reclines her head,
sighing) Only the ethereal. Where dreamy creamy gull
waves o’er the waters dull.
(Bloom half rises. His back trouserbutton snaps.)
THE BUTTON: Bip!
(Two sluts of the coombe dance rainily by, shawled, yelling
flatly.)
THE SLUTS:
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O, Leopold lost the pin of his drawers
He didn’t know what to do,
To keep it up,
To keep it up.
BLOOM: (Coldly) You have broken the spell. The last
straw. If there were only ethereal where would you all be,
postulants and novices? Shy but willing like an ass pissing.
THE YEWS: (Their silverfoil of leaves precipitating, their
skinny arms aging and swaying) Deciduously!
THE NYMPH: (Her features hardening, gropes in the folds
of her habit) Sacrilege! To attempt my virtue! (A large moist
stain appears on her robe) Sully my innocence! You are not
fit to touch the garment of a pure woman. (She clutches
again in her robe) Wait. Satan, you’ll sing no more
lovesongs. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. (She draws a
poniard and, clad in the sheathmail of an elected knight of nine,
strikes at his loins) Nekum!
BLOOM: (Starts up, seizes her hand) Hoy! Nebrakada!
Cat o’ nine lives! Fair play, madam. No pruningknife. The
fox and the grapes, is it? What do you lack with your
barbed wire? Crucifix not thick enough? (He clutches her
veil) A holy abbot you want or Brophy, the lame gardener,
or the spoutless statue of the watercarrier, or good mother
Alphonsus, eh Reynard?
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