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Ulysses 

917 


of

 1305 


cart. Buy a bucket or sell your pump. (Loudly) Can you do 

a man’s job? 

BLOOM: Eccles street ... 

BELLO: (Sarcastically) I wouldn’t hurt your feelings for 

the world but there’s a man of brawn in possession there. 

The tables are turned, my gay young fellow! He is 

something like a fullgrown outdoor man. Well for you, 

you muff, if you had that weapon with knobs and lumps 

and warts all over it. He shot his bolt, I can tell you! Foot 

to foot, knee to knee, belly to belly, bubs to breast! He’s 

no eunuch. A shock of red hair he has sticking out of him 

behind like a furzebush! Wait for nine months, my lad! 

Holy ginger, it’s kicking and coughing up and down in 

her guts already! That makes you wild, don’t it? Touches 

the spot? (He spits in contempt) Spittoon! 

BLOOM: I was indecently treated, I ... Inform the 

police. Hundred pounds. Unmentionable. I ... 

BELLO: Would if you could, lame duck. A downpour 

we want not your drizzle. 

BLOOM: To drive me mad! Moll! I forgot! Forgive! 

Moll ... We ... Still ... 

BELLO: (Ruthlessly) No, Leopold Bloom, all is changed 

by woman’s will since you slept horizontal in Sleepy 

Hollow your night of twenty years. Return and see. 




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(Old Sleepy Hollow calls over the wold.) 

SLEEPY HOLLOW: Rip van Wink! Rip van Winkle! 

BLOOM:  (In tattered mocassins with a rusty fowlingpiece, 

tiptoeing, fingertipping, his haggard bony bearded face peering 

through the diamond panes, cries out) I see her! It’s she! The 

first night at Mat Dillon’s! But that dress, the green! And 

her hair is dyed gold and he ... 

BELLO:  (Laughs mockingly) That’s your daughter, you 

owl, with a Mullingar student. 

(Milly Bloom, fairhaired, greenvested, slimsandalled, her blue 

scarf in the seawind simply swirling, breaks from the arms of her 

lover and calls, her young eyes wonderwide.) 

MILLY: My! It’s Papli! But, O Papli, how old you’ve 

grown! 

BELLO: Changed, eh? Our whatnot, our writingtable 



where we never wrote, aunt Hegarty’s armchair, our 

classic reprints of old masters. A man and his menfriends 

are living there in clover. The Cuckoos’ Rest! Why not? 

How many women had you, eh, following them up dark 

streets, flatfoot, exciting them by your smothered grunts, 

what, you male prostitute? Blameless dames with parcels of 

groceries. Turn about. Sauce for the goose, my gander O. 

BLOOM: They ... I ... 




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BELLO:  (Cuttingly) Their heelmarks will stamp the 

Brusselette carpet you bought at Wren’s auction. In their 

horseplay with Moll the romp to find the buck flea in her 

breeches they will deface the little statue you carried home 

in the rain for art for art’ sake. They will violate the secrets 

of your bottom drawer. Pages will be torn from your 

handbook of astronomy to make them pipespills. And they 

will spit in your ten shilling brass fender from Hampton 

Leedom’s. 

BLOOM: Ten and six. The act of low scoundrels. Let 

me go. I will return. I will prove ... 

A VOICE: Swear! 



(Bloom clenches his fists and crawls forward, a bowieknife 

between his teeth.) 

BELLO: As a paying guest or a kept man? Too late. 

You have made your secondbest bed and others must lie 

in it. Your epitaph is written. You are down and out and 

don’t you forget it, old bean. 

BLOOM: Justice! All Ireland versus one! Has nobody 

...? (He bites his thumb) 

BELLO: Die and be damned to you if you have any 

sense of decency or grace about you. I can give you a rare 

old wine that’ll send you skipping to hell and back. Sign a 

will and leave us any coin you have! If you have none see 



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you damn well get it, steal it, rob it! We’ll bury you in our 

shrubbery jakes where you’ll be dead and dirty with old 

Cuck Cohen, my stepnephew I married, the bloody old 

gouty procurator and sodomite with a crick in his neck, 

and my other ten or eleven husbands, whatever the 

buggers’ names were, suffocated in the one cesspool. (He 



explodes in a loud phlegmy laugh) We’ll manure you, Mr 

Flower! (He pipes scoffingly) Byby, Poldy! Byby, Papli! 

BLOOM:  (Clasps his head) My willpower! Memory! I 

have sinned! I have suff ... 



(He weeps tearlessly) 

BELLO: (Sneers) Crybabby! Crocodile tears! 



(Bloom, broken, closely veiled for the sacrifice, sobs, his face to 

the earth. The passing bell is heard. Darkshawled figures of the 

circumcised, in sackcloth and ashes, stand by the wailing wall. M. 

Shulomowitz, Joseph Goldwater, Moses Herzog, Harris 

Rosenberg, M. Moisel, J. Citron, Minnie Watchman, P. 

Mastiansky, The Reverend Leopold Abramovitz, Chazen. With 

swaying arms they wail in pneuma over the recreant Bloom.) 

THE CIRCUMCISED: (In dark guttural chant as they 



cast dead sea fruit upon him, no flowers) Shema Israel Adonai 

Elohenu Adonai Echad. 


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