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Ulysses 940
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BLOOM: (Points to his hand) That weal there is an accident. Fell and cut it twentytwo years ago. I was sixteen. ZOE: I see, says the blind man. Tell us news. STEPHEN: See? Moves to one great goal. I am twentytwo. Sixteen years ago he was twentytwo too. Sixteen years ago I twentytwo tumbled. Twentytwo years ago he sixteen fell off his hobbyhorse. (He winces) Hurt my hand somewhere. Must see a dentist. Money?
FLORRY: What? (A hackneycar, number three hundred and twentyfour, with a gallantbuttocked mare, driven by James Barton, Harmony Avenue, Donnybrook, trots past. Blazes Boylan and Lenehan sprawl swaying on the sideseats. The Ormond boots crouches behind on the axle. Sadly over the crossblind Lydia Douce and Mina Kennedy gaze.) THE BOOTS: (Jogging, mocks them with thumb and wriggling wormfingers) Haw haw have you the horn? (Bronze by gold they whisper.) ZOE: (To Florry) Whisper. (They whisper again) Ulysses 941
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(Over the well of the car Blazes Boylan leans, his boater straw set sideways, a red flower in his mouth. Lenehan in yachtsman’s cap and white shoes officiously detaches a long hair from Blazes Boylan’s coat shoulder.) LENEHAN: Ho! What do I here behold? Were you brushing the cobwebs off a few quims? BOYLAN: (Seated, smiles) Plucking a turkey. LENEHAN: A good night’s work. BOYLAN: (Holding up four thick bluntungulated fingers, winks) Blazes Kate! Up to sample or your money back. (He holds out a forefinger) Smell that. LENEHAN: (Smells gleefully) Ah! Lobster and mayonnaise. Ah! ZOE AND FLORRY: (Laugh together) Ha ha ha ha. BOYLAN: (Jumps surely from the car and calls loudly for all
BLOOM: (In flunkey’s prune plush coat and kneebreeches, buff stockings and powdered wig) I’m afraid not, sir. The last articles ... BOYLAN: (Tosses him sixpence) Here, to buy yourself a gin and splash. (He hangs his hat smartly on a peg of Bloom’s antlered head) Show me in. I have a little private business with your wife, you understand? Ulysses 942
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BLOOM: Thank you, sir. Yes, sir. Madam Tweedy is in her bath, sir. MARION: He ought to feel himself highly honoured.
and dry me. I’m in my pelt. Only my new hat and a carriage sponge. BOYLAN: (A merry twinkle in his eye) Topping! BELLA: What? What is it?
MARION: Let him look, the pishogue! Pimp! And scourge himself! I’ll write to a powerful prostitute or Bartholomona, the bearded woman, to raise weals out on him an inch thick and make him bring me back a signed and stamped receipt. BOYLAN: (clasps himself) Here, I can’t hold this little lot much longer. (he strides off on stiff cavalry legs) BELLA: (Laughing) Ho ho ho ho. BOYLAN: (To Bloom, over his shoulder) You can apply your eye to the keyhole and play with yourself while I just go through her a few times. BLOOM: Thank you, sir. I will, sir. May I bring two men chums to witness the deed and take a snapshot? (He holds out an ointment jar) Vaseline, sir? Orangeflower ...? Lukewarm water ...? Ulysses 943
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KITTY: (From the sofa) Tell us, Florry. Tell us. What. (Florry whispers to her. Whispering lovewords murmur, liplapping loudly, poppysmic plopslop.) MINA KENNEDY: (Her eyes upturned) O, it must be like the scent of geraniums and lovely peaches! O, he simply idolises every bit of her! Stuck together! Covered with kisses! LYDIA DOUCE: (Her mouth opening) Yumyum. O, he’s carrying her round the room doing it! Ride a cockhorse. You could hear them in Paris and New York. Like mouthfuls of strawberries and cream. KITTY: (Laughing) Hee hee hee. BOYLAN’S VOICE: (Sweetly, hoarsely, in the pit of his
MARION’S VOICE: (Hoarsely, sweetly, rising to her throat) O! Weeshwashtkissinapooisthnapoohuck? BLOOM: (His eyes wildly dilated, clasps himself) Show! Hide! Show! Plough her! More! Shoot! BELLA, ZOE, FLORRY, KITTY: Ho ho! Ha ha! Hee hee! LYNCH: (Points) The mirror up to nature. (He laughs) Hu hu hu hu hu!
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