The question has been
fully answered. The writer has clearly provided their
opinion. This can be seen in:
The introduction
The
second body paragraph
The conclusion
The two opinions have also been discussed. The first opinion in body
paragraph 1 and the second opinion in body paragraph 2.
Coherence and Cohesion
The childcare essay is well-organised and structured.
There is a good introduction that introduces the topic and clearly identifies
the two arguments. The writer then gives their opinion (this can be left until
the conclusion but it can be a good idea
to present it upfront so no
confusion arises).
Those that support care through grandparents cite several reasons
for this.
Two supporting arguments are then provided.
Then another sentence clearly introduces the next argument (which is also
the writer's opinion):
Despite these benefits, there are clear advantages of using
professional carers.
Three supporting arguments are then provided.
Transitions, transitional phrases, and conjunctions are also used well to lead
the reader through the
arguments and link ideas, such as
Firstly; Another
important consideration is; Despite these benefits; Last but not least; and;
thus; although etc.
There is also good use of referencing to avoid repeating nouns or other
phrases. For example:
"...some people critisise this and..."
Vocabulary
There is a good mix of accurate vocabulary (some of which is
topic-
related
), such as
important consideration; financial burdens; professional
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