Microsoft Word Elisabeth Kubler-Ross On Death And Dying doc

much, but I only know, what I remember is, that he was sick with the flu during the flu epidemic in 
1918 when he passed away. So I can't say too much about my father. 
 
DOCTOR: To complain then is to be equated with passing away because they both only 
complained just before they passed away. 
 
PATIENT: That's right, that's right! 
 
DOCTOR: But, you know, there are lots of people who express their aches and pains and don't pass 
away. 
 
PATIENT: I know that. I have that sister-in-law, the chaplain knows her too. 
 
CHAPLAIN: Another aspect of Mrs. L.'s hospitalization is that she is often looked up to by other 
patients. And then she finds herself as a kind of a comforter to the others. 
 
PATIENT: Oh, I don't know 
 
CHAPLAIN: And I sometimes wonder, don't you wish you had someone you could talk to, who 
could comfort you, instead of them always leaning on you? 
 
PATIENT: I don't feel I need comfort, Chaplain. And I sure don't want pity for anything because I 
don't feel as if I should be 
 
pitied. I feel as if there's nothing been that bad to complain about. Only thing I complain to is my 
poor doctors. 
 
DOCTOR: You feel sorry for them? You shouldn't pity them either because they don't want pity, 
do they? 
 
PATIENT: I know they don't want pity but I figure, gee, when they walk out of the rooms and hear 
everybody's aches and pains, I bet they would really like to take off someplace. The nurses too. 
 
DOCTOR: Sometimes they do. 
 
 
PATIENT: Well, I don't blame them if they do. 
 
DOCTOR: You say you cooperate with them. Do you ever withhold information because you hate 
to burden them? 
 
PATIENT: No, no. I figure I'll tell them what's really there and that's the only way they have to 
work. How can they cure anybody if you don't tell them what's wrong? 
 
DOCTOR: Do you have any feelings of physical discomfort? 
 
PATIENT: I feel wonderful, but I sure wish I could do what I want to do. 

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DOCTOR: What is it that you would like to do? 
 
 
PATIENT: Getup and walk and go right straight home and walk all the way. 
 
DOCTOR: And then what? 
 
PATIENT: Well, I don't know what I'd do when I'd get there, probably go to bed. (Laughter) But I 
feel real good. I don't have any aches or pains at this moment at all. 
 
DOCTOR: And that's been since yesterday? 
 
PATIENT: Well, I had that tingling sensation in my legs up until yesterday and it left. It wasn't bad 
as far as that goes but I was a little concerned at home because I wasn't able to walk in the last 
couple of weeks as well as I have previously. I know I was pushing myself which probably, if I had 
admitted it in the beginning and had called for help and taken care of it, then it wouldn't have gotten 
to this stage that it was in. But I always think that the next day is going to be better. 
 
DOCTOR: So you wait a bit and hope it disappears. 
 
PATIENT: I wait and wait until I see it isn't getting better. Then I call. 
 
(P214) 
 
DOCTOR: And you are forced to face it. 
 
PATIENT: I'm forced to face the facts. 
 
DOCTOR: How is it going to be when you are at the end of your days? Will you just be taking it 
the same way? 
 
PATIENT: I'll wait until that day comes. I hope so. From taking care of my mother before she 
entered the hospital, I would say that she took it as it came. 
 
DOCTOR: Did she know? 
 
PATIENT: She did not know that she had leukemia. 
 
DOCTOR: No? 
 
PATIENT: The doctors told me that I shouldn't tell her. 
 
DOCTOR: What do you think of that? Do you have any feelings about that? 
 
 

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PATIENT: Well, I felt bad that she didn't know because she was telling the doctor what was wrong 
with her. And she was, I think, working against the doctors by not knowing. Because she was 
telling him she had gallbladder trouble and she was doctoring herself for gallbladder trouble and 
taking medication that would be no good for anybody in her condition. 
 
DOCTOR: Why do you think they didn't tell her? 
 
PATIENT: Well, I don't know, I have no idea. I asked the doctor when he told me what would 
happen if she knew and he said no, she shouldn't know. 
 
DOCTOR: How old were you then? 
 
PATIENT: Well, I was married then. I was about thirty-seven years old. 
 
DOCTOR: But you did what the doctor told you. 
 
PATIENT: I did what the doctor told me. 
 
DOCTOR: So she died without really knowing or without talking about it. 
 
PATIENT: That's right.' 
 
DOCTOR: It's very hard to know then how she took it. 
 
PATIENT: That's right. 
 
DOCTOR: What do you think is easier for a patient? 
 
PATIENT: Oh, think that's very individual. As far as I'm concerned, I'm glad I know what I got. 
 
DOCTOR: Um hm. And your father 
 
PATIENT: And my father, he knew what he had. He had the flu. 
 
I've seen different patients that are ill that didn't know what they had. The chaplain knows the last 
one. She knew what she had but she didn't know she was going to die. That was Mrs. J. She was 
putting up a great battle, she was determined she was going home with her husband. Her family 
kept it from her, how bad she really was, and she didn't suspect anything all along. Maybe to her 
that was a better way for her to go. I don't know. I think it's according to the individual. I think the 
doctors would know the best way to handle something like that. I think that they can judge a person 
best as to how they can take it. 
 
DOCTOR: Then they do it on an individual level? 
 
PATIENT: I think so. 
 

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