Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others

parties, the relationship deepens and grows. There is increased emotional
resonance. You become more relevant to each other. Bonded.
A CEO I consulted with several years ago told me something I have never
forgotten. It is the key to being relevant.
“Remember,” he said, “When you're considered part of a client's growth
and profits, they will never get enough of you. But when you're viewed as
just a cost to be managed, they can cut you anytime.”
You must connect with the other person's agenda of essential priorities
and goals. Then you will be seen as part of growth and profits. As an
investment, not a cost.
When the other person is distracted or disengaged, or when you just
feel you are not talking about their highest priority issues, you must
ask: “What's the most important thing we should be discussing
today?”

---

Suggestions for How to Use This Question
“What's the most important thing we should
be discussing today?”
If what you are talking about does not align with the other person's most urgent
priorities, they are going to wish they were elsewhere. You will dramatically increase
your relevance and influence if you spend more of your conversations focused on what
is most important to the other person.
When to use the question
Here are some occasions when you may need to refocus the discussion:
In update meetings with a client or your boss.
When making a sales pitch.
With your spouse or significant other.
Alternative versions of the question
“What would you like to talk about today?”
“What's on your mind?”
“We've got 20 minutes left . . . is there anything we haven't covered that we ought
to discuss today?”
“What aren't we talking about that we should be addressing?”
Follow-up questions
“Can you say more about that?”
“What's behind that?”
“Why is this important to you now?”

---