Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others

33
The Heart of the Matter
When someone's leg and knee begin bouncing up and down, the eyes
wander, and the person has no questions—it's time to do something. You're
in trouble.
I'm meeting with Kathleen, the co-chair of a large professional services
firm. Our session was set up weeks earlier. The agenda is to review progress
on a project I am doing for her company. I had prepared carefully, and had
brought Kathleen a crisp briefing document. It summarizes our progress. It
is clear and succinct. The paper is a heavy, impressive stock.
About 20 minutes into the discussion, I realize I have lost Kathleen. She
just isn't there. She's fidgeting. She isn't asking good follow-up questions. It
gets worse. She is starting to eye her BlackBerry.
You know that look. You dread it. The other person tries to show they are
listening to you as they glance furtively down at their lap, where their
smartphone is cradled. Kathleen's mind is somewhere else.
I pause, and let about five seconds pass—an eternity when you're sitting
with a busy executive.
“Kathleen,” I ask, “What's the most important thing we should be
discussing this morning?”
She sits upright, suddenly more alert.
I wait.
“Hmmm. Well,” she slowly begins, “this is helpful, getting your update. I
value this summary and the suggestions you're making. It's very well done.”
“Good, thank you. But we've got another 30 minutes scheduled together.
What should we focus on?”
My client looks up at me, frowning and shaking her head. She sighs. “I
just don't think my team is on board. They aren't getting it.”

---

“Say more about that. When you tell me, ‘they are not on board,’ what
symptoms are you seeing? What's not working?”
We shift gears. The next half hour we spend talking about the issues with
her team. I ask several more power questions, and Kathleen reveals still
more about the situation. I suggest some preliminary ideas to get her team
better aligned with the strategy. We leave the rest of the project update for
another occasion.
The tidy briefing package I prepared barely saw the light of day. It
probably got what it deserved.
As I get up to leave, Kathleen asks me, “Can we regroup next week on
this? You are asking some very good questions, and your suggestions are
excellent. I want to chew this over a bit more with you.”
Fast-forward. Based on the germ of our conversation six months ago,
Kathleen is making some far-reaching changes to her top team. She also
engages me to work with them one-on-one to improve their effectiveness.
When I asked, “What is the most important thing we should be discussing
today?” this simple, direct question helped set Kathleen on a path to
improve her organization. It also deepened my relationship with her and her
senior team.
When time is spent together on issues that are truly important to both