Author: Various Release Date: September 11, 2004 [EBook #13437]



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the street.


On reaching home, he sat down at once at the table, sipped his

cabbage-soup up quickly, and swallowed a bit of beef with onions,

never noticing their taste, and gulping down everything with flies and

anything else which the Lord happened to send at the moment. When he

saw that his stomach was beginning to swell, he rose from the table,

and copied papers which he had brought home. If there happened to be

none, he took copies for himself, for his own gratification,

especially if the document was noteworthy, not on account of its

style, but of its being addressed to some distinguished person.
Even at the hour when the grey St. Petersburg sky had quite

disappeared, and all the official world had eaten or dined, each as he

could, in accordance with the salary he received and his own fancy;

when, all were resting from the department jar of pens, running to and

fro, for their own and other people's indispensable occupations', and

from all the work that an uneasy man makes willingly for himself,

rather than what is necessary; when, officials hasten to dedicate to

pleasure the time which is left to them, one bolder than the rest,

going to the theatre; another; into the street looking under the

bonnets; another, wasting his evening in compliments to some pretty

girl, the star of a small official circle; another--and this is the

common case of all--visiting his comrades on the third or fourth

floor, in two small rooms with an ante-room or kitchen, and some

pretensions to fashion, such as a lamp or some other trifle which has

cost many a sacrifice of dinner or pleasure trip; in a word, at the

hour when all officials disperse among the contracted quarters of

their friends, to play whist, as they sip their tea from glasses with

a kopek's worth of sugar, smoke long pipes, relate at time some bits

of gossip which a Russian man can never, under any circumstances,

refrain from, and when there is nothing else to talk of, repeat

eternal anecdotes about the commandant to whom they had sent word that

the tails of the horses on the Falconet Monument had been cut off;

when all strive to divert themselves, Akaky Akakiyevich indulged in no

kind of diversion. No one could even say that he had seen him at any

kind of evening party. Having written to his heart's content, he lay

down to sleep, smiling at the thought of the coming day--of what God

might send him to copy on the morrow.
Thus flowed on the peaceful life of the man, who, with a salary of

four hundred rubles, understood how to be content with his lot; and

thus it would have continued to flow on, perhaps, to extreme old age,

were it not that there are various ills strewn along the path of life

for titular councillors as well as for private, actual, court, and

every other species of councillor, even to those who never give any

advice or take any themselves.
There exists in St. Petersburg a powerful foe of all who receive a

salary of four hundred rubles a year, or there-abouts. This foe is no

other than the Northern cold, although it is said to be very healthy.

At nine o'clock in the morning, at the very hour when the streets are

filled with men bound for the various official departments, it begins

to bestow such powerful and piercing nips on all noses impartially,

that the poor officials really do not know what to do with them. At an

hour, when the foreheads of even those who occupy exalted positions

ache with the cold, and tears start to their eyes, the poor titular

councillors are sometimes quite unprotected. Their only salvation lies

in traversing as quickly as possible, in their thin little cloaks,

five or six streets, and then warming their feet in the porter's room,

and so thawing all their talents and qualifications for official

service, which had become frozen on the way.


Akaky Akakiyevich had felt for some time that his back and shoulders

were paining with peculiar poignancy, in spite of the fact that he

tried to traverse the distance with all possible speed. He began

finally to wonder whether the fault did not lie in his cloak. He

examined it thoroughly at home, and discovered that in two places,

namely, on the back and shoulders, it had become thin as gauze. The

cloth was worn to such a degree that he could see through it, and the

lining had fallen into pieces. You must know that Akaky Akakiyevich's

cloak served as an object of ridicule to the officials. They even

refused it the noble name of cloak, and called it a cape. In fact, it

was of singular make, its collar diminishing year by year to serve to

patch its other parts. The patching did not exhibit great skill on the

part of the tailor, and was, in fact, baggy and ugly. Seeing how the

matter stood, Akaky Akakiyevich decided that it would be necessary to

take the cloak to Petrovich, the tailor, who lived somewhere on the

fourth floor up a dark staircase, and who, in spite of his having but

one eye and pock-marks all over his face, busied himself with

considerable success in repairing the trousers and coats of officials

and others; that is to say, when he was sober and not nursing some

other scheme in his head.


It is not necessary to say much about this tailor, but as it is the

custom to have the character of each personage in a novel clearly

defined there is no help for it, so here is Petrovich the tailor. At

first he was called only Grigory, and was some gentleman's serf. He

commenced calling himself Petrovich from the time when he received his

free papers, and further began to drink heavily on all holidays, at

first on the great ones, and then on all church festivals without

discrimination, wherever a cross stood in the calendar. On this point

he was faithful to ancestral custom; and when quarrelling with his

wife, he called her a low female and a German. As we have mentioned

his wife, it will be necessary to say a word or two about her.

Unfortunately, little is known of her beyond the fact that Petrovich

had a wife, who wore a cap and a dress, but could not lay claim to

beauty, at least, no one but the soldiers of the guard even looked

under her cap when they met her.
Ascending the staircase which led to Petrovich's room--which staircase

was all soaked with dish-water and reeked with the smell of spirits

which affects the eyes, and is an inevitable adjunct to all dark

stairways in St. Petersburg houses--ascending the stairs, Akaky

Akakiyevich pondered how much Petrovich would ask, and mentally

resolved not to give more than two rubles. The door was open, for the

mistress, in cooking some fish, had raised such a smoke in the kitchen

that not even the beetles were visible. Akaky Akakiyevich passed

through the kitchen unperceived, even by the housewife, and at length

reached a room where he beheld Petrovich seated on a large unpainted

table, with his legs tucked under him like a Turkish pasha. His feet

were bare, after the fashion of tailors as they sit at work; and the

first thing which caught the eye was his thumb, with a deformed nail

thick and strong as a turtle's shell. About Petrovich's neck hung a

skein of silk and thread, and upon his knees lay some old garment. He

had been trying unsuccessfully for three minutes to thread his needle,

and was enraged at the darkness and even at the thread, growling in a

low voice, "It won't go through, the barbarian! you pricked me, you

rascal!"
Akaky Akakiyevich was vexed at arriving at the precise moment when

Petrovich was angry. He liked to order something of Petrovich when he

was a little downhearted, or, as his wife expressed it, "when he had

settled himself with brandy, the one-eyed devil!" Under such

circumstances Petrovich generally came down in his price very readily,

and even bowed and returned thanks. Afterwards, to be sure, his wife

would come, complaining that her husband had been drunk, and so had

fixed the price too low; but, if only a ten-kopek piece were added

then the matter would be settled. But now it appeared that Petrovich

was in a sober condition, and therefore rough, taciturn, and inclined

to demand, Satan only knows what price. Akaky Akakiyevich felt this,

and would gladly have beat a retreat, but he was in for it. Petrovich

screwed up his one eye very intently at him, and Akaky Akakiyevich

involuntarily said, "How do you do, Petrovich?"


"I wish you a good morning, sir," said Petrovich squinting at Akaky

Akakiyevich's hands, to see what sort of booty he had brought.


"Ah! I--to you, Petrovich, this--" It must be known that Akaky

Akakiyevich expressed himself chiefly by prepositions, adverbs, and

scraps of phrases which had no meaning whatever. If the matter was a

very difficult one, he had a habit of never completing his sentences,

so that frequently, having begun a phrase with the words, "This, in

fact, is quite--" he forgot to go on, thinking he had already finished

it.
"What is it?" asked Petrovich, and with his one eye scanned Akaky

Akakiyevich's whole uniform from the collar down to the cuffs, the

back, the tails and the button-holes, all of which were well known to

him, since they were his own handiwork. Such is the habit of tailors;

it is the first thing they do on meeting one.
"But I, here, this--Petrovich--a cloak, cloth--here you see,

everywhere, in different places, it is quite strong--it is a little

dusty and looks old, but it is new, only here in one place it is a

little--on the back, and here on one of the shoulders, it is a little

worn, yes, here on this shoulder it is a little--do you see? That is

all. And a little work--"


Petrovich took the cloak, spread it out, to begin with, on the table,

looked at it hard, shook his head, reached out his hand to the

window-sill for his snuff-box, adorned with the portrait of some

general, though what general is unknown, for the place where the face

should have been had been rubbed through by the finger and a square

bit of paper had been pasted over it. Having taken a pinch of snuff,

Petrovich held up the cloak, and inspected it against the light, and

again shook his head. Then he turned it, lining upwards, and shook his

head once more. After which he again lifted the general-adorned lid

with its bit of pasted paper, and having stuffed his nose with snuff,

dosed and put away the snuff-box, and said finally, "No, it is

impossible to mend it. It is a wretched garment!"


Akaky Akakiyevich's heart sank at these words.
"Why is it impossible, Petrovich?" he said, almost in the pleading

voice of a child. "All that ails it is, that it is worn on the

shoulders. You must have some pieces--"
"Yes, patches could be found, patches are easily found," said

Petrovich, "but there's nothing to sew them to. The thing is

completely rotten. If you put a needle to it--see, it will give way."
"Let it give way, and you can put on another patch at once."
"But there is nothing to put the patches on to. There's no use in

strengthening it. It is too far gone. It's lucky that it's cloth, for,

if the wind were to blow, it would fly away."
"Well, strengthen it again. How this, in fact--"
"No," said Petrovich decisively, "there is nothing to be done with it.

It's a thoroughly bad job. You'd better, when the cold winter weather

comes on, make yourself some gaiters out of it, because stockings are

not warm. The Germans invented them in order to make more money."

Petrovich loved on all occasions to have a fling at the Germans. "But

it is plain you must have a new cloak."


At the word "new" all grew dark before Akaky Akakiyevich's eyes, and

everything in the room began to whirl round. The only thing he saw

clearly was the general with the paper face on the lid of Petrovich's

snuff-box. "A new one?" said he, as if still in a dream. "Why, I have

no money for that."
"Yes, a new one," said Petrovich, with barbarous composure.
"Well, if it came to a new one, how--it--"
"You mean how much would it cost?"
"Yes."
"Well, you would have to lay out a hundred and fifty or more," said

Petrovich, and pursed up his lips significantly. He liked to produce

powerful effects, liked to stun utterly and suddenly, and then to

glance sideways to see what face the stunned person would put on the

matter.
"A hundred and fifty rubles for a cloak!" shrieked poor Akaky

Akakiyevich, perhaps for the first time in his life, for his voice had

always been distinguished for softness.
"Yes, sir," said Petrovich, "for any kind of cloak. If you have a

marten fur on the collar, or a silk-lined hood, it will mount up to

two hundred."
"Petrovich, please," said Akaky Akakiyevich in a beseeching tone, not

hearing, and not trying to hear, Petrovich's words, and disregarding

all his "effects," "some repairs, in order that it may wear yet a

little longer."


"No, it would only be a waste of time and money," said Petrovich. And

Akaky Akakiyevich went away after these words, utterly discouraged.

But Petrovich stood for some time after his departure, with

significantly compressed lips, and without betaking himself to his

work, satisfied that he would not be dropped, and an artistic tailor

employed.


Akaky Akakiyevich went out into the street as if in a dream. "Such an

affair!" he said to himself. "I did not think it had come to--" and

then after a pause, he added, "Well, so it is! see what it has come to

at last! and I never imagined that it was so!" Then followed a long

silence, after which he exclaimed, "Well, so it is! see what

already--nothing unexpected that--it would be nothing--what a strange

circumstance!" So saying, instead of going home, he went in exactly

the opposite direction without suspecting it. On the way, a

chimney-sweep bumped up against him, and blackened his shoulder, and a

whole hatful of rubbish landed on him from the top of a house which

was building. He did not notice it, and only when he ran against a

watchman, who, having planted his halberd beside him, was shaking some

snuff from his box into his horny hand, did he recover himself a

little, and that because the watchman said, "Why are you poking

yourself into a man's very face? Haven't you the pavement?" This

caused him to look about him, and turn towards home.


There only, he finally began to collect his thoughts, and to survey

his position in its clear and actual light, and to argue with himself,

sensibly and frankly, as with a reasonable friend, with whom one can

discuss private and personal matters. "No," said Akaky Akakiyevich,

"it is impossible to reason with Petrovich now. He is that--evidently,

his wife has been beating him. I'd better go to him on Sunday morning.

After Saturday night he will be a little cross-eyed and sleepy, for he

will want to get drunk, and his wife won't give him any money, and at

such a time, a ten-kopek piece in his hand will--he will become more

fit to reason with, and then the cloak and that--" Thus argued Akaky

Akakiyevich with himself regained his courage, and waited until the

first Sunday, when, seeing from afar that Petrovich's wife had left

the house, he went straight to him.
Petrovich's eye was indeed very much askew after Saturday. His head

drooped, and he was very sleepy; but for all that, as soon as he knew

what it was a question of, it seemed as though Satan jogged his

memory. "Impossible," said he. "Please to order a new one." Thereupon

Akaky Akakiyevich handed over the ten-kopek piece. "Thank you, sir. I

will drink your good health," said Petrovich. "But as for the cloak,

don't trouble yourself about it; it is good for nothing. I will make

you a capital new one, so let us settle about it now."


Akaky Akakiyevich was still for mending it, but Petrovich would not

hear of it, and said, "I shall certainly have to make you a new one,

and you may depend upon it that I shall do my best. It may even be, as

the fashion goes, that the collar can be fastened by silver hooks

under a flap."
Then Akaky Akakiyevich saw that it was impossible to get along without

a new cloak, and his spirit sank utterly. How, in fact, was it to be

done? Where was the money to come from? He must have some new

trousers, and pay a debt of long standing to the shoemaker for putting

new tops to his old boots, and he must order three shirts from the

seamstress, and a couple of pieces of linen. In short, all his money

must be spent. And even if the director should be so kind as to order

him to receive forty-five or even fifty rubles instead of forty, it

would be a mere nothing, a mere drop in the ocean towards the funds

necessary for a cloak, although he knew that Petrovich was often

wrong-headed enough to blurt out some outrageous price, so that even

his own wife could not refrain from exclaiming, "Have you lost your

senses, you fool?" At one time he would not work at any price, and now

it was quite likely that he had named a higher sum than the cloak

would cost.
But although he knew that Petrovich would undertake to make a cloak

for eighty rubles, still, where was he to get the eighty rubles from?

He might possibly manage half. Yes, half might be procured, but where

was the other half to come from? But the reader must first be told

where the first half came from.
Akaky Akakiyevich had a habit of putting, for every ruble he spent, a

groschen into a small box, fastened with lock and key, and with a slit

in the top for the reception of money. At the end of every half-year

he counted over the heap of coppers, and changed it for silver. This

he had done for a long time, and in the course of years, the sum had

mounted up to over forty rubles. Thus he had one half on hand. But

where was he to find the other half? Where was he to get another forty

rubles from? Akaky Akakiyevich thought and thought, and decided that

it would be necessary to curtail his ordinary expenses, for the space

of one year at least, to dispense with tea in the evening, to burn no

candles, and, if there was anything which he must do, to go into his

landlady's room, and work by her light. When he went into the street,

he must walk as lightly as he could, and as cautiously, upon the

stones, almost upon tiptoe, in order not to wear his heels down in too

short a time. He must give the laundress as little to wash as

possible; and, in order not to wear out his clothes, he must take them

off as soon as he got home, and wear only his cotton dressing-gown,

which had been long and carefully saved.


To tell the truth, it was a little hard for him at first to accustom

himself to these deprivations. But he got used to them at length,

after a fashion, and all went smoothly. He even got used to being

hungry in the evening, but he made up for it by treating himself, so

to say, in spirit, by bearing ever in mind the idea of his future

cloak. From that time forth, his existence seemed to become, in some

way, fuller, as if he were married, or as if some other man lived in

him, as if, in fact, he were not alone, and some pleasant friend had

consented to travel along life's path with him, the friend being no

other than the cloak, with thick wadding and a strong lining incapable

of wearing out. He became more lively, and even his character grew

firmer, like that of a man who has made up his mind, and set himself a

goal. From his face and gait, doubt and indecision, all hesitating and

wavering disappeared of themselves. Fire gleamed in his eyes, and

occasionally the boldest and most daring ideas flitted through his

mind. Why not, for instance, have marten fur on the collar? The

thought of this almost made him absent-minded. Once, in copying a

letter, he nearly made a mistake, so that he exclaimed almost aloud,

"Ugh!" and crossed himself. Once, in the course of every month, he had

a conference with Petrovich on the subject of the cloak, where it

would be better to buy the cloth, and the colour, and the price. He

always returned home satisfied, though troubled, reflecting that the

time would come at last when it could all be bought, and then the

cloak made.


The affair progressed more briskly than he had expected. For beyond

all his hopes, the director awarded neither forty nor forty-five

rubles for Akaky Akakiyevich's share, but sixty. Whether he suspected

that Akaky Akakiyevich needed a cloak, or whether it was merely

chance, at all events, twenty extra rubles were by this means

provided. This circumstance hastened matters. Two or three months more

of hunger and Akaky Akakiyevich had accumulated about eighty rubles.

His heart, generally so quiet, began to throb. On the first possible

day, he went shopping in company with Petrovich. They bought some very

good cloth, and at a reasonable rate too, for they had been

considering the matter for six months, and rarely let a month pass

without their visiting the shops to enquire prices. Petrovich himself

said that no better cloth could be had. For lining, they selected a

cotton stuff, but so firm and thick, that Petrovich declared it to be

better than silk, and even prettier and more glossy. They did not buy

the marten fur, because it was, in fact, dear, but in its stead, they

picked out the very best of cat-skin which could be found in the shop,

and which might, indeed, be taken for marten at a distance.


Petrovich worked at the cloak two whole weeks, for there was a great

deal of quilting; otherwise it would have been finished sooner. He

charged twelve rubles for the job, it could not possibly have been

done for less. It was all sewed with silk, in small, double seams, and

Petrovich went over each seam afterwards with his own teeth, stamping

in various patterns.


It was--it is difficult to say precisely on what day, but probably the

most glorious one in Akaky Akakiyevich's life, when Petrovich at

length brought home the cloak. He brought it in the morning, before

the hour when it was necessary to start for the department. Never did

a cloak arrive so exactly in the nick of time, for the severe cold had

set in, and it seemed to threaten to increase. Petrovich brought the

cloak himself as befits a good tailor. On his countenance was a

significant expression, such as Akaky Akakiyevich had never beheld

there. He seemed fully sensible that he had done no small deed, and


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