Epilogue
209
3
Considerations on research based on memories
This research is largely built on collecting and understanding the memories of
Dutch mothers. A criticism of this type of research is the selectiveness of
memory, which may influence their answers. People may adjust their memories
to justify their present behaviour (Kroska and Elman, 2009). In the qualitative
research, I found most mothers to be remarkably open and capable of looking
back and providing a narrative of their lives. Nonetheless, even if their stories
were not accurate,
these memories, which were easily accessible to the mothers’
minds, were perceived by the mothers as important. People’s narratives about
their own lives do influence their subsequent steps, for example their perceptions
and evaluation of the course of their life so far, including favourite or unfortunate
occurrences. And just from these memorised stories, I was able to discriminate
some specific patterns that were of interest while investigating the discerning
origins of the labour market behaviour of Dutch mothers. Irrespective of
individuals’ own awareness of the effect of their memories,
memories shape
present behaviour.
4 Engendered
micro-interactional
practices
In general, relatively few contemporary social studies have aimed at uncovering
the prevalent assumptions in operation on the social interaction process of
parenting. This might be due to the present popularity of quantitative studies
based on large-scale representative surveys in academic journals, in which the
social reality is presented in a well-defined and structured way. This type of
research is not particularly apt for revealing routine and contradictory processes
that characterise social interactions at a micro level, such as unquestioned and
self-evident practices that unintentionally might lead to unfavourable
consequences for the people involved. Research of
the micro-interactional
processes helps to understand and reveal the construction, reconstruction and
consolidation of people’s social realities. As is shown in this study, the social
interactional order between men and women is especially interesting, since taken
for granted divisions of labour might stand in the way of the further emancipation
of mothers and fathers, for example in their frequently under-discussed decisions
about whether a mother should reduce her number of work hours or give up her
work entirely.
This study has revealed certain practices concerning how Dutch mothers
display gender compensating strategies, “doing gender”, which helps
to sustain
their social gender structure (West and Zimmerman, 1987). Throughout the week
these mothers equally share the paid and unpaid work with their spouses, but at
the weekend they release their partners from household chores and upbringing
matters, so that their husbands are able to re-obtain their masculinity while
undertaking ‘manly’ leisure activities. In addition, the qualitative findings
revealed that Dutch mothers’ awareness of gender issues, social constructs of
Socialized Choices - Labour Market Behaviour of Dutch Mothers
210
masculinity and femininity, appear almost absent. On the contrary, the mothers
interviewed rather emphasised the individual or ‘natural’ aspects of the daily
divisions of work with their partners. Nevertheless, the
stories of mothers clearly
revealed social practices and personal perceptions of how things are, must be or
ought to be done, along familiar and recognisable gender-lines. More qualitative
in-depth research that includes both partners and is especially aimed at revealing
the often subtle, complex and hidden engendering social practices, which have
unintended consequences for both partners, might help the further emancipation
of both. At the same time this approach might put the narrative
of free choice into
a wider social perspective.
In addition, while in this study I have only addressed mothers, it would be
interesting to employ a similar research among fathers to reveal the invisible
structures, both shared and personal, relating to their decisions and daily practices
towards fathering and their labour market activity. The continuation of
engendered practices among parents may unintentionally block their way to
becoming equally involved partners in family life. Since fathers’ labour market
activity is much more homogeneous than among mothers,
a starting point for
research could be their different number of hours spent on household affairs and
child-raising practices.
5
Collective memories and collectiveness
Finally, a further worthwhile line of investigation would be to understand more
about how and which collective or joint memories bind generations. In my
research I have only moderately shed some light on how individual memories like
‘father on the sofa’ and ‘a consenting mother’ can be defined as collective
memories. Clearly, sensitivity for the social aspect of individuality, the communal
experience, has lost popularity in public discourse. Communal experience is that
part of experience shared with other people - the objective reality as internalized
by individuals as well as by their fellows. I would advocate bringing the social
aspect of individuality back into public discourse, giving greater
acknowledgment
to the social connectedness of individuals. However, we need more social
scientific research to disclose the commonality of individual experiences and
perceptions – studies that are based, for example, on multiple life stories of
people belonging to the same generation, trying to find the collective conceptual
levers with which to lift the social, communal
and shared experiences and
constraints to the surface. This would possibly bring a deeper layer to the public
debate, where potential unwarranted and unintentional social aspects of individual
life could be discussed in a more substantive manner than is done in most
contemporary public discourse. This is especially true of gender issues in general,
and mothering in particular.