I just feel bad if she tells me to stay with her to keep her safe because I
know I will have less chance to do the work I will need to do so I can
look after a whole family here. So I always feel bad. The granny
stopping you from going to do work where you can get good money is
making you feel bad.
This situation highlights the tragedy of the loss of the middle generation – the
children’s parents who would be economically active and therefore able to
help their children to economic independence and the grandparent’s children
who would be able to look after them as they got older and weaker.
Summary of findings
It is clear that children living in elderly-headed households have more
stressors in their lives than children living with parents.
One key stress identified by the children is the grief they feel at the loss of
their parents. This grief, coupled with the trauma of looking after ill parents
before they died and the displacement of migration as they moved (often
more than once) from their original home to their grandmother’s leaves
children with a heavy emotional burden.
Another major stressor is related to the economic situation of elderly-headed
households. There are no economically active members in the household so
there is often no money for basic needs such as food, soap or kerosene.
Other necessities such as blankets and money to repair the house are also a
problem. This situation is often exacerbated by the fact that the family does
not have access to sufficient land to farm effectively as land has been lost
when the children’s parents died.
This situation of deep poverty means that children living in elderly-headed
households have to work to earn money. In addition, many of them also have
more household work to do than children living with parents. This is because
there are often only a few children living in elderly-headed households, there
are no older and stronger adults to do the heavy work and they have to look
after an old person who is sometimes ill and not strong.
Because of this heavy workload children living with grandmothers do not have
sufficient time for themselves. This causes stress because as the children
point out, time for playing, talking to friends and for just sitting is important to
emotional well-being.
It is also clear that access to school and progress in school is a problem for
children living in elderly-headed households. Their economic situation means
that they are often chased from school for lack of uniforms etc. Their progress
is affected by lack of food, heavy work before school, looking after ill grannies,
no kerosene to study at night and a heavy workload after school.
These children also have to contend with the prejudice of community
members who see them as ill-disciplined and dirty.
Yet the children are very clear that for most of them there are many good
things about living with their grandmothers. Their grandmothers love them,
give them a sense of identity, teach them about life, make sure they go to
school and make jokes and tell them stories of long ago. Children in this study
are very clear that they would rather live with grandparents than with other
extended family members.
The children display a strong sense of responsibility and care for their
grandparents. They are happy to look after them as this shows they love
them. They often express the idea that they hold no resentment towards their
grandparents for their situation. It is clear that the benefit for children of the
relationship is greater than the stress.
Children are, however, honest about the difficulties in the relationships they
have with their grandparents. The main difficulty is related to a generation gap
– the children’s need to play and socialise often conflicts with their granny’s
wish to see that household work is done. This seems to be a conflict that the
children are largely able to cope with. There are a few children, though, who
are in situations of deeper conflict that make them vulnerable.
One of the greatest stress factors emerged when children were asked to think
about the future. Children worry about where they will go when their
grandmothers die. They also worry about their capacity in the future to
support themselves and their grandmothers. The lack of land tenure was
particularly worrying for the children as they knew that without land they could
not support themselves.
They show a realistic fear about their future. They are aware that their
economic situation will mitigate against their ability to gain further education
and therefore their ability to be economically active adults will be affected.
They are also aware that they will have the burden of looking after an aging
grandparent. Many of the children worry about how they will combine looking
after their granny with their need to earn money and establish their own
families.
Analysis and conclusions
The AIDS pandemic has created new family structures. One of these, for
example, is the child-headed household. Another is the family structure that is
the focus of this research, the elderly-headed household. These new family
structures have particular characteristics.
The findings in this study suggest that the following characterise the elderly-
headed household:
• Poverty
• Grandchildren as caretakers
• An uncertain future
• A generation gap