30 days: Change your habits, Change your life


The short answer: It’s a selfish act!



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30 DAYS

The short answer: It’s a selfish act!
You’re doing it for yourself, not
for the other person. This is not about being right or wrong. This is
about you being well and not losing a lot of energy. Anger and
resentment and—even worse—reliving hate over and over again are
huge energy drainers. Who has sleepless nights? Who is full of
anger and doesn’t enjoy the present moment? You or the person
you’re not forgiving? Do yourself a favor and let go!
When a journalist asked the Dalai Lama whether he is angry at the
Chinese for occupying his country, he answered: “Not at all. I send
them love and forgiveness. It’s of no benefit at all to be angry at
them. It will not change them, but I could get an ulcer from my anger
and that would actually benefit THEM.” Adapt the attitude of the


Dalai Lama toward the people who have done you wrong and see
what happens. Let go, forgive the people that hurt you, forget them
and move on. But be careful. 
If you say, “I forgive them, but I
don’t forget”, you are not forgiving.
This doesn’t mean you can’t
put limits on others’ behavior or call them out on the spot. But
afterwards understand the consequences and let go. Call up people
that you have wronged or hurt, and apologize, and if that’s too
uncomfortable, write them a letter. 
Above all: forgive yourself!
When you learn to forgive yourself, it will be easier to forgive
others.
Just do it! The changes you will see when you manage to
forgive others and above all, yourself are amazing.
Action Steps:
1. Make a list of everybody that you haven’t forgiven.
2. Make a list of everything that you haven’t forgiven yourself for.
3. Work on the list.
Questions:
What would your life be like if you accepted yourself just as you are,
without any self-criticism?
What would your life be like if you forgave yourself and others?


49
Arrive 10 minutes early
The while we keep a man waiting,
he reflects on our shortcomings.
—FRENCH PROVERB
Punctuality is a sign of discipline and respect for others. Without it,
you might come across as slightly offensive, even if you are the
nicest person in the world. Of course, there are cultural differences.
For example, while in Mexico and Spain people are very relaxed
about punctuality, in Germany not being punctual is seen as highly
unprofessional and might ruin your chances in any endeavor. Here is
another great tip from Talane Miedaner’s book, “Coach yourself to
success”, which I have made into a habit: be punctual not to be
especially polite, but instead for myself. This is because when I
started being punctual, I noticed that those 10 minutes made me feel
a lot better and gave me a lot of peace of mind. When I arrived at a
place, it wasn’t in a rush and I actually had 10 minutes to compose
my thoughts and get used to the environment. Instead of feeling
rushed, I felt very relaxed. I also feel very comfortable, professional
and polite when I arrive 10 minutes early. In fact, I now feel
uncomfortable when I arrive just on time. 

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