Polite acceptance and refusal may vary from culture to culture. The acceptance or
acceptance or ‘No’ for a refusal. Direct acceptance or refusal of an offer may be polite
in some cultures, in others, however, it may be considered weird or impolite. Consider
Exchange 1 is usually expressed by the Western or European speakers. It is eas y
for them to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ bluntly when they accept or refuse to an offer and it is
get an offer such as drink, food, etc. they tend to answer using refusal expre ssion
although they actually expect the offer. For Indonesian it is difficult to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’
directly for an offer. A nearly similar case also happens for Chinese culture. Consider
colleague, Ms Han, to visit her. After they had sat, the professor asked Ms
Parafrase Vol. 10 No. 01 Februari 2010
5
Han whether he wanted to drink tea or coffee. Ms Han answered. “No. No
thank you.” Because the professor wanted to drink coffee, she made it for
herself and once more offered Ms Han but she still refused the offer. So the
professor drank the coffee for herself while she was talking with Ms Han. A
few days later, the Germanic professor met another colleague of hers who
informed her that Ms Han felt a little bit surprised because the professor did
not serve her any drink or food when she visited her. In Chinese culture, if a
guest was offered drink or food, he or she was expected to refuse until three
times in order to be polite. The native, on the contrary, had to give his or her
offer many times and even force the offer to make sure that the guest did not
really want it (Mulyana, 2004: 133-134).
From the illustration above, apparently the Chinese consider it is impolite to accept food
or drink when it is first offered. They are expected to refuse an offer until three times.
The Chinese think that if they accept food or drink when it is first offered, it means that
they are greedy. Almost similar cases happen in some parts of India and Taiwan, as well
as in parts of Arabic-speaking world. Their cultures consider that it is impolite to accept
food when it is first offered. They just can accept the offer when it is on the third offer
and similarly, only a third refusal is considered definitive by the offerer (Ho lmes, 2001:
276).
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