When we discussed whether children would prefer to live with their granny or
with someone else a few children spoke very strongly (and obviously from
experience) about how children were often badly treated by aunts and uncles.
The granny does more than the uncle can do. You may be staying with
your uncle, you go to school, coming back from school you don’t find
the food is ready, instead the uncle tells you to go and collect fire
wood, fetch water and cook yourself. While with the granny you would
find the food is ready, you would eat first, she asks you to do some
other activities. The uncle may have a wife who treats you bad, she
treats her children better than she treats you. Like she tells you all,
including her children to go to collect fire wood but separates it. She
tells the children that if you go there bring whatever wood you get and
come back quickly before this comes. So you just go to the field
together but they come earlier than you, you find the food has already
been eaten by the children of the uncle and when you come they tell
you the food is not here or it was already been eaten. It may also
happen in the household of the uncle that the uncle’s children steal
something and then their mother tells the uncle that it is this one who
stole this item, so the uncle just doesn’t like to stay with you because of
what his wife said.
This context of multiple deaths and migrancy is important in understanding the
information that emerged about the children’s lack of future orientation and
their fear for their future (see 7. below). Having experienced death and
migration many feared (quite realistically) that this was something they would
have to face again in the future.
2. Children living with granny work harder
Like all rural children the children who live with their grannies all do household
work. They collect water, wash dishes, cook, wash clothes, sweep the yard,
weed the shamba (small farm), cut grass for sleeping on and for feeding to
animals, look after young children and collect firewood.
Feeding the cow
Weeding in the shamba
Cooking
Collecting water
This burden of work is a heavy one for all poor rural children. But the work
with the children in the KwaWazee project suggests that children who live in
elderly-headed households do more work than other children – the burden of
work is a heavier one.
The children gave a number of reasons for this.
Few children in the household
They mentioned that often grannies look after only one or two children and
this means the burden of work is often heavy for these few children.
If you are the only big sister in your family and you are living with your
granny all the responsibility in your family falls on you because others
are still young and you are the only person who can do work.
No able adults in household
Children living with grandmothers also said that they had to do tasks that
would usually be done by adults.
The amount of work depends on who you are staying with. Like if you
stay with parents they buy you food then you have not to work but if
you stay with your granny then you have to work for food because the
granny cannot work for food. If you have a strong granny you don’t do
so much but when the granny gets sick then you have to work harder.
It also emerged that children living in elderly-headed households often do
work that is not commonly associated with their gender, which is sometimes
difficult for them.
Sometimes a boy living with his granny feels bad. Peeling bananas and
cooking are activities that girls are always doing so if he sometimes
peels bananas and cooks he is not feeling okay and when the fellow
boys see him, they laugh at him. They say this is the woman, he is
doing the work of women, he is cooking and peeling bananas. He feels
bitter when they laugh at him.
If the boy is washing the clothes of his gran other kids may be laughing
at him.
The work that may make a girl to be laughed at is burning banana trees
because it is the work of men. She just has to do that because there is
nobody else.
The other kids also laugh at these ones because they are shaving the
granny’s head or sometimes they are cutting her hair.
Work was also not age-specific as it is in parent-headed households. In this
study it emerged that even very young children were cooking and collecting
wood (jobs that would usually be given to older children) simply because
granny was unable to do these things as she was sick or too old and there
were no older children in the household. This is a list of work done by a girl of
10.
After school I collect water, then I cook the food – I cook every
evening. Then I wash the utensils and pots. After school some days I
wash the clothes. I also collect food for the chickens and feed them.
There is no one helping me, the other children in the house are 1 year
and 3 years so it is only me.
Work to earn money
It also emerged that because elderly-headed households have no source of
household income as there is no one earning in the house children do work to
earn money to get basic needs such as food, soap and kerosene. This
increases their workload significantly.
I am weeding on Saturdays and Sundays for a neighbour. I give the
money to granny to buy salt or soap.
- I do work for money. I buy soap and kerosene.
- I do work and get money. I buy soap for washing my granny’s clothes.
- We decide on our own to do the work.
- Because without work we can’t get money for buying our daily needs.
Viktor’s story
When Viktor came into the room he looked like the small boy of 8 that he was
but as we began to work and talk together about his life we realised that he
may be small in stature but that he worked like a man in his family.
He fetched water for money, he collected firewood for money and ran a