36
p. 101). Diana desperately missed her old life (Bradford, 2007, p. 81) and her friends from Coleherne
court (Brown, 2008, p. 154), even though she did entertain them from time to time at small lunches
in her sitting room usually accompanied by her mother and her sister, Jane (Bradford, 2007, p. 81).
However, when Diana’s friends came to see her, they could sense that she was pulling away from
them and were hurt because of it, although it was just because Diana was ashamed to tell them that
she missed her old life (Brown, 2008, pp. 154-155).
During the engagement, Diana’s fears over Camilla increased (Bradford, 2007, p. 85). According to
Smith (2007), when Diana asked Prince Charles about Camilla, he told Diana the truth that Camilla
had been one of his most intimate friends, but he also assured her that with his engagement and
marriage there would be no other woman in his life besides Diana. However, he did not go into
more detail with respect to his past relationship with Camilla. Prince Charles assumed that Diana
would take him at his word: he lacked the insight to realize that in the future Diana would become
even more paranoid about Camilla because now she knew the truth of the relationship. Because of
her constant inner turmoil, Diana became obsessive, and the severity of her distress and the
violence of her emotions shocked Prince Charles and he visibly worried about her (pp. 107-108).
Because Prince Charles saw Camilla only once to say farewell from the moment of his engagement
to Diana until 1986, the Prince Charles lobby has always maintained that Diana’s growing paranoia
about Camilla was neurotic fantasy and according to them Diana’s obsessive jealousy of Camilla
became a self-fulfilling prophecy (Brown, 2008, p. 157).
Diana’s anxieties over Camilla worsened in mid-July when she found a gift meant for Camilla, a gold
bracelet with blue enamel disk stamped GF, which stood for “Girl Friday”, Prince Charles’s nickname
for her (Smith, 2007, p. 113). The bracelet was meant as a farewell present (Bradford, 2007, p. 88),
and was one of the many gifts Prince Charles had organized to various friends as tokens of gratitude
(Smith, 2007, p. 113). When Diana confronted Prince Charles about it, he told her bluntly that it
really was for Camilla (Bradford, 2007, p. 88). Despite Diana’s angry and tearful protests Prince
Charles insisted on giving the bracelet to Camilla in person (Morton, 2010, p. 123). He was going to
give it to her at a farewell lunch on Monday 27 July, just two days before the wedding (Smith, 2007,
p. 114). Diana doubted that it would really mean farewell (Bradford, 2007, p. 88).
37
Two days before the wedding day, the same day Prince Charles was giving the bracelet to Camilla,
Diana considered cancelling the wedding, because she was confused, upset, and bewildered by the
train of events (Morton, 2010, p. 124). Despite her adoration for Prince Charles, Diana had doubts
over her ability to cope with the consequences of the marriage (Bradford, 2007, p. 88). While Prince
Charles met with Camilla, Diana lunched with her sisters, Jane and Sarah, at Buckingham Palace and
discussed her doubts with them, but they made light of her fears and premonitions of the disaster
which lay ahead (Morton, 2010, p. 124).
Later that day, Diana and Prince Charles went to St Paul’s for their final wedding rehearsal (Smith,
2007, p. 114). To the casual observer, Diana did not appear stressed in any way, and she and Prince
Charles seemed like they were really in love as they cuddled on the sofa, had their hands linked
during the rehearsals, and skipped down the aisles (Bradford, 2007, p. 89). However, in reality, Diana
was distressed and after the rehearsal she collapsed in tears and seriously considered calling the
wedding off (Morton, 2010, p. 123). According to Brown (2008), the sheer momentum with which
the events were unfolding meant that Diana had no time to process them, and the effort of trying
to understand it all was crushing Diana. In addition, the intensity of the media participation was
exhausting her (Brown, 2008, p. 162). Diana’s distress that had started at the rehearsal at St Paul’s
earlier that day continued during a small reception in the early evening for family and friends, but
at a grand ball held by the Queen at Buckingham Palace that evening, Diana was in good spirits once
more as she and Prince Charles greeted well-wishers at the top of a staircase (Smith, 2007, p. 115).
Diana seemed good humoured and relaxed in her grand surroundings, and there were no signs of
her earlier distress (Morton, 2010, p. 123). Diana was at her most ravishing (Brown, 2008, p. 167).
It was a memorable night and the guests enjoyed themselves immensely (Morton, 2010, p. 124).
There were rumours that Prince Charles spent the night of the ball and the eve of the wedding with
Camilla, but according to Bradford (2007), the story that Prince Charles spent those nights with
Camilla were untrue. Prince Charles and Camilla may have spent some time together earlier the
evening of the ball, but they did not spend the night together, nor was Prince Charles with Camilla
on the eve of the wedding: he and Diana hosted a party at Mark’s Club for Prince Charles’s staff who
had not been invited to the wedding ball the night before. After the party, Diana went back to
38
Clarence House to sleep, while Prince Charles returned to Buckingham Palace, where, after the
fireworks display in Hyde Park celebrating the wedding eve, he spent some time at a window
watching the crowds gathered in the Mall and chatting to Lady Susan Hussey (pp. 89-90).
Meanwhile, in Clarence House with her sister Jane as company, Diana had a fit of pre-wedding
nerves and had a severe bulimic attack (Smith, 2007, p. 116). However, her mood was much
improved when she received a gift from Prince Charles, a signet ring engraved with the Prince of
Wales feathers along with a loving note that said: “I’m so proud of you and when you come up I’ll
be there at the altar for you tomorrow. Just look ‘em in the eye and knock ‘em dead.” (Morton,
2010, p. 125). Diana could hear the explosions of the fireworks in Hyde Park from her room: it was
certainly too late to back out now (Bradford, 2007, p. 90).
Dostları ilə paylaş: |