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THE VARIETIES OF RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE
This has the genuine religious mystic ring! I just now quoted
J. A. Symonds. He also records a mystical experience with chloro-
form, as follows: —
“In the first place,” he once wrote to me, “Mr. Blood and I agree that the revelation is, if
anything, non-emotional. It is utterly flat. It is, as Mr. Blood says, ‘the one sole and sufficient
insight why, or not why, but how, the present is pushed on by the past, and sucked forward
by the vacuity of the future. Its inevitableness defeats all attempts at stopping or accounting
for it. It is all precedence and presupposition, and questioning is in regard to it forever too
late. It is an initiation of the past.’ The real secret would be the formula by which the ‘now’
keeps exfoliating out of itself, yet never escapes. What is it, indeed, that keeps existence
exfoliating? The formal being of anything, the logical definition of it, is static. For mere logic
every question contains its own answer — we simply fill the hole with the dirt we dug out.
Why are twice two four? Because, in fact, four is twice two. Thus logic finds in life no pro-
pulsion, only a momentum. It goes because it is a-going. But the revelation adds: it goes
because it is and was a-going. You walk, as it were, round yourself in the revelation. Ordinary
philosophy is like a bound hunting his own trail. The more he hunts the farther he has to go,
and his nose never catches up with his heels, because it is forever ahead of them. So the
present is already a foregone conclusion, and I am ever too late to understand it. But at the
moment of recovery from anæsthesis, just then, before Starting on life, I catch, so to speak, a
glimpse of my heels, a glimpse of the eternal process just in the act of starting. The truth is
that we travel on a journey that was accomplished before we set out; and the real end of
philosophy is accomplished, not when we arrive at, but when we remain in, our destination
(being already there), — which may occur vicariously in this life when we cease our intellec-
tual questioning. That is why there is a smile upon the face of the revelation, as we view it.
It tells us that we are forever half a second too late — that’s all. ‘You could kiss your own lips,
and have all the fun to yourself,’ it says, if you only knew the trick. It would be perfectly easy
if they would just stay there till you got round to them. Why don’t you manage it somehow?”
Dialectically minded readers of this farrago will at least recognize the region of thought of
which Mr. Clark writes, as familiar. In his latest pamphlet, “Tennyson’s Trances and the
Anæsthetic Revelation,” Mr. Blood describes its value for life as follows: —
“The Anæsthetic Revelation is the Initiation of Man into the Immemorial Mystery of
the Open Secret of Being, revealed as the Inevitable Vortex of Continuity. Inevitable is the
word. Its motive is inherent — it is what has to be. It is not for any love or hate, nor for joy
nor sorrow, nor good nor ill. End, beginning, or purpose, it knows not of.
“It affords no particular of the multiplicity and variety of things; but it fills appreciation
of the historical and the sacred with a secular and intimately personal illumination of the
nature and motive of existence, which then seems reminiscent — as if it should have
appeared, or shall yet appear, to every participant thereof.
“Although it is at first startling in its solemnity, it becomes directly such a matter of
course — so old-fashioned, and so akin to proverbs, that it inspires exultation rather than
fear, and a sense of safety, as identified with the aboriginal and the universal. But no words
may express the imposing certainty of the patient that he is realizing the primordial, Adamic
surprise of Life.
“Repetition of the experience finds it ever the same, and as if it could not possibly
be otherwise. The subject resumes his normal consciousness only to partially and fitfully
remember its occurrence, and to try to formulate its baffling import, — with only this
consolatory afterthought: that he has known the oldest truth, and that he has done with
human theories as to the origin, meaning, or destiny of the race. He is beyond instruction in
‘spiritual things.’
MYSTICISM
303
“After the choking and stifling had passed away, I seemed at first in a
state of utter blankness; then came flashes of intense light, alternating
with blackness, and with a keen vision of what was going on in the room
around me, but no sensation of touch. I thought that I was near death;
when, suddenly, my soul became aware of God, who was manifestly deal-
ing with me, handling me, so to speak, in an intense personal present
reality. I felt him streaming in like light upon me. . . . I cannot describe
the ecstasy I felt. Then, as I gradually awoke from the influence of the
anæsthetics, the old sense of my relation to the world began to return, the
new sense of my relation to God began to fade. I suddenly leapt to my feet
on the chair where I was sitting, and shrieked out, ‘It is too horrible, it is
too horrible, it is too horrible,’ meaning that I could not bear this disillu-
sionment. Thou I flung myself on the ground, and at last awoke covered
with blood, calling to the two surgeons (who were frightened), ‘Why did
you not kill me? Why would you not let me die?’ Only think of it. To
have felt for that long dateless ecstasy of vision the very God, in all purity
and tenderness and truth and absolute love, and then to find that I had
after all had no revelation, but that I had been tricked by the abnormal
excitement of my brain.
“Yet, this question remains, Is it possible that the inner sense of reality
which succeeded, when my flesh was dead to impressions from without, to
the ordinary sense of physical relations, was not a delusion but an actual
experience? Is it possible that I, in that moment, felt what some of the saints
have said they always felt, the undemonstrable but irrefragable certainty
of God?”
1
“The lesson is one of central safety: the Kingdom is within. All days are judgment days:
but there can be no climacteric purpose of eternity, nor any scheme of the whole. The
astronomer abridges the row of bewildering figures by increasing his unit of measurement: so
may we reduce the distracting multiplicity of things to the unity for which each of us stands.
“This has been my moral sustenance since I have known of it. In my first printed mention
of it I declared: ‘The world is no more the alien terror that was taught me. Spurning the
cloud-grimed and still sultry battlements whence so lately Jehovan thunders boomed, my
gray gull lifts her wing against the nightfall, and takes the dim leagues with a fearless eye.’
And now, after twenty-seven years of this experience, the wing is grayer, but the eye is
fearless still, while I renew and doubly emphasize that declaration. I know — as having
known — the meaning of Existence: the sane centre of the universe — at once the wonder
and the assurance of the soul — for which the speech of reason has as yet no name but the
Anæsthetic Revelation.” — I have considerably abridged the quotation.
1
Op. cit., pp. 78–80, abridged. I subjoin, also abridging it, another interesting anæsthetic
revelation communicated to me in manuscript by a friend in England. The subject, a gifted
woman, was taking ether for a surgical operation.
“I wondered if I was in a prison being tortured, and why I remembered having heard it said
that people ‘learn through suffering,’ and in view of what I was seeing, the inadequacy of this
saying struck me so much that I said, aloud, ‘to suffer is to learn.’