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THE VARIETIES OF RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE
With this we make connection with religious mysticism pure and
simple. Symonds’s question takes us back to those examples which
you will remember my quoting in the lecture on the Reality of the
Unseen, of sudden realization of the immediate presence of God.
The phenomenon in one shape or another is not uncommon.
“With that I became unconscious again, and my last dream immediately preceded my real
coming to. It only lasted a few seconds, and was most vivid and real to me, though it may
not be clear in words.
“A great Being or Power was traveling through the sky, his foot was on a kind of lightning
as a wheel is on a rail, it was his pathway. The lightning was made entirely of the spirits of
innumerable people close to one another, and I was one of them. He moved in a straight
line, and each part of the streak or flash came into its short conscious existence only that he
might travel. I seemed to be directly under the foot of God, and I thought he was grinding
his own life up out of my pain. Then I saw that what he had been trying with all his might
to do was to change his course, to bend the line of lightning to which he was tied, in the
direction in which he wanted to go. I felt my flexibility and helplessness, and knew that he
would succeed. He bended me, turning his corner by means of my hurt, hurting me more
than I had ever been hurt in my life, and at the acutest point of this, as he passed, I saw. I
understood for a moment things that I have now forgotten, things that no one could
remember while retaining sanity. The angle was an obtuse angle, and I remember thinking
as I woke that had he made it a right or acute angle, I should have both suffered and ‘seen’
still more, and should probably have died.
“He went on and I came to. In that moment the whole of my life passed before me,
including each little meaningless piece of distress, and I understood them. This was what it
had all meant, this was the piece of work it had all been contributing to do. I did not see
God’s purpose, I only saw his intentness and his entire relentlessness towards his means. He
thought no more of me than a man thinks of hurting a cork when he is opening wine, or
hurting a cartridge when he is firing. And yet, on waking, my first feeling was, and it came
with tears, ‘Domine non sum digna,’ for I had been lifted into a position for which I was too
small. I realized that in that half hour under ether I had served God more distinctly and
purely than I had ever done in my life before, or than I am capable of desiring to do. I was
the means of his achieving and revealing something, I know not what or to whom, and that,
to the exact extent of my capacity for suffering.
“While regaining consciousness, I wondered why, since I had gone so deep, I had seen
nothing of what the saints call the love of God, nothing but his relentlessness. And then
I heard an answer, which I could only just catch, saying, ‘Knowledge and Love are One, and
the measure is suffering’ — I give the words as they came to me. With that I came finally
to (into what seemed a dream world compared with the reality of what I was leaving), and
I saw that what would be called the ‘cause’ of my experience was a slight operation under
insufficient ether, in a bed pushed up against a window, a common city window in a common
city street. If I had to formulate a few of the things I then caught a glimpse of, they would
run somewhat as follows: —
“The eternal necessity of suffering and its eternal vicariousness. The veiled and incom-
municable nature of the worst sufferings; — the passivity of genius, how it is essentially
instrumental and defenseless, moved, not moving, it must do what it does; — the im-
possibility of discovery without its price; — finally, the excess of what the suffering ‘seer’
or genius pays over what his generation gains. (He seems like one who sweats his life out to
MYSTICISM
305
“I know,” writes Mr. Trine, “an officer on our police force who has told
me that many times when off duty, and on his way home in the evening,
there comes to him such a vivid and vital realization of his oneness with
this Infinite Power, and this Spirit of Infinite Peace so takes hold of and so
fills him, that it seems as if his feet could hardly keep to the pavement, so
buoyant and so exhilarated does he become by reason of this inflowing
tide.”
1
Certain aspects of nature seem to have a peculiar power of
awakening such mystical moods.
2
Most of the striking cases which
I have collected have occurred out of doors. Literature has com-
memorated this fact in many passages of great beauty — this
extract, for example, from Amiel’s Journal Intime: —
earn enough to save a district from famine, and just as he staggers back, dying and satisfied,
bringing a lac of rupees to buy grain with, God lifts the lac away, dropping one rupee,
and says, ‘That you may give them. That you have earned for them. The rest is for ME.’)
I perceived also in a way never to be forgotten, the excess of what we see over what we can
demonstrate.
“And so on! — these things may seem to you delusions, or truisms; but for me they are
dark truths, and the power to put them into even such words as these has been given me by
an ether dream.”
1
In Tune with the Infinite, p. 137.
2
The larger God may then swallow up the smaller one. I take this from Starbuck’s
manuscript collection: —
“I never lost the consciousness of the presence of God until I stood at the foot of the
Horseshoe Falls, Niagara. Then I lost him in the immensity of what I saw. I also lost myself,
feeling that I was an atom too small for the notice of Almighty God.”
I subjoin another similar case from Starbuck’s collection: —
“In that time the consciousness of God’s nearness came to me sometimes. I say God, to
describe what is indescribable. A presence, I might say, yet that is too suggestive of person-
ality, and the moments of which I speak did not hold the consciousness of a personality,
but something in myself made me feel myself a part of something bigger than I, that was
controlling. I felt myself one with the grass, the trees, birds, insects, everything in Nature.
I exulted in the mere fact of existence, of being a part of it all — the drizzling rain, the
shadows of the clouds, the tree-trunks, and so on. In the years following, such moments
continued to come, but I wanted them constantly. I knew so well the satisfaction of losing
self in a perception of supreme power and love, that I was unhappy because that perception
was not constant.” The cases quoted in my third lecture, pp. 66, 67, 70, are still better ones
of this type. In her essay, The Loss of Personality, in The Atlantic Monthly (vol. lxxxv.
p. 195), Miss Ethel D. Puffer explains that the vanishing of the sense of self, and the feeling
of immediate unity with the object, is due to the disappearance, in these rapturous experiences,
of the motor adjustments which habitually intermediate between the constant background of
consciousness (which is the Self) and the object in the foreground, whatever it may be.
I must refer the reader to the highly instructive article, which seems to me to throw light
upon the psychological conditions, though it fails to account for the rapture or the revelation-
value of the experience in the Subject’s eyes.