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Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
Seen by a Diplomat’s Spouse
Women’s faces are veiled in the streets; hence Saudi men
do not see women in the Kingdom. Thus the selection
of a bride as a wife is left to the taste of relatives. It is
the mothers, aunts and sisters who undertake the task of
searching in the various gatherings, parties and weddings
for the youthful candidates. As to the youthful candidates,
these make a point of showing their beauty and dresses
at their best. If the lass belongs to a rich family, then she
would be sought by an endless series of suitors; and if she
is highly beautiful then many young men would hasten to
propose to her, through their relatives of course.
After selecting the would-be fiancé, there follows
a process of scrutinization of the physical and moral
features, charac teristics, habits and potentials of the
candidate’s family and an exchange of photographs of
the couple takes place. Thus if all information and data
are convenient and acceptable to both parties, the senior
member of the family of the would-be groom pays a visit
to the bride’s family and asks for her hand in marriage to
the suitor. Thereafter, the future bride and bridegroom are
allowed to meet, being chaperoned by members of both
families. Then the marriage contract is negotiated and its
conditions are laid down, which conditions include all
that is considered necessary in terms of the amount of
dowry, jewelry, private residence of the couple, car and
many other details. For his part, the bridegroom spells out
his own conditions. Once all these matters are concluded,
preparations for the wedding take place.
I should mention in this connection that the suitor is
financially responsible for securing everything for the
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Seen by a Diplomat’s Spouse
future family. Thus he has to pay the wedding expenses,
give presents to the bride and her relatives, pay the sum
stipulated in the marriage contract as a dowry, prepare the
villa or flat, the furniture, the utensils and all household
accessories that are necessary for a full-fledged family life.
Many contemporary fathers usually give their dear loved
daughters money, as well, although the bride is not obliged,
according to customs and traditions, to make any financial
or material contributions. In case of divorce, she gets a
substantial amount of money by way of compensation!
I must admit that having lived many years in the
Kingdom and observed the life of Saudi women, I have
come to the conclusion that I had formed many wrong
impressions and arrived at unwarranted conclusions
concerning Saudi women and their status in the community.
I have found out that the conditions of Saudi women have
many advantages and merits. After the luxurious wedding
ceremony, the new wife gets a new house or flat. In other
words, she gets everything that a bride ever aspires to.
Thus her mother-in-law comes to her house only as a
visitor. When she gives birth, she does not have to suffer
getting up at night to attend to her baby, as her maid is
there to help. When the child reaches school age she feels
quite secure and at ease when she sends her child to a fully
equipped, most-up-to-date school that offers free tuition
that reflects the latest teaching and education methods.
The child is driven by a trustworthy and loyal chauffeur
and thus the mother has nothing to worry about regarding
the safety of her child. She has no fear of the child being
stolen, kidnapped or exposed to an explosion. There is no
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question of his school mate teaching him/her to smoke or
to indulge in drugs. She does not have to carry heavy bags
that contain provisions for her child, as their private car,
or a taxi would do this. Most often, this is entrusted to her
governess, economic assistant or her personal maid.
Under such conditions, she can afford to go to work, if
she so desires. Otherwise, she would have plenty of time to
attend to social life, to receive visitors, to visit her friends,
to join women’s clubs, visit art, commercial and industrial
exhibitions and involve herself in charity and social work.
In the hot summer, she can seek rest and relaxation at the
best summer resorts in Europe, Asia and America.
Thus she has nothing to complain about concerning the
different condition of women in Saudi society, particularly
in view of the fact that significant social and political
changes have recently taken place in the Kingdom. During
the last forty years, i.e. since 1960, school teaching for
girls has been consistently on the increase, so much so
that their number sometimes exceeds that of boys. All
this is undoubtedly to the credit of Princess Effat, spouse
of King Faisal, who is referred to by the Saudi people as
the “Queen Mother”. As to higher education, the same is
true, if the number of students that studied abroad is not
taken into account. Thus even in higher education, female
students outnumber their male counterparts. It is expected
that this difference will gradually even out.
The statements recently made by Crown Prince
Abdullah regarding future prospects indicate that positive
changes in the position of women in the country are
expected to take place. Thus he said something to the
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