91
S‘ad ibn Abi Waqqas said, Allâh’s Messenger (s.a.w.s.) objected to ‘Uthman ibn Maz‘un living in celibacy. If
he had given him permission (to do so), we (others) would have had ourselves castrated. (Compiled by al-
Bukhâri and Muslim.)
Addressing the young men of all times, the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said, ‘Young men, those of you who can
support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at women and preserves your chastity.’ (Compiled
by al-Bukhâri.)
From this statement some scholars have inferred that marriage is obligatory for the Muslim who is able to
support a wife and that the avoidance of it is not permissible, while other scholars add the further condition
for its obligatoriness that he should be afraid of falling into sin.
In fact, it is not befitting that a Muslim should refrain from marriage out of fear of poverty or of not being able
to meet his obligations. He should make every possible attempt to find employment, seeking help from Allâh,
for He has promised to help those who marry in order to protect their chastity and purity. Says Allâh Ta‘ala:
And marry those among you who are single and the virtuous ones among your slaves, male or female. If
they are in poverty, Allâh will enrich them out of His bounty.... (24:33)
And Allâh’s Messenger (s.a.w.s.) said, There are three who have a right to the help of Allâh: the one who
marries out of the desire to live a chaste life, the slave whose master has agreed to his buying his freedom
when he wishes to pay the sum, and the one who fights in the cause of Allâh. (Reported by Ahmad, al-Nisai,
al-Tirmidhî,Ibn Mâjah, and al-Hakim.)
Seeing the Woman to Whom One Proposes Marriage
It is permissible for a Muslim man to see the woman to whom he intends to propose marriage before taking
further steps so that he can enter into the marriage knowing what is ahead for him. Otherwise, if he has not
seen her before marriage, he may not find her looks to his liking and may have regrets after he is married to
her.
The eye is the messenger of the heart; when the eyes meet the hearts and the souls of man and woman
may meet as well. Muslim reported Abû Hurairah (r.a.) as saying that a man came to the Prophet (s.a.w.s.)
and told him that he had contracted to marry a woman of the Ansar. “Did you look at her?” The Prophet
(s.a.w.s.) asked. “No,” he said, ‘Then go and look at her,‘ said the Prophet (s.a.w.s.), ‘for there is something
in the eyes of the Ansar,‘ meaning that some of them have a defect of their eyes
Al-Mughira ibn Shu‘bah said, I asked for a woman in marriage and Allâh’s Messenger (s.a.w.s.) asked me
whether I had looked at her. When I replied that I had not, he said ‘Then look at her, for it may produce love
between you.’ I went to her parents and informed them of the Prophet’s advice. They seemed to disapprove
of the idea. Their daughter heard the conversation from her room and said, ‘If the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has told
you to look at me, then look.’ I looked at her, and subsequently I married her. (Reported by Ahmad,
Tirmidhî,Ibn Mâjah, Ibn Hibban, and Darimi.)
The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) did not specify either to Mughirah or to the other man how much of the woman they
were permitted to see. Some scholars are of the opinion that looking is limited to seeing the face and hands.
However, it is permissible for anyone to see the face and hands as long as no desire is involved; therefore, if
asking for woman in marriage is an exemption, obviously the man making the proposal should be able to
see much more of the woman than that. The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said, When one of you asks for woman in
marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. (Reported by Abû
Daoud.)
92
Some scholars have gone to one extreme or another in relation to this permission, but the best course
seems to be the middle one. One researcher considers it quite appropriate in our time that the man who is
proposing be allowed to see the woman as she normally appears before her father, brother, and other
muharramah. He says:
In the context of the above hadith, he may even accompany her, together with her father or some other
mahrem as chaperone, on her usual visits to relatives or to public places, while clad in full hijab. (Hijab
denotes the proper Islâmic dress. (Trans.)) In this way he will have the opportunity to get an insight into her
reasoning, behavior, and personality. this is a part of the meaning of the hadith, “...to look at what will induce
him to marry her.” (Al-Bahee al-Khooly, Al-Mar‘ah Bain al-bayn al-bait wal-Mujtamah‘.)
If the man’s intention of marriage is sincere, he is permitted to see the woman with or without her and her
family’s knowledge. Jarir ibn ‘Abdullah said concerning his wife, “(Before marriage) I used to hide under a
tree to see her.”
From the hadith concerning al-Mughira we understand that the father of a girl cannot, out of deference to
custom and tradition, prevent a suitor who is in earnest from seeing her, for customs and traditions must be
governed by the Shar‘ah. How is it possible that the Divine Law shbe subjected to the whims of human
beings? On the other hand, however, neither the father, the suitor, or the fiancée can stretch this permission
to such an extent that the young man and woman, under the pretext of betrothal or engagement, go to movie
“heaters, clubs, and shopping places together without being accompanied by a mahrem of hers, a practice
which has become common today among Muslims who are fond of imitating Western civilization and its
customs.
Prohibited Proposal
It is haram for a Muslim man to propose to a divorced or widowed woman during her ‘iddah (that is, the
waiting period during which she is not allowed to remarry), for this waiting period is part of the previous
marriage and may not be violated. Although one may, during this period, convey his desire for marriage
through indirect hints or suggestions, it may not be done through an explicit proposal. Says Allâh Ta‘ala: And
there is no blame on you in what you proclaim or hide in your minds concerning betrothal to
women....(2:235)
It is likewise forbidden to the Muslim to propose to a woman who is already betrothed to a brother Muslim;
the one whose proposal has already been accepted has acquired a right which must be safeguarded in
consideration of goodwill and affection among people, especially among his brother Muslims. However, if the
first suitor terminates his betrothal or gives the second suitor his permission, there is no harm in proceeding
with it.
Muslim reported that Allâh’s Messenger (s.a.w.s.) said, A Believer is a brother to another Believer. It is
therefore not lawful for him to outbid his brother in buying something or to propose to a woman when his
brother has done so, unless he gives him permission.
And al-Bukhâri reported that the Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said, A man must not propose to anther man’s betrothed
unless he withdraws or gives him permission.
The Consent of the Girl
It is the girl’s right to make a decision concerning her marriage, and her father or guardian is not permitted to
override her objections or ignore her wishes. The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said, A woman who has been previously
married has more right concerning her person than her guardian, and a virgin’s consent must be asked
about herself, her consent being her silence. (Compiled by al-Bukhâri and Muslim.) Ibn Mâjah and some
Dostları ilə paylaş: |