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Says Imam al-Hafiz ibn Hajar, The saying of the Prophet (s.a.w.s.), ‘The best among you do not beat,‘ could
imply that beating wives is in general permissible. To be specific, one may beat only to safeguard Islâmic
behavior and if he (the husband) sees deviation only in what she must do or obey in relation to him. It is
preferable to warn (her), or something of the sort, and as long as it is possible to achieve things through
warning, any use of force is disallowed because force generates hatred, which is inimical to the harmony
expected in marriage. Force is applied only when sin against Allâh Ta‘ala (masiyah) is feared. Al-Nisai has
reported ‘Aishah as saying, ‘The Prophet (s.a.w.s.) never beat any of his wives or servants; in fact, he did
not strike anything with his hand except in the cause of Allâh or when the prohibitions of Allâh were violated,
and he retaliated on behalf of Allâh.’(Fath al-Bari, vol. 9, p. 249.)
If all of these approaches fail, and the rift between the husband and wife deepens, the matter then devolves
on the Islâmic society for solution. Two individuals of good will and sound judgement, one from the wife’s
and one from the husband’s side, should meet with the couple in order to try to resolve their differences.
Perhaps the sincerity of their efforts may bear fruit and Allâh may bring about reconciliation between the
spouses.
These various approaches are stated by Allâh Ta‘ala in the following ayah....And as for those women on
whose part you fear stubbornness, (first) admonish them; then refuse to share their beds; and (finally) beat
them (lightly). Then if they return to obedience, do not seek for a waagainst them; indeed, Allâh isMost High,
Great. And if you fear breach between the two of them, appoint an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from
her family. If they desire to set things aright, Allâh will bring about reconciliation between them; indeed, Allâh
is Knowing, Aware. (4:34-35)
When Divorce Becomes Permissible
If all these efforts fail and every course tried proves to be of no avail, the husband may resort to the final
solution permitted by the Shari‘ah of Islâm. In response to the bitter realities of life, when difficulties cannot
be resolved except through the separation of the two parties in an honorable fashion, Islâm has made the
provision of divorce. Islâm has permitted divorce reluctantly, neither liking nor commending it. Said the
Prophet (s.a.w.s.), “Among lawful things‘ divorce is most hated by Allâh.” (Reported by Abû Daoud.)
That a thing is lawful yet detested by Allâh means that it is permissible under unavoidable circumstances,
when living together becomes a torture, mutual hatred is deep-seated, and it becomes difficult for the two
parties to observe the limits of Allâh and to fulfill their marital responsibilities. In such a situation separation is
better, and Allâh Ta‘ala says, But if they separate, Allâh will provide for each of them out of His
abundance.... (4:130)
Divorce in the Pre-Islâmic Period
Islâm is not alone among religions in permitting divorce. Prior to its advent, apart from a very few societies,
divorce was allowed everywhere in the world. It was a common occurrence that when a man became angry
with his wife, he would turn her out of the house, with or without a just cause, and the wife had no legal
recourse against him nor any claim on his property, nor even a right to support money or compensation.
Unconditional and unrestrained divorce was allowed among the ancient Greeks when their civilization was
ascendant. Under Roman law a judge was empowered to annul a marriage even if the two parties had
included a provision against divorce in their marriage contract, since the possibility of divorce was regarded
as a part of the marriage contract. During the earlier period of Roman civilization the religious marriage
made no provision for divorce, but at the same time the husband was given absolute power over his wife; for
example, under certain circumstances it was lawful for him to kill her. As time passed, the religious law was
brought into conformity with the civil law, which permitted divorce.
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Divorce in Judaism
Judaism improved the status of the wife but it also broadened the scope of divorce. The religious law
requires that the husband divorce the wife if moral delinquency is proved against her, even though he may
prefer to forgive her; likewise, he is required to divorce her if she does not bear him children throughout a
period of ten years of married life.
Divorce in Christianity
Christianity stands alone among the religions we have mentioned, in distinction even to Judaism, in
prohibiting both divorce and marriage to divorced men and women. Jesus (s.a.w.s.) is reported to have said,
“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorcement. But I tell you,
whoever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of adultery, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever
marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery. (AI-Islâm Din ‘Am Khalid by Farid Wajdi, p.
172.) ” (Matt. 5:31-32) “And he said to them, ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits
adultery against her; and if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.’ ”
(Mark 10:11-12)
The reason for this is given in the Gospels in the words, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man
put asunder.’‘ (Matt. 19:6, Mark 10:9.) This statement is correct in the sense that, since the husband and
wife are married by God’s permission and legislation, one may say that God has joined them together,
although it is the man who enters into the marriage contract. In similar fashion, since God has permitted and
legislated divorce in relation to certain reasons and circumstances, one may say that God has separated
them, even though the man implements the divorce. It thus becomes clear that no man puts asunder what
God has joined together, for joining together and putting asunder is in the hands of Almighty God, and is it
not God Himself Who puts them asunder due to the reason of sexual immorality?
Differences among Christian Denominations Regarding Divorce
The New Testament Gospels do make an exception with regard to the prohibition of divorce in the case of
sexual immorality. Some Catholics, however, try to explain away even this exception by saying, “The
meaning here is not that adultery is an exception in the case of which divorce is permitted, because in
Christian law there is no divorce. The phrase, ‘Except for unchastity,‘ means that the marriage itself is
annulled, since its legality and correctness have been violated; thus, while it is seemingly a marriage, in
actuality it is adultery. Consequently, in such a case it is permissible for the husband, or rather incumbent
upon him, to leave the woman.” (In a commentary on the Gospel According to Matthew, Institute of Coptic
Catholic Research.)
The Protestant denominations permit divorce on the grounds of adultery, betrayal of the husband, and some
other specified reasons, in addition to those mentioned in the text of the Gospels. However, some of these
denominations prohibit the remarriage of a divorced man or woman.
The councils of the Orthodox Church in Egypt permit its followers the right of divorce on the grounds of
adultery, as provided by the Gospels, and for some other reasons such as sterility extending over a period of
three years, chronic illness, and prolonged dissension which appears to be irresolvable.
Consequences of the Christian Stand on Divorce
As a result of this uncompromising stand of Christianity with regard to divorce, people in Western countries
were obliged to resort to civil legislation in order to legalize it. Unfortunately, many of them, the Americans,
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