33
same emotions which were desired by the original text.
The language of the original novel is full of idioms and other elements
of colloquial language, as I have mentioned above. There are also lot of cultural
words contained, not mentioning number of words of German origin which are so
common even in current Czech language. Thus all these elements may cause a
problem during translating. The level of informality of the source language text can
be achieved by using phrasal verbs, e.g. zbacal – scuffs up, by including reduced
forms, as in a tady todle je, jak jsme juž řekli - and this is as we've said already's or
through other possible devices of colloquial language. Further, the same method
could be applied with dialect. However, translating cultural words, metaphors and
idioms is more complicated and sometimes requires explanation. Another
complicated item is professional slang which is also very frequent in the original; in
this case it is slang connected with shoemaker's trade, beer industry and warfare.
As for the general method, this should be the communicative
translation which is the most likely to fulfil the intentions stated above because of its
setting at the level of the reader.
5.3 Comparison of target language text with source
language text
This part of my bachelor thesis contains translation corpus consisting
of chosen parts of the original text and the translation. The criterion for choosing the
individual extracts from the original text was quite simple. Firstly, I was searching
for items which seemed interesting to me personally, e.g. for those which I wanted to
observe more closely. Secondly, these items had to be at the level of my linguistic
knowledge and also to be suitable for comparing, e.g. there had to be something I
could write about.
To make my orientation in the corpus easier, I marked each important
item with italics. As was mentioned before, I am going to follow the Newmark's
34
method of comparison which involves categorizing the items according to their
common features. Again, to make my orientation easier and to make my work more
quick and comfortable, I indicated each item with a tag related to a certain category
of items. The tags and their meaning are described in Table 3 below.
Consequently, there are fourteen categories altogether. These
categories are further discussed in the part of this sub-chapter which directly follows
the corpus. Some of the categories were broader and contains more items, whereas
some of the others required only brief explanation. I tried to express my personal
view concerning individual items as well as to point out possible appropriateness or
inappropriateness of the translator's version. Moreover, I suggested my own solution
in cases of inappropriateness.
Tag Meaning
D.
Dialect
V.
Vulgarisms
G.
Word of German origin
S.
Professional slang
C.
Cultural words
U.
Under-translations
O.
Over-translations
M.
Metaphors
I.
Idioms
Ch. Change of meaning
Si.
Similes
Gr. Grammar
?
Possible misprint
Ph. Phrases
Table 3: Tags and their meanings
35
Corpus
CZECH ORIGINAL ENGLISH TRANSLATION
B. HRABAL J. D. NAUGHTON
"Jestli se pánové, neurazíte, zvu vás na
C. z
abíjačku."
"A pane správče, zařiďte, ať ze S. spilky
přinesou deset bas lahvového leţáku.
Co deset, ? dvacet bas!"
"Pojďte, pánové, prosím, ale C.
zabíjačkový guláš musíte jíst lţičkou z
polévkového talíře, guláše aţ po
obroučku! A za chvilku se budou podávat
C. jaterničky s křenem a kroupová a
žemlová jelítka. Pánové, tudy, prosím."
O. Říkal,
tyhle vlasy jsou zbytek starých
zlatých časů, takové vlasy jsem nikdy pod
svým hřebenem neměl.
"
Ch.
Mil
ostivá paní, neurazte se, napijte
se vode mě!"
"Avšak C. plzeňský pivo, milostivá paní,
má přesnější barvu vašich vlasů,
dovolte...", zabreptal kovářský mistr,
"dovolte mi, abych na vaši počest šel dál
popíjet ty vaše zlaté vlasy."
"Pepin." "Tak konečně
Gr. uvidím tvého
bratra, konečně uslyším svého švagra,
švagříčka!"
"Strýcu Joţine,"
volala jsem na prahu,
"pojďte dál." "A kterápak vy jste?", řekl
strýc Pepin.
"Gentlemen, if I may be so bold, I invite
you all to our C. slaughtering party."
"Manager, have ten crates of bottled lager
brought over from
S. the plant.
No no, make it ? twelve."
"Come along, this way, gentlemen, if you
please, but you'll have to eat the pork
goulash with a spoon from a soup bowl,
right up to the brim! And in a little bit
we'll have C. sausages too with
horseradish, and barley and breadcrumb
puddings. Gentlemen, come this way
please."
O. He said,
"That hair of yours is a hark
back to he golden days of yore, never
have I had such hair under my comb
before."
"Come on, Ch. young missus, don't be
shy, have one on me!"
"But C. the Pilsner beer, young missus, is
nearer to the colour of your hair, allow
me...", mumbled the master blacksmith,
"allow me to go back in and continue
drinking in your honour some more of
that golden hair of yours."
"Pepin." "Now at last Gr. I'm going to
see that brother of yours, at long last I'm
going to hear something from my little
brother-in-law!"
"Uncle Joţin," I called out to him from
the doorstep, "come on in." "Which one
are you?" asked uncle Pepin.